Puppy Survival Thread - March - April

[PugInTheHouse]

Just starting a new thread before we run out on www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/4141698-Puppy-Survival-Thread-January-February

Welcome to everyone trying to survive the puppy days!

You won't get flamed here I think most people on this thread have experienced what you describe. I didn't know about the puppy blues until I got one. I spent the majority of his first few weeks with us crying and wondering wtf I had done. He's 21 weeks now and it's becoming easier. I actually look forward to him waking up now whereas before I was like you, waking up in the morning filled with dread.

@Qwertyyui wow! Sparklepup just wolfs down his food, he would never it there all day! Then goes in the garden to forage for leaves and mud. Greedy boy.

Thanks @PugInTheHouse and @HappyThursdays maybe we'll start to ween him off it now. He's not going to be impressed with us!

@Sparkle79 yes Happy wasn't impressed and he bangs his bowl on the floor if it goes past 4 without dinner!

@Sparkle79 We would just have left her on three meals a day but she stopped eating lunch so we just dropped to two (bigger) meals and were lead by her. If she seems hungry she still gets a Kong at lunchtime. Think food is the only thing I've been relaxed about! If he wants three meals a day I'd be tempted just to leave him.

@Washerdog21 no flaming here, I was desperate for a dog (emotional and all sorts) and then ended up signed off work I was so depressed when she actually arrived. I didn't like her for the first few weeks, yet somehow also spent the whole time worrying about her and anxious something bad would happen to her. It's absolutely normal (as I've now learned), she's 6 months now and my absolute best pal. I jump out of bed in the morning cos I can't wait to see her, cheesy as that is. Daycare is a brilliant suggestion, I keep singing its praises on here. It buys you breathing space and a mental break. Plus puppies grow up fast, it gets so much easier very quickly. You're right in the thick of it.

@Washerdog21 I think (and I mean this with no disrespect btw) that people with anxiety have a much harder time adapting to dogs. I think it is because there can be so much to worry about - if you can't/don't train them, it reflects on your in public and that's hard for people with anxiety, and they are a burden, there's no doubt about that.

I think daycare can help as can making sure dh does his bit. But ultimately it should get better as they get older and develop more of a personality. Has the puppy bonded with you?

I just wanted to say that I really really disliked our puppy for the first year. He made me anxious and stressed. I hated the impact he had on our home and my life. I would daydream about returning him or losing him. I just wanted my old routine back. Honestly, i regretted him hugely. He's now 19 months old and we all absolutely adore him. He's the centre of our world and I love seeing his happy, wagging tail every morning, I love our walks together and the bond he has with Ds (and we actually had some major issues with DS as pup went through a fear aggression stage which was directed at him). They do change so so much in the first year, his behaviour is unrecognisable from the puppy he was and id love to say I've put in hours of training and hard work but much of it has just come from him maturing. He's just lovely, not perfect but who is.

It will get better! Hang in there and you'll get the family dog you wanted in the first place.

Thank you everyone!

Dh is taking the lead with training(excuse the pun) and looking into daycare. I think part of problem is the puppy just seems like another job on my to do list, when it should be everyone’s concern.

@HappyThursdays, I am not entirely sure but she always wants me to play and brings her toys to me or she settles down by or on my feet. I don’t feel bonded to her yet.
@Tulipsy272, yes, this is exactly how I feel...not that we’ve done much for the last year.

@Tulipsy272 that post is inspirational!

@Sparkle79 I have recently weaned Plantpup off her lunchtime meal - she is only just 4 months. She sort of lost interest in lunch and was generally less keen on it, so I’ve just divided her daily food over breakfast at about 7:00 and dinner at about 5:30 with a snack of a chew or treats if training in the middle, and she’s coped absolutely fine

Plantpup has developed a bit of a new obsession with the sofa cushions...I keep trying to distract her whenever she goes for one which sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t. Any top tips for undesirable furniture chewing!? I have bitter apple spray but aside from the fact it makes everything smell of apple she seems to have worked out that if she licks something a few times and deals with the taste it goes away after that

I would remove them all but there’s about 10 of them and I’m genuinely not sure where they’d go

@Plantlover23 Sparklepup also like to chew / hump sofa cushions. We try to get him to chew a toy instead and if that doesn't work we take him off the sofa. We used vicks vaporub on the chair legs because he liked the taste of the £9 bitter apple spray but not sure if that would work with cushions

my biggest bully loved the bitter apple stuff. didnt help at all. the girls love to chew cushions too so try to discourage and replace with toys if we catch them doing it.

