DH & I disagree it's time to say goodbye to our pup

[Peachy92]

Won't go into every detail but our dog is a senior who's been diagnosed with a nasty cancer. We cannot afford the treatment for her (even with insurance) to remove the tumours and even if we did the prognosis is very poor. We've done what we can in my opinion and I love this dog I truly do. But all I see is suffering and a dog who's not happy. Medicine makes her sick, she barely eats, is incontinent most days. Doesn't interact much but mostly wants to be left in her bed. To me there's no real quality of life and just because one day she might eat a few times and enjoy a walk it doesn't make up for the bad days outweighing the good. We both get very frustrated because we're all stuck in the house together with 2 young children and the constant mess and in / outs to the garden or just wandering aimlessly back and forth whilst we're working is testing. She doesn't know what she wants. We offer different food or treats or try and fuss over her but nothing is right. The dog seems mostly unhappy and it's causing the time we have left with her to be a lot less happy than it used to be. I feel it's time to say goodbye for everyone's sake but my partner thinks it's too soon. I wouldn't mind if he didn't get so frustrated with the dog but he does! So why let it continue?! I've tried explaining that no matter what, we're going to have to say goodbye soon and the longer this goes on the worse it'll be for us all. Hoping it'll happen peacefully at home one night is wishful thinking to me and I'd rather not let her suffer more and more.

@jerriblank

If you search for mobile vets in your area it'll probably be easier than calling around different practises. Our vet is mobile and has been to our home (in PPE) when our dog had an eye infection.

And the reason we use a mobile vet is because our dog is terrified of going into the vet practise but is completely fine with the vet being in the house, and I'll do anything to make sure she isn't in any distress.

No matter how long you have together or the length of your goodbye, there will always be more you wished you could have done and things about your goodbye that weren't as perfect as you would wish.

That's the nature of losing anyone you love or care for - human or animal. It's not because you didn't do the right things with the time you had, it's because they're important to you and you still want them around. I don't think it's possible to love someone and feel ready about saying goodbye. We always want more time, a better final moment - for them to stay with us.

Reminding myself of this helps when I'm struggling with grief or loss, or facing saying goodbye to a loved one. Sharing in case it can bring you any comfort.

Sounds like a bit of a breakthrough OP, well done. Let him have a day with the dog while you look for a vet that will come out to you. So long as he understands that putting it off won't make it any easier. I'm so sorry, big hug ((()))

DM had her dog pts just before Christmas. They were tier 4, and it took a lot of convincing of the vet but they eventually agreed to come out and do it in the boot of the car in a corner of the car park. She then drove straight to a pre-arranged appointment at the pet crematorium. They all wore full PPE and stayed as far apart as they practically could. It was a horrid rainy day and devastating but not as bad as not being with DDog.
Her vet understood. Keep trying with your vet...they may come around.
So sorry for you all

Yes search for mobile vets in the area. I know there’s one around here.

Much as he’s coming round the idea, your husband is still being totally selfish and letting the dog suffer. There isn’t time for a couple of family days with her, she’s suffering. I’d have bloody murdered him by now if he’d let my dog suffer so much. At this point, sad as it may be for you, saying goodbye in a car park may be the only kind thing you can do for her.

God he's a selfish bastard, sorry op but this is just cruel. He needs to grow a spine and deal with it. When you take on responsibility for a pet you take on all the decision making not just the nice bits. Your DH's being very very selfish and is failing this poor animal. What sort of friend is he? How can he say he loves DDog if he is allowing this suffering. Nobody wants to make these decisions but it's part of life and loving your dog. We had to make the decision to have our beautiful 21 year old cat PTS just before Christmas. As heartbreaking as it was we were all relieved to not have to watch our lovely boy suffer and he drifted off to sleep peacefully.

I'm glad he's starting to see sense, OP. I'm so sorry for you and your lovely dog.