Dog

[Flowerpot26]

My dog makes me want to scream! We love her so much but some days I don't like her, she just 8, had her since a puppy, I think she was prob abit spolit by us which I don't think is a bad thing but she's harder work now than ever.

We have a 2 year old she kept her distance from the start, fine bit sad that she didnt want to be near but whatever made her comfortable, still gave her lots of attention. But we are 2 years down the line, she doesn't want to sit with us, even when I'm on my own barks to go out then barks to come in, doesn't listen, has ran off twice in the last month, safe in our feilds but still not like her. I'm just finding her harder then my toddler, barks if I'm telling my toddler no or to stop somthing or even if we're playing loudly. We're now we're expecting a second and I'm just thinking she's going to be worse. I've spoke to the vet, got her a apitail collar, uped her walked when really I'd just like to sit down, I don't think she's jealous really and neither does the vet. I think she's in a mood, she's a border collie, I need to make this a happy place as I don't want my toddler seeing me getting annoyed with my dog and thinking it's normal.

We have a 2 year old she kept her distance from the start - good.

she doesn't want to sit with us - why does she need to sit with you? Does she has a comfy bed? Not all dogs are clingy.

barks to go out then barks to come in - let her out. If she barks, she comes straight back in. If she barks to go out, you ignore her.

doesn't listen- specifically doesn't listen to recall or to any instruction?

has ran off twice in the last month - then she needs to be on lead at all times.

1. How much exercise does she get?
2. How much mental stimulation does she get? Collies are clever and working dogs. She need brain training toys, puzzle feeders i.e Nina ottoman, kong wobbler, snuffle mats etc
3. Specifically, what is making her hard work?

Great advice and a huge YES to number 2! This is a bright dog and needs to be kept active both in brain and body.

Can you take her to flyball or agility? Would she prefer to be outside more during the day in a secure area?x

I third the mental stimulation suggestion.

As well as upping this at home could you also take her to some sort of agility (or similar) training. Do something with her that will mentally tore her out and simultaneously strengthen your bond.

You have a border collie. They are extremely intelligent, sensitive dogs. Are you working her in any way? She will need a lot of mental stimulation to keep from getting into trouble. She can probably sense that you are pregnant as well, some dogs, especially bitches, react quite extremely to their owners becoming pregnant. They usually revert back to normal when the baby is born.

Some of your complaints are odd. You are lucky a border collie is ignoring your toddler rather than herding him. Keep the shouting to a minimum, especially if angry, she is sensitive. Throw some treats her way when you are playing with the toddler to make positive associations, or give her a bone to keep her occupied.

I have a border collie too, I don't find them a clingy Velcro breed at all.

My girl has gotten less and less clingy/affectionate the older she's got, she likes a hug, yes she loves a proper squeezy hug! when I come in, she occasionally likes a short snuggle in the evening.
That's about it..
The rest of the time she's sleeping or out walking or playing with her toys.

Are you sure she's actually unhappy?

I don't really see much in your op that would suggest she is?
Unless she was massively clingy before?

Re the running off, her hearing may be going.
Mine is near the same age and her hearing doesn't seem to be quite what it was.

Also, mental stimulation/more exercise isn't always a good thing.
The breed is easily overstimulated.
Certainly mine gets quite unpleasant if I overdo it with training or exciting high adrenaline things like the ball thrower.
Gets whiny and paces and takes a while to calm down.

Thanks for the replies, she was never over clingy before but she use to be present. she doesn't come and meet us if we come in have to hunt for her in the house, I worry that she feels pushed out or something but I can't do anymore. I'll get a few more stimulating toys, she has her kong, and a puzzle, but prob cud do with more. It's hard to explain how I feel she's hard work she just is, she does work we have sheep, I know she clever, she can't round sheep up all the time tho, and any walks that we do everyone comes back stressed, she pulls on the lead now so when I'm out with the pram it's so hard. I hate shouting at her I love her so much, and then feel guilty, but I do believe she knows what she is doing, and when she runs ahead and rounds up sheep when I don't want her too 🙄! I've got a toddler in toe I don't want her on the lead at home really the the baby is on reins. I'm really trying to please everyone all the time. Sorry just read that back and I realise it sounds confusing. I will try with more toys. Tried agility she didn't take to it. I'm now sahm so I don't know this is all so difficult. I've just given her a bath as she was filthy and she's having a rest she has 3 lovely beds around the house but obv only wants the sofa (when we're not the room mainly).

