Breeder not sure about Son2

[aloneinthenight]

I don't know how normal this is and what to do.

I really want a puppy. Our eldest son died last year and I think a dog would be a great help.

Although DH isn't really a dog person, he is on board. Son2 was initially keen but now ambivalent.

I've found a breeder who is very good and super responsible. She lives 40 minutes away from us and expects weekly visits for 8 weeks (from when puppies are 4 weeks old to when she lets them go at 12 weeks).

Son2 doesn't like going. It takes up all his Sunday morning when he'd rather be with his mates, he doesn't like their house (they have a lot of dogs) and they are quite intense.

They want to see him play with the dog, tell the dog off, learn how to handle him.

Today, on visit 4 (!) they have said they are not sure Son2 wants a dog enough and they may not let us take it.

He is obviously struggling since his brother died. Son1 was very exuberant and he is much more reserved, he is also wary around new people and doesn't like to get things wrong.

I think a dog will be good for him but in much more of a 'slow burn' way and in his own time.

I'm not sure what to do. He's now feeling under even more pressure than before. They want us to visit twice a week to be sure he is keen, which seems counter productive.

Help!

Presumably she can't insist on regular updates can she

“Is it? What if you're a couple with a baby, or expecting? Not like they'll be able to tell how the child will be with the dog in the future! Seems extreme.”

Well lots of breeders won’t sell puppies to people who are pregnant or have young babies anyway...it’s not really an ideal time to get a puppy.

With children though, it’s mostly just to make sure they’re not terrified (some people get a puppy to try and cure dog phobias) and that the parents have half a clue how to deal with a puppy and child together.

I mean, dodgy breeders will quite happily sell to anyone and not care if they meet everyone or not, but half decent breeders will want to.

Presumably she can't insist on regular updates can she

Some do. And set up group chates for the other owners and expect to be updated in there.

No she can’t insist on updates. She can ask, but you don’t have to.

She sounds bat shit so I’d avoid that nonsense.

Another visit last night and everything was much better.

They let son2 play in the garden by himself for a bit, and then taught him some training tips. He was so much happier and it was a really positive visit. The husband kept out of the way.

We've agreed that we will take him home for 2 weeks before we go on holiday, so he can get used to our house when he's little, then he will go back to them to board while we're away and then we'll get him.

I realised I'd got my dates completely mixed up and he would be 14 weeks by the time we got back, which felt too late.

Thank you for all your advice - it helped enormously to work out what we needed from her.

@aloneinthenight glad the last experience was much more positive

When we bought our 2 Lhasa Apso puppies me, DH and child had to visit every week from 5 weeks when we chose 2 pups until 10 weeks. We had to travel 60 mes each way. Luckily D's was very keen for the pups and breeder said he was calm with pups so all good.

@caringcarer

When we bought our 2 Lhasa Apso puppies me, DH and child had to visit every week from 5 weeks when we chose 2 pups until 10 weeks. We had to travel 60 mes each way. Luckily D's was very keen for the pups and breeder said he was calm with pups so all good.

Any breeder who lets you take 2 littermates together is so incompetent and irresponsible that any checks they did pale into total insignificance!

I’m shocked

For anyone wondering why having 2 pups from the same litter is such an awful idea that no decent breeder would ever, ever entertain the idea:

blog.betternaturedogtraining.com/2013/07/18/littermate-syndrome/

@aloneinthenight

Another visit last night and everything was much better.

They let son2 play in the garden by himself for a bit, and then taught him some training tips. He was so much happier and it was a really positive visit. The husband kept out of the way.

We've agreed that we will take him home for 2 weeks before we go on holiday, so he can get used to our house when he's little, then he will go back to them to board while we're away and then we'll get him.

I realised I'd got my dates completely mixed up and he would be 14 weeks by the time we got back, which felt too late.

Thank you for all your advice - it helped enormously to work out what we needed from her.

What training tips did the breeder give your son? Did they involve telling the puppy off?

Does the breeder have a socialisation plan for the time before you collect it and whilst you are on holiday?

@caringcarer

When we bought our 2 Lhasa Apso puppies me, DH and child had to visit every week from 5 weeks when we chose 2 pups until 10 weeks. We had to travel 60 mes each way. Luckily D's was very keen for the pups and breeder said he was calm with pups so all good.

I hope it’s all worked out well for you but a breeder who would allow that is pretty irresponsible

@Happenchance she was totally different.

She taught him some games to help him learn his name, and to teach him how to sit with some treats.

Sounds much better. Great to hear

[quote SW1amp]For anyone wondering why having 2 pups from the same litter is such an awful idea that no decent breeder would ever, ever entertain the idea:

blog.betternaturedogtraining.com/2013/07/18/littermate-syndrome/[/quote]
Littermate syndrome has been debunked.

There's nothing inherently problematic about rehoming two littermates as long as you have appropriate time and resources to ensure appropriate socialisation and prevent competition. That's obviously harder with two puppies than with one. But the behaviour problems arise from inadequate provisions, not from an inherent 'littermate' relationship