Puppy - at breaking point

[CrapDogOwner]

Possibly beyond.

Pup is 11 weeks. He is lovely - friendly, responds well to training.

I on the other hand am at the end of my tether. So sleep deprived I have spots before my eyes and I'm having dizzy turns. Spent first 10 days on floor near puppy, gradually moving further away. Thought I'd cracked it with 3 days in my own bed, but tonight he howled the house down.

So I'm on the sofa, fucking freezing, lying here thinking "this room now reeks of dog piss."

Because if he does go outside, I swear it's by accident. I spend half my life in the fucking garden with him. He has cast iron bladder and sphincter control - so long as he's outside. Come back inside - he immediately pisses and craps on the carpet.

My life is just a sheer hell of piss, crap and sleep deprivation and it's making me ill.

Talk to the breeder, crate train

Put the puppy in a crate and go to bed with ear plugs at night. After 4-5 nights of howling it will stop, and one of your problems will be solved.

I have a 7 week puppy. Had him for 4 days.

I am with you on everything you’ve said. It’s so so hard. Same problem, won’t pee outside but pees the minute I am in.

I have brought the crate up to my bedroom. He slept from 8pm until 3am, then from 3.30 until 6.30. I had him in the kitchen the last three nights and he’s cried nearly every hour.

Toilet training is getting slightly better. As with what everyone says - consistency is key. Keep doing it. Keep positive praising and treats when the puppy has the hang of it. They soon learn.

I was so tired two nights ago, I cried yesterday. Honestly understand why sleep deprivation is a torture technique

Keep going!

I have been crate traing. That's what the sleeping on the floor is about, and I've also been trying to accustom him to me going out in the day, which has (up till now) been going quite well - 10, 15 minutes.

The earplugs had occured to me, but I don't want to build up bad associations with his crate such that he sits in it in the day and howls if I have to be out for an hour or so.

Friends ended up with a nightmare dog that way - couldn't even be left for 15 minutes while they went to the corner shop.

Also tried sleeping on the settee with puppy in the kitchen. That didn’t work. I couldn’t sleep on the settee and that was making life harder

Dog Training Advice and Support on Facebook. Think you can also subscribe to a special puppy forum now for a very small fee. Lots to read but lots of tried and tested solid advice from very experienced trainers all force free.

You shouldn't be sleeping downstairs with a puppy. All you're doing is training him to want you there.

You might consider finding a local dog trainer to give you some advice. As we hadn't had a dog since I was young, we spent £65 for someone to visit and spent a couple of hours with us and dog for advice and it really helped.

It IS hard. Crate training works, my first puppy (twenty years ago) was still toileting in the house at 6 months old (so inexperienced -me) My second puppy was crate trained and was toileting outside at about 15/16 weeks.

I'll never have another puppy though...

@Hellin301

I have a 7 week puppy. Had him for 4 days.

I am with you on everything you’ve said. It’s so so hard. Same problem, won’t pee outside but pees the minute I am in.

I have brought the crate up to my bedroom. He slept from 8pm until 3am, then from 3.30 until 6.30. I had him in the kitchen the last three nights and he’s cried nearly every hour.

Toilet training is getting slightly better. As with what everyone says - consistency is key. Keep doing it. Keep positive praising and treats when the puppy has the hang of it. They soon learn.

I was so tired two nights ago, I cried yesterday. Honestly understand why sleep deprivation is a torture technique

Keep going!

Why do you have a puppy of that age? He should still be with his mother/siblings

@JanieBP

Put the puppy in a crate and go to bed with ear plugs at night. After 4-5 nights of howling it will stop, and one of your problems will be solved.

Oh that's just lovely for the neighbours!

@CrapDogOwner

I have been crate traing. That's what the sleeping on the floor is about, and I've also been trying to accustom him to me going out in the day, which has (up till now) been going quite well - 10, 15 minutes.

The earplugs had occured to me, but I don't want to build up bad associations with his crate such that he sits in it in the day and howls if I have to be out for an hour or so.

Friends ended up with a nightmare dog that way - couldn't even be left for 15 minutes while they went to the corner shop.

It's good that you've started separation training OP. Make sure when you leave him that you're giving him a chew/kong/puzzle feeder or something nice that keeps him occupied as this will build positive associations with being left rather than him feeling bored/frustrated.