Lovely post @Tulipsy272 - thankyou!

I'm glad my post helped a bit. They do eventually just blend into the background of family life. Yes you'll always have to walk them, feed them etc but they just don't command so much time, worry, attention. We can now just get on with our day, once he's had a walk he just mooches about, takes himself off to sleep, curls up next to us while we watch TV. I can go for a bath or a nap and not worry about what he's getting up to and as I said, he's still only 19 months old, they do settle very quickly (although it doesn't feel it at the time!). He's a high energy breed too (spaniel terrier cross) and he was our first puppy, many many times I thought I'd broken him with my poor attempts at training but despite my pathetic efforts he can suddenly follow basic commands and he doesn't jump up at people or bite or chew things, he settles on his bed, waits at the door, moves off things when I ask him.

I genuinely found having a puppy had the same impact on our life as having DS but without the maternal instincts. It was horrible and I felt absolutely ridiculous about it because its only a dog! People have dogs all the time and don't have mental breakdowns over them! I actually think they do but they just keep quiet about it! Anyway, im so glad we didn't return him. Our house would feel utterly empty without him, this time last year I was constantly thinking 'shit, I've got 10-15 years of this hell!' and now I feel so sad at the thought of him not being in our lives forever. They really do steal you heart!

@Sparkle79 I wish. She has had maybe one meal today. She does have frozen carrots and I make my own liver cake and dog biscuits so I know when she is having 'treats' I know they are healthy so I am not too concerned but some days she wakes up and is sick because she is hungry but her food is available! She is such a weirdo!

@Plantlover23 we had issues with spfa cushions. She broke a few zips I had to fix so just put the ones she liked to chew the best away til she grew out of it and now she doesn't chew them. She rarely chews though unless it is something she is given or she finds paper she can shred! She does goes through a lot of ham bones though!

@Washerdog21 I think most people go through exactly the same thing, unless they are very used to dealing with puppies. Take a deep breath!
I have certainly felt just as you describe. Our Springer pup is almost six months. Regret and feeling out of my depth comes in waves, and I recognise it's when I don't have a plan for what to do with her or a clear idea of what and how to train her
I am also the main person caring/training/responsible although there are four people in the family.
I have realised a few things that have really helped:
She is becoming calmer and more receptive to training and good behaviour as she grows
Training only needs to be for short repetitive periods during the day and up to six months only needs to be the basics - sit, stay, down, smallest inkling of heel, toilet training, manners around doors, not biting, not jumping up
If you are calm and loving, she will calm
Ignoring your pup is really important, and they will learn to play and settle by themselves - they just need a safe space

I've also learned that her feeling loved, safe, well fed, and with a garden to explore, is enough for now. Small bits of training will build gradually to a well behaved lovely dog.
I also have times when I resent the affect on our lives - mostly mine - and my broken sleep - but a decent afternoon when she listens and I feel I'm making a small amount of progress makes a big difference. Also, she gets me outside and is very lovng.
I couldn't think of rehoming her now, even though some days feel very hard I am hopeful for how she will turn out as an adult.

@Washerdog21 I also struggled with pup at the start. She was a land shark and a nightmare for sleep. She also stalks me EVERYWHERE though I can go out the room if she can see me but if I shut the bathroom door she whines for me. I found it all very overwhelming and wondered what the hell I had done. Now she is like a second child to me. I do about 95% of her care and some days I wonder what I did but seeing her do her tricks and learning makes me so proud of her. Maybe instead of worrying about the bond coming just try and appreciate the happy moments even if they are fleeting. It is the same when you have a baby and wonder what the hell you will do with a kid forever. You just grow and adapt to them and then wonder how you would live without them. Just don't put pressure on yourself to feel something you think you should and just allow yourself time to grow with your situation.

