I think I’ve made a mistake getting a puppy

[MoosliMoo]

Hello,

Please don’t shout at me as I’m feeling really vulnerable!

We recently got a new puppy. My husband has wanted a dog for years but I’ve always said no as I think it’s cruel to have dogs if you’re constantly out of the house. As we used to be. Now with COVID we both work from home full time. Husband said why not. I couldn’t come up with a good answer.

I love walking and loved the idea of taking a dog for walks, but I’m not a natural dog person. I’m a massive cat person, and adore our cat. But I wanted to do something nice for husband - we’ve had a difficult year with infertility, failed IVF and of course the pandemic.

So we’re a week in, which I know is nothing, but I hate it. It’s not the puppy’s fault. She is very sweet and largely very good - just typical puppy behaviour. But it’s exhausting, the cat is understandably miserable and I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake. I would never, ever take it out on the puppy as she’s done nothing wrong, but I feel nothing for her but responsibility.

Does it get better? Does it get worse?! If the cat doesn’t adjust with time and love am I justified in saying the dog should go back to the breeder?

I’d love some advice. But please be gentle, I’m very teary right now!

Hi I have a cat & a puppy, cat was absolutely furious about my getting the puppy, he didn't purr at me for well over a week & stalked around glaring at me/puppy. That was mid september. Now they play & do this ....

This will honestly pass. We've had dogs all our life but I couldn't believe how much hard work a puppy is...clearly I'd forgotten over the 12 years since the last one!

It gets much better, you will look back and wonder why you ever thought like this. I have 3 cats and 2 dogs and with each new one its been hell for the first week or so. Cats are all fine and share the bed with the dogs. It does take time though.

I honestly think this is the puppy blues rather than a huge mistake. Get onto the puppy survival thread.

Genuinely it does get so much easier. Is your cat just “pissed off” of truly terrified?

It does get better, I promise!

I'd wanted a dog for about a decade and he still had me in tears when we brought him home. I was exhausted and I found it so stressful as I had him on my own everyday for a month while DH worked. He's nearly three now and honestly he's fantastic!

Stick with it, be consistent and check out the puppy threads on here for support. We also have three cats and they're fine now - the cats will adjust!

Our cat hated our puppy. We put a stair gate up so the cat had somewhere safe to escape to. They are currently curled up on the sofa together. It will get better.

The cat will biff the puppy and show her who’s boss soon enough. If she can get two humans catering to her every whim the dog will be no bother.

Obviously the cat will need a lot of treats to get her through this though, not normal treats, the ones more expensive than gold per gram ones.

Honestly, over time it will get so much better. We’re dog people and have had them all our lives, but every time we get a new pup I forget how awful it is at the start. It’s a lot of hard work to be gone with, but definitely worth it, then all of a sudden they stop chewing everything, weeing and pooing everywhere and crying in the night...::then comes the lovely dog walks and sofa snuggles that you are hoping for ❤️

The first few weeks are absolutely bloody awful. Give it a few months and you'll beat up anyone who tries to take it away from you. Hang in there.

When me and DH moved I , my cat used to be terrified of DH’s dog. One day we came home and my cat was out on the sofa and DH’s dog was cowering in the corner. So they sorted it out themselves. They’re both fine now and don’t bother each other.

I’m not a dog person though and I never really came round to liking, let alone loving DH’s dog. Through no fault of her own, I’m just not a dog person and get annoyed by the noise, the mess, the smell etc. So that part might not change if you’re not finding you have any feelings for the dog but they will sort their differences out.

I was you six months ago. OH had always wanted one and so did DD. Suddenly there was no reason not to so I went along with it, encouraged it, even! It was like bringing a newborn into the house. I've lost a lot of sleep and some lovely shoes along the way. I've spent a fortune and cleared up so much mess but our pup is honestly the best thing about 2020. Stick with it, you'll be fine!

PS our elderly cat still hates him but she's the boss!

Show us the puppy.

I'm a massive dog person, I love them so much but puppies are HARD.

They do get better and even I struggle then you get days like today where not only has her recall on our walk been amazing but she's now tucked up asleep in front of the fire.

It will get better.
Make sure the cat can get away from the dog, like a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs.

I was scared of dogs, then we 'had' to get one due to repeated attempted burglaries and living a bit off the beaten track. DH was working away, so she became my responsibility. I wanted to send her back, lots of tears, fed up of being nipped behind my knees.
Then I took her to training, and we slowly began to bond. She broke made me. Loved her so much and filling up thinking about her now.
It will change for you, hang on in there.
Oh, and you KNOW the rules, we HAVE to have a photo!

Need a photo of the sulking cat or she’ll be offended.

You are all so kind, thank you. I’m feeling much better already.

The cat is worried and sceptical but not cowering in fear. Just doesn’t want to come near the puppy, or have the puppy try to walk near her. Is spending most her time upstairs or outside, but keeps coming down and meowing as this is usually her sofa time with us. I am spending time upstairs with her - she spends the day in the spare room where I work - and lovebombing her with dreamies.

And, to give the people want they want, meet Murphy. I’ve learned the hard way not to let her sit on my lap any time she wants!

• [Sorry, folks - pic now removed at OP's request]

For balance, please meet Moos.

• [Pic now removed at OP's request]

Hello Murphy!
Love those ears. Ooooooh you cutie.

Each time I've had a puppy (lots of dogs here!) I have felt like I've had a baby, lots of sleepless nights and emotional breakdowns (me, not the puppy!) However, dogs do mature quicker than a toddler so be patient, the best is yet to come

Both of them are gorgeous ❤️

I had the puppy blues for months and that was with me being the instigator for getting the puppy after wanting one for over 20 years.

I thought it was the biggest mistake of my life. My DH kept asking if I wanted to return him but I didn't because I had faith that the adult dog would be the one I dreamt about.

He is now 4 and is the most loved, spoilt dog snuggled up between DH and I.

We aren't all lying when we say puppy blues is real. Keep putting one foot forward each day and despite ups and downs it will get better until you realise they have worked their way into your home and heart.

Oh, I've got cat and dog envy, both are beautiful💕