Also make sure you're doing strategic socialisation to tire him out and encourage sleeping, such as:
drsophiayin.com/app/uploads/2015/12/Socialization_Checklist.pdf

As well as some basic positive reinforcement training as this will tire him out mentally and set up his association with being rewarded for performing the correct behaviour. You can then apply this to toilet training.

When he is indoors, limit his access to other rooms in the house and keep him in a smaller space with food and bedding - he won't want to toilet here.
Carry him outside to toilet so he has no opportunity to toilet elsewhere in the house. You need to limit his toileting options and then reward him when he goes in the right place. 11 weeks is still young though - what breed is he?

Thanks for the support - waves to Hellin - good to meet a fellow puppy struggler.

I started out downstairs on advice on how to settle him when he'd first come home -away from mum and litter mates for the first time. The idea was to gradually move further away, then out to another room entirely, which all went quite well till I got a 24 hour tummy bug, and DS took him into his room so I could get an early night. That's what's screwed up the routine we were beginning to establish (I do understand the importance of consistency).

The dog is being very cute and wagging his whole back end at the moment.

Put the puppy in a crate and go to bed with ear plugs at night. After 4-5 nights of howling it will stop, and one of your problems will be solved
Please don't do this. You are not supposed to just leave them in there if they get distressed and they don't have the bladder control to last a night so you will just come down to a distressed pup with piss and shit everywhere.

You say he comes in and pisses on the carpet. Dont you have puppy pads down? MN seems to have a thing about not using puppy pads but I found them invaluable at first and pup is having no problem transitioning to outside. Also if ypu havent cleaned your carpet with enzyme cleaner he will continue to toilet there because of the smell.
I really sympathise about the sleep deprivation. I found it much worse than the baby years. We abandoned the crate about 2 weeks in and have lovely uninterrupted sleep since then, he just sleeps in a bed in our bedroom. I wouldn't leave him in a crate in the day anyway for any length of time so have just been training him to be on his own in the kitchen when I'm not there and slowly building up. I think its like babies, everyone just finds there own way to fit their pup and their family, its exhausting while you're trying to crack it though

Why do ppl always jump in if a puppy is’too young’?
My DD has had her pup from 5/6 weeks as the mum had badly attacked the pups and they had to be removed for safety, there are exceptions 🙄 oh and he is doing great.

I found my puppy at that age slept much better if I left an item of my recently worn clothing in his cage. Also did the earplugs thing which worked although I hated it. Basically I put him in the crate about 30 mins before bedtime, turned lights off then stayed there for a bit watching TV or whatever and left when he was calm. I also give him a bonio at bed time as a signal of the bedtime routine.
Hang in there. Mine is 22 weeks now and puts himself to bed some nights. He gets very excited at the thought it could be bonio time

Have had 4 dogs ,2 from a puppy
Never used a crate
But I did use the room that had access to the garden as a play pen
For us that was the kitchen,I bought metal baby Dan gate type thing that goes in to a shape and can divide a room.
So I fixed it so pup had a nice space ,with bed toys ,puppy pads and food in a cosy space approx half of kitchen,with free roam to garden.
Left doors open as much as possible to garden
Pup went in play area when I left the room/ house or went to bed.
Lots of toys and chews to keep pup amused ,lots of safe space to play if pup was not tired ,and the whole floor in play pen covered in puppy pads.
In the day I put used puppy pads in the garden where I wanted pup to toilet .
I used the command ...Hurry up ...that was to get pup to toilet on demand outside ..I reward with a treat for every toilet in the right place.
I ignore any accidents ..
Pup did not go anywhere that had carpet untill 100% bladder control
Worked for us
Never had crying at night or in the day ...a of people don’t agree with puppy pads ,but I found them invaluable,and of course massively helpful to show pup where I wanted her to toilet outside.
As pup got older I regularly took her outside,and used command hurry up ..
I was home full time and able to give pup all the time she needed.
Done this twice now with 2 puppies ...both are fine ,no wee in house .

