I think I’ve made a mistake getting a puppy

[MoosliMoo]

Hello,

Please don’t shout at me as I’m feeling really vulnerable!

We recently got a new puppy. My husband has wanted a dog for years but I’ve always said no as I think it’s cruel to have dogs if you’re constantly out of the house. As we used to be. Now with COVID we both work from home full time. Husband said why not. I couldn’t come up with a good answer.

I love walking and loved the idea of taking a dog for walks, but I’m not a natural dog person. I’m a massive cat person, and adore our cat. But I wanted to do something nice for husband - we’ve had a difficult year with infertility, failed IVF and of course the pandemic.

So we’re a week in, which I know is nothing, but I hate it. It’s not the puppy’s fault. She is very sweet and largely very good - just typical puppy behaviour. But it’s exhausting, the cat is understandably miserable and I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake. I would never, ever take it out on the puppy as she’s done nothing wrong, but I feel nothing for her but responsibility.

Does it get better? Does it get worse?! If the cat doesn’t adjust with time and love am I justified in saying the dog should go back to the breeder?

I’d love some advice. But please be gentle, I’m very teary right now!

I love dogs.

New puppies, not so much!!

I'm team moos!!

Personally I'd get DH to be in charge of keeping Murphy away which I had moos on my lap.

They need to learn what's what! & if moos sleeps on your bed, Murphy will have to sleep in his bed! Or crate or bed in crate.

Give Mois some safe spaces & privileges!!

We did have dogs until recently but still have cats
Cats are definitely in charge! Dogs weren't allowed on sofas and cats do what they want

I felt abit like this after I got my dog. I thought I'd made a huge mistake getting a puppy, but now I've had her for 12 years and I love her to bits. My cat wasn't keen at first but in the end they became best friends and they like to sleep cuddled up together. I'd just give it a bit of time :)

It will get easier - post puppy blues are a real thing as it is a big shock to the system. The first few weeks are really tough, but it will be worth it.

Are you able to divide up your living space so your puppy is contained in one area and you cat can get away if he/she wants? It normally takes about 3 weeks for a cat to adjust and either settle into a routine of ignoring the dog or bossing him around. Our puppy just turned 4 months - so he has been with us about 10 weeks - and the cats are now absolutely fine, perfectly happy to be in the same room etc (and they put him firmly in his place if they think he is being too puppy-ish). My big girl even likes to join in the puppy training sessions and executes a very good ‘look at me’ in return for a Dreamie.

I think I had this fixed idea of all the things I wanted to do with my dog - running, long country walks, drinks at cafes, cuddles on the sofa etc. And of course, you can’t do any of those things with tiny, bonkers, bitey puppies. And neither me nor DP had appreciated how much he would change the rhythm of our lives and to what extent we would have to plan our time around him. So we were definitely shell-shocked at first and definitely had moments of doubt. But 2 months down the line, although he is still an absolute handful, he is part of the family and we really, really love him. (Though I will always consider myself more of a cat person.)

This is Kobe. He’s nearly nine months old. He’s grown so much!

its cute. Is it a boston terrier?

The cat will get used to it. Cats can take weeks to get used to change then theyre fine

We all have the What have I done phase. I've had it with both mine. Ddog1 was a terror as a puppy. Chewed everything. Walls included. She is a total diamond as an adult. Ddog2 was easy as a puppy but has turned into a pain as an adult. He is dog aggressive towards other males who haven't been neutered. If the other dog is a girl or has had the snip, he's a joy to be around. We thought he would improve with neutering but no. He was separated from his cherries 4 years ago and still a little fucker. Ddog1 regards him with a kind of weary 'here we go again' look when he kicks off. If I'd had him first, I'd never had got another. Yet for all his faults, I love the daft twat and I'd not swap him.

Ime the majority get better with age.

Start as you mean to go on, don't let things slide because they're only little. If you don't want them doing it fully grown, don't let them do it as puppies.

My 5 month old puppy just ate all my pizza (no dinner for me now) that was on the kitchen counter I am soooo cross because my husband knows he's obsessed with food & stupidly left it on the edge I wanted a lap dog but he insisted on labrador & guess what I do bloody everything! I have just about had enough of my husbands lazy lack lustre attitude he's outrageous! I love the puppy but my husbands is a lazy bum!

Oh their lovely, Moos looks like she is a very loved cat.

A year is how much time I put into our dog... And things never got better just worse. Rehomed her. She's happy in a new family. Things are much better here and our cats are happy again.

I'll never own a dog again.

My puppy is 12 weeks old and we’ve had her for a month - I definitely had the puppy blues!

We have 3 cats and the oldest one scratched her on night 1 to establish the pecking order. She is very very wary of him. He also did protest shits in her bed and peed around the house for the first week. However, he’s now calmed down and mostly ignores her, and he’s stopped with the protest poo/wee.

Cat 2 was totally intrigued from day 1 and they now play chase together and cat boxes the puppy’s ears.

