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The doghouse

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Original poster

Using doggy daycare for a "weekend off"

92 replies

copernicium · 15/07/2021 22:53

I don't want this to sound judgemental, I'm actually posting because I don't want to fall out with my friend - I'm struggling to give her the enthusiasm she seems to want when describing what a wonderful time dog is having at daycare.

So she works school hours and is out at activities in an evening. Dog gets walked, love and attention outside of these hours, don't get me wrong. But then at weekends, she's started taking him to doggy daycare for the weekend, including overnight - so they can have the weekend as a family. They then go on nice countryside walks, visit NT etc.

I just don't understand why you would have a dog and send her away so you can go and do dog friendly activities. She says dog loves it, gets two walks a day and has made loads of friends.

Is this a thing? Is it normal to use daycare because the dog enjoys it, not just because you need it? Am I doing something wrong in keeping my dog with me all the time?

I don't know, I just don't know what to say to her when she raves about it every week...

OP posts:
StormcloakNord · 15/07/2021 23:23

@DareIask I apologise - I thought you were meaning that dogs prefer to be around other dogs in "packs".

I do agree that dogs get the most enjoyment from being with their owners, their 'family'.

That was my mistake - sorry!

Comebloodyon · 15/07/2021 23:24

Dogs want to be with their pack/humans/family. I think what your friend is doing is shit. Why bother having a dog

Dobbyafreeelf · 15/07/2021 23:24

Could they actually be trying to get the dog used to being with the daycare people in preparation for going away etc. I am about to send my young dog to day care when I can get slots so she gets used to it. She's nervous and takes time to adjust. She wouldn't cope with just a couple of visits before being left for a week for example.
Could well be that they are sending the dog on the weekends because it's quieter on those days and better for settling than busier weekdays. Or maybe only slots available.

thisplaceisweird · 15/07/2021 23:25

I agree with you OP but it's none of your business, just change the subject

DareIask · 15/07/2021 23:25

[quote StormcloakNord]@DareIask I apologise - I thought you were meaning that dogs prefer to be around other dogs in "packs".

I do agree that dogs get the most enjoyment from being with their owners, their 'family'.

That was my mistake - sorry![/quote]
Ah I see where we got confused... no apology needed. Thanks

Original poster
copernicium · 15/07/2021 23:30

@Mrsdoubtfireswig these are my feelings exactly. So when she's telling me what a great weekend the dog has had, I'm just stumped and kind of say "umm ok good" and then just feel rude!

OP posts:
KizzyKat91 · 15/07/2021 23:31

Does she have kids, OP? I’m assuming so from your mention of family walks. It sounds like the dog spends barely any time with the family as a whole, if everyone is out during school hours, at activities in the evening and then the poor dog gets shipped off every weekend!

Do you think she struggles to manage the dog and kids at the same time? Surely the kids want to spend time with the dog at the weekend…

Elieza · 15/07/2021 23:33

If someone doesn’t want to take their dog on a family walk I’d suggest it’s because it’s more hassle than it’s worth. Could be because the dog pulls because the owner has not bothered to train it, or the kids are hard work and it’s hard to manage them and a dog, or that the dog will get muddy and they don’t want it in the car after and haven’t worked out a suitable solution for this problem etc.

Why someone would get a dog to then palm it off on someone else instead of going for a walk together beats me.

Original poster
copernicium · 15/07/2021 23:33

@thisplaceisweird I know. But she seems to want a response ... and I just feel sad and don't know what to say. This week she was telling me how busy dog must have been over the weekend as she fell asleep as soon as they got in the car ... and I just couldn't get excited over this like she was!

Just makes me sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
copernicium · 15/07/2021 23:36

@Elieza dog is very strictly trained to walk to heel, wears one of those nose lead things to stop pulling, isn't allowed to jump up, lie on sofas, go upstairs etc. Children are older and beautifully behaved. It doesn't make any sense.

OP posts:
thisplaceisweird · 15/07/2021 23:40

It's very sad. I could never do it. You wouldn't ship your kids off every weekend.

You could just throw it out there "do you really think he's having a better time there than being with you?"