However I do have a rescue dog ,I am struggling with ,who because I didn’t have from a puppy ,I’ve not trained myself ..and he’s proving a tad difficult...but I’m sure we will get there
Good luck

@HerMammy

Why do ppl always jump in if a puppy is’too young’? My DD has had her pup from 5/6 weeks as the mum had badly attacked the pups and they had to be removed for safety, there are exceptions 🙄 oh and he is doing great.

Because those cases are few and far between. Plus any bitch with an unstable temperament like the one you describe is not a good candidate for breeding in the first place.

There are significant health and welfare issues associated with early maternal separation that can have lifelong impacts for puppies and so early removal of puppies is not recommended and should be questioned by anyone that cares about dog welfare. Rehoming of puppies at 6 or 7 weeks is generally detrimental to welfare (except in specific situations where it might be the least worst option) it's certainly not a good experience and shouldn't be accepted or normalised.

I do have puppy pads and enzyme cleaner (thinking of taking out shares in both I'm buying so much).

Very small house so no option of a room just for her or an uncarpeted area (barring the kitchen which is a tiny galley).

I can't help you with sleep because somehow I got lucky and out pup was sleeping alone all night, no accidents from his first night with us! Although we didn't get him till 10 weeks so he was older than your pup.

Toiletting - you need to be taking him out LOADS! I also got our pup in autumn/winter so that wasn't massive fun. But he was toilet trained quickly. Every 20-30 minutes, and especially after food,water and sleep, I'd go out and be boring with him in the garden. If he did a wee he'd get lots of fuss and a treat.

If he went to the toilet inside we just cleaned up and ignored.

Puppy pads give a mixed message and shouldn't be used at all in my opinion. Make toilet training harder and are bad for the environment.

Also look for clues. We worked out that my pup would do lots of sniffing and circling before a poo. So we would whip him out as soon as he started that.

Keep with it. It's so worth it. Every week gets easier. Our dog is 2 now and he's the best thing we did.

@Veterinari
I agree but everyone has the assumption that only gold standard dogs are bred from and breeders are all perfect, it’s laughable the naïveté, I work in rescue and more dogs are carelessly bred than bred correctly, I feel as if there’s a parallel universe ppl live in where everything is perfect and organised 🙄

Do not use puppy pads - you’re teaching him that it’s ok to toilet inside.
Clean your carpet with the special enzyme cleaner.
Watch for his clues that he’s going to toilet. I read that it’s sniffing and circling, but for mine it was head down sniffing and walking in zig-zag lines. Have a prompt word for wee and poo. As soon as he sits down to do either say the word and treat IMMEDIATELY that he’s finished. Lots of happy ‘what a clever boy’ noises and make a fuss.
Have a coat and shoes by the back door with treats in the pocket, ready to go.

[quote HerMammy]@Veterinari
I agree but everyone has the assumption that only gold standard dogs are bred from and breeders are all perfect, it’s laughable the naïveté, I work in rescue and more dogs are carelessly bred than bred correctly, I feel as if there’s a parallel universe ppl live in where everything is perfect and organised 🙄[/quote]
No one has suggested this

Dog breeding is not exactly outside human control. It perfectly possible to select healthy, parents of good temperaments and plan to breed to produce good quality puppies who can be rehomed at the appropriate age.

I'd have thought as someone that works in rescue you'd be encouraging good breeding and rehoming practices, not derailing the thread by attacking me for pointing out that 6 weeks is generally far too young for responsible puppy rehoming.

@Veterinari completely agree and it's the normalising that's the worry. Really needs an explanation as to why or people do assume that's ok.

Quentin the quiet time in crate and 30 minutes TV with volume low is the bedtime routine I've been using, up till it went pear shaped.

Veterinari - glad to say our dog came from a reputable breeder, both parents health checked, puppies really well socialised within the family before they left. Behaviour wise he's a dream most of the time - already have him happy to sit to get cuddles rather than jumping up, will sit while his food gets put down.

Funnily enough today toileting is going okay, 2 of each outside already (I am already doing the things recommended, out every 20 minutes to half an hour, ignore accidents and clean with enzyme cleaner, praise and treat when he does go outside - I get the impression he hasn't read the manual, though).

Toilet training for my dog was like with my children. Suddenly he just clicked thar he goes outside and started asking (sitting at back door and whining) and we have had no accidents since. Before that he was a bit hit and miss.