@Tulipsy272, again you are totally echoing my thoughts and its so helpful that I am not alone!

@DoubleTweenQueen, thank you, I think reading all the things on the internet re training has not helped and in fact heightened my anxiety. I can see that she is developing each week and I can see she will be a lovely dog.

@Qwertyyui, thank you I am going to take each day at a time. It does feel like baby days again. I am only thankful that we’ve not had any issues with sleep as i think I would be rocking in my chair by now.

@Washerdog21 I literally was close to tears with the lack of sleep with our pup. 3 weeks and I caved and got her a cage to sleep in on a night as she was constantly waking me up and I was scared she would pee and I wouldn't know. We still have her in our room but in her cage on a night. None of us sleep well otherwise. If we go out for an hour we do it when she is due a nap and pop her in her cage upstairs. I do find it tying not being able to leave her for long but that is my anxiety and she is always fine when we get home!

I also spent the first few months convinced she was going to die as even though her breeder was legit and checks were done I kept thinking we had gotten a secret puppy farm dog and she would keel over at any minute so I was a mess. Honestly just felt like I had a newborn all over again that I could break or lose. I am better now... just. Even when she went in for her spay I was convinced she wouldn't make it and we would get a call from the vet saying the worst! Then you can imagine the 10+ days of recovery when she was obviously going to pop her stitches......

I find her walks are my happiest times now. Just dissappear off with her and see how happy she is just makes me smile as to her this is an amazing life with no worries and I live vicariously through her for that time and not think about the other things that cause me anxiety!

@Qwertyyui, often its well meaning advice that sets me off..toilet training that apparently was done in 3/4 days and we did have her up in our bedroom and that was met with many “oh you’re going cause yourself problems there” Its well meant but piles on the pressure.

@Washerdog21 I hear you loud and clear about all the training references and pressure!! Reminds me a bit of the competitive parenting that used to drive me crazy and make me feel bad. No need for it!! X

@LorelaiVictoriaGilmore another first time owner of a Springer and a lockdown pup here. Like you some of the negative comments about breed choice get me down too. I joined a breed specific FB group and the positivity and support on there convinced me about my choice. Plus Springers are absolutely adorable. Funny, loving, easy to train, gentle and cuddly. What’s not to like? Mine is 5 months now and is an absolute darling. Ignore the haters!
Of course I haven’t experienced the teenage stage yet so maybe I’ll be eating my words!

@washerdog21 everyone can give you advice but remember just nod and then ignore. I remember being told not to let baby in my bed because she wouldn't ever sleep alone. She is now 11 and wouldn't sleep with me if I paid her! People always want to tell you what you are doing wrong because it makes them feel better but they are not there. They don't know your pup. If pheebs is in our room forever I don't care! Its our home. Its our rules and anyone who has an opinion can jog on! You are living with your pup and making your own decisions. In one ear and out the other UNLESS you think it will help then try it. Toilet training took a while for us. She now stands at the back door and stares at us but I did a good few weeks of dashes outside with a pup who tried to wee where she shouldn't!

Oh my goodness yes! The anxiety over training and what they should or shouldn’t be doing by such and such an age. The best advice I got was from my pup’s breeder who told me when they are little he ‘just lets them be a puppy’. I think if you can work on really basic things like toilet training and developing a bond with your puppy
everything else will follow in time.

@Colourmylife1 I also have a lovely Springer who will be 6mnths on the 14th!
She has really settled and loves all four of her new family, and life generally. She is so clever and loving - they are a super breed :)

@Tulipsy272 and @Colourmylife1 I feel so much more positive after reading your posts. Thank you! I do absolutely adore dpup but I do wonder why I got such a challenging breed! But then she is adorable and bright and so affectionate... just also unbelievably naughty! 😂 It doesn’t hurt that she’s been curled up on me all evening and has only tried to gnaw my hand off once... 😁