Cat 3 was quite scared to start with and we barely saw her for a week, but then she got braver and now also plays chase with the puppy and boxes her ears.

I was scared that the cats would never settle down but they have. And puppy went through a bitey little piglet phase (which hasn’t totally stopped yet) and I wondered wtf we had done - and it was my idea! But she can go for walks now and that’s helped so much. She had her first 15 mins off-lead today and came back whenever she was called and ran around after the kids and then spent nearly 3 hours asleep, it was bliss!

Sorry no advice re dogs but I’m struck by the parallels with the issues expressed here and what happens when you have a new (human) baby. Therefore I’d imagine that as they grow up and mature (which will happen a lot quicker with a dog than a baby) things will get a lot easier and you’ll enjoy everything a lot more.

I'm ashamed to say it now but when we first got our dog I would have done anything to have sent her back to the breeders.
I was miserable, I hated her and wanted my old life back.
3 years on and I am completely devoted to her, she is the light in my life and would be totally lost without her.
What I'm trying to say is hang in there, it gets so much better.

If the cat spends the day in the spare room, perhaps if you can make that a puppy-free room. Have somewhere dark in there where she can sleep, so she can always have time away from the puppy.

I was you in June, it does get much easier.

My cat was not at all happy, she is my little Princess and she has always had exactly what she wants exactly when she wants it. For the first four weeks she would attack the dog at any opportunity, if I got too close I would be her next victim.

Now the puppy is generally well behaved, toilet trained, sleeping through the night, can be left alone for small periods and has learned to avoid the cat.

We’re on week 5 with our second pup, so we’ve done this before, those first two weeks we’re still hell. Different kind of hell to with the first pup but hell nonetheless. TipsyDog is 3 now and she’s fantastic. She’s currently lay in what must be an uncomfortable position sort of half at my side and half on my lap (she’s 15.5kg so she doesn’t fit completely on my lap). She’s snoring and she’s just the best. There were many times TipsyDog made me want to cry. There were many times I wondered what the fuck we’d done.

TipsyDog is now so good, we thought we’d get TipsyPup. For the first two weeks DH took on the lead with TipsyPup as I just couldn’t deal with him. I was too tired, too emotional. I made sure to keep TipsyDog happy and keep them separate. Now pup has settled in a bit more, he’s a bit more likeable. He’s sleeping through the night, still up early but we’re getting sleep and it just makes it easier. He’s doing well with his training and whilst it’s not easy, it’s easier than it was 3 weeks ago. DH is still taking a bit more of a lead though because although he’s getting into a bit of mischief but he’s quite funny with it, so I get dirty looks from DH as I laugh at TipsyPup when actually I should be telling him to leave it and redirecting his attention.

It does get easier. The puppy stage feels so long when you’re in it. It feels like we’ve had TipsyPup about 10 years. But one day, you look at your dog sprawled across your lap and can’t believe you’ve had them for 3 years. They feel like they’ve been part of your family forever but it also feels like yesterday that you were picking up the tiny ball of fluff. Then you look at puppy pictures, get nostalgic and find yourself with another pup!

Puppies are such hard work. They are cute but they are annoying and irritating and messy and frustrating. It took me ages to take to my puppy. They do get better though and are less work as they get older. You'll grow to love the puppy. It will calm down and become a little person to you as it gets older. And when you have it neutered, it should calm down even more. Just hold tight through the most annoying parts!

I have two dogs that I love and adore. But both times I had massive puppy blues for the first two weeks.
In terms of the cat, we had a 10 year old cat when we got our first dog. It took a while, but eventually the cat trained the dog to sit every time the cat walked into the room! We did put up baby gates to stop the dogs going upstairs and to block off the utility room where we feed the cat, so he gets some guaranteed space.

We got our dog in august, it took me a couple of months to get over my puppy blues but by the time he was 16 weeks I could see how he fit into our family and life started to feel a bit more normal. I think it's the upheaval an feeling like you've set a bomb off in the middle of your lovely life!

It takes my cat about 4-6 weeks to stop complaining about a new dog (I foster them, so we get more new dogs than normal, lol)

I can't lie, I find these thread interesting, I have never had pup blues or find then hard work.
I have three ddogs...
I am quite tough at the beginning so puppy crate a must, puppy play pen, and I start leaving them on their own from day one too.
Build it up so never had separation anxiety.
I love my dogs but they are animals and my life does not revolve around them.
I do hope you do fall in love with Murphy.. She's gorgeous.. And the unconditional love of a dog is just wonderful

With my puppy I bought a cage and a run that goes around.the cage. I then when needed put pup inside but left cage door open and had food/water and toys in the space where run was. They sell them on eBay /amazon and are a life saver.

They'll come round. My two cats (about 10 yrs old) were spitting fury when we bought the puppy home. I think they didn't like that he was noisy and erratic. Once puppy realised he was bottom of the pecking order things improved. My Bengal and him used to do little nose/head bops every morning.

Your puppy looks adorable. Things will improve. Hang in there.

They will get used to each other. 1 week is nothing.