TedMullins · 15/07/2021 23:43

The poor dog. That’s really bizarre not to take it on their country walks! My dog comes pretty much everywhere that he’s allowed with me, if I meet a friend for a drink we choose a dog friendly pub (unless they’re allergic or dislike dogs). I can’t imagine wanting to palm him off every weekend, seems pointless having a dog if you feel that way and cruel to the dog.

Direstraitsmates · 15/07/2021 23:43

It is strange. They have a dog but almost all of 'having' the dog is outsourced to others.

Original poster
copernicium · 15/07/2021 23:46

@TedMullins same

OP posts:
paddlingon · 15/07/2021 23:54

My dog loves his boarding and daycare place.

We live somewhere with harsh winters and then I sometimes drop in in for a day so he can play with other dogs and run around in a large indoor enclosure.

I often keep him an extra day at daycare after we have been away so I can focus on getting straightened up.

But I wouldn't send him away every weekend, he travels with us to our holiday cottage.

Original poster
copernicium · 15/07/2021 23:59

All those uses of daycare make sense. This doesn't to me.

OP posts:
Bortles · 16/07/2021 00:06

Agree with you OP ams dont get me started about halties (nose led harness). They just show an owner with zero empathy or understanding of how a dog feels and thinks.

BiteyShark · 16/07/2021 00:17

Well I have just collected my dog from boarding after spending a few days doing 'dog friendly' activities. This is because I don't think it is in my dogs best interest to be walking for hours at a time in the direct sun then having to wait around in a pub. For some that would be a dog friendly day out but for me I know he prefers an hours walk followed by some sofa time.

NiceGerbil · 16/07/2021 01:01

Loads of people are lucky enough to have family who will look after their kids so they can get away! And go to preschool etc etc

I mean I know there's different opinions on that but still.

My friend looks after dogs for his job. They get long walks in the woods and are very well looked after. When I bump into him the dogs always look cheerful! As best as I can tell.

If it's high quality and the same person then I get you don't agree with it but I can't see it as appalling tbh.

stevalnamechanger · 16/07/2021 01:07

I find it odd that she would go on walks without the dog , kind of my purpose to have one

Doggy daycare on the odd weekend isn't unusual but this arrangement sounds very odd

DeathByWalkies · 16/07/2021 01:18

DDog goes to his dog walker once a week as he enjoys it, and it means they can easily pick up additional walks when work is mega busy. He goes even though I'm usually at home (WFH) during those times

I do find it a bit odd, however, that you'd go on a country walk without the dog!

warmfluffytowels · 16/07/2021 08:15

I wouldn't judge. It does seem odd on the surface but her dog could have any number of issues that means they can't take him or her on a family day out.

  • reactivity issues on the lead meaning walking is very stressful.
  • separation anxiety meaning the dog has to be with them all the time which isn't necessarily practical or enjoyable.
  • poor recall meaning it can't ever be let off the lead.
  • too young to be walked all day long whereas at daycare it will get naps and breaks.
  • maybe it's car sick on long journeys.

Or maybe they just want a break. Dogs are really tying and they change the nature of a day out imo, even if you're going somewhere dog friendly. The focus is always on the dog - you can't sit inside here, you can't just decide to go to an indoor attraction because of the dog etc.

She's paying presumably good money to send her dog to daycare - it's not like she's leaving it home alone for hours!

Chunkymenrock · 16/07/2021 08:26

So the dog is basically only ever at home with the family during the late evening and night, when everyone is asleep? How awful. Their lifestyle is incompatible with dog ownership.

Original poster
copernicium · 16/07/2021 08:42

@warmfluffytowels I've been on walks with her and my dog, he has none of these issues...
I know most places are still restricted but they do all their weekend things in proper outdoor, dog friendly places. They aren't pub/restaurant/cinema people.

OP posts:
Mirrorxx · 16/07/2021 08:45

Our dog goes to day care 1 or 2 mornings a week even though we are wfh. He loves it and gets to play with his friends for a few hours, and it allows us to get some stuff done that is more difficult with him here. But I wouldn’t take him every weekend.