We do have a large enclosed outside kennel that has never been used. I feel its to late to start using it now aswell, she would just bark and I don't want her on her own.

Does she look depressed?
Suddenly sleeping the whole day away when she wasn't before?
Still excited for walks etc?

Only you know her but honestly, I think I'd only be worried if she's looking depressed, had a complete personality change etc.
You say she doesn't seem jealous of the little one.
Or fearful?

She's getting old, she just wants some peace and quiet away from a noisy child would be my assumption.

Mine also is not great on lead.

If she is working, just me but I wouldn't bother with extra brain toys, unless you specifically think she is bored?
I'll bet she is perfectly fulfilled if she's busy out herding and just wants some peace and quiet in the house.

But obviously I don't know your dog.

Shouting at her when she pulls on the lead won’t help. Have you tried clicking her when she’s walking nicely and treating her. Most borders pick up new behaviors really quickly. I had one learn the ‘leave it’ exercise after the first repetition, he was amazing.

If you don’t want her in the sofa, reward her for being off it or just shut the door of that room.

“She knows what she is doing” not really. She’s not doing it to piss you off, she’s doing it because the behaviour is rewarding. You have to make yourself more interesting.

If she's not trying to piss me off, then why is she suddenly pulling, I say heal, do treats, she only stops when I'm about to lose my shit and the pram is steering into the wall or a the road. She knows how to heal I did puppy classes when she was little, she's a trained sheep dog, she knows completely what she is doing. I've had 6 years of walks mainly well behaved, but this just makes me not want to bother and just have her off the lead in feilds. But it's such a waste she cus do so much more with us.

If she's not trying to piss me off, then why is she suddenly pulling, I say heal, do treats, she only stops when I'm about to lose my shit and the pram is steering into the wall or a the road. She knows how to heal I did puppy classes when she was little, she's a trained sheep dog, she knows completely what she is doing. I've had 6 years of walks mainly well behaved, but this just makes me not want to bother and just have her off the lead in feilds. But it's such a waste she cus do so much more with us

😂😂
Sorry but that is my collie down to a tee too!
She knows exactly what 'close' (heel) means but sometimes she just thinks no, I don't want to walk next to you today.
Until she senses the rising irritation in my voice when she'll get straight back.
I often only have to say 'I'll put your lead back on..' and she'll be back heeling.
They know.

They are such a blooming clever dog!!

Sorry OP - no advice, but I completely understand.

Love them to bits!!

She sounds like a naughty child. Maybe she really is craving your attention but without your little one. I know the tendency is to anthropomorphise dogs, but I think they do get jealous, especially if sensitive. Maybe it’s just trial and error finding the right thing for her. That’s no help at all, sorry!

Thanks I think she must be jealous, as thinking about it, I just had her in the shower and she was fine! Which would be unusual for her shower time! Ugh animals. I'm going to have to think of things but when there is only one of me and the baby and the one on the way and a sulky dog and a cat that poos in the bath! Give me strength! Thanks again for your thoughts x

I doubt she’s jealous. She’s not a human. She’s just used to more of your time and energy.
Mainly well behaved doesn’t mean she is well trained. Dogs need regular reinforcement.
She sounds bored.
And the cat unhappy.

She sounds bored
We all have to be bored sometimes 🤷‍♀️
You can't entertain a dog 24/7.
Nor should you imo.
She is being walked, she is herding sheep, she doesn't appear (though no one knows for sure) to be jealous or nervous of the little boy.
And the cat unhappy
I agree, the cat does sound unhappy.

She’s a working dog. So when she’s out she just wants to work. She’s not going to instantly be a cuddly, calm lapdog when she’s not working.

I really think you're slightly over anthropomorphizing her... but I understand your frustration.

Have you considered getting a good trainer in to help? Surely your vet can recommend a good local one?

She’s a working dog. So when she’s out she just wants to work
True.
She’s not going to instantly be a cuddly, calm lapdog when she’s not working
If she has been well bred and well trained she should have an 'off switch' and be more than able to relax when not working.

Have you had a working breed dog from working lines yourself?

I frequently find that other dog owners like to give me breed specific advice about how I should look after my collie.

Interestingly they never have had Collies, nor have any plans to get one, yet feel they know how to best advise
Most irritating.

Especially when their (wrong) advice actually makes my dog neurotic and hard to handle and from speaking to other collie owners that's not uncommon.

My cat is not unhappy, her litter tray was in the bathroom as we had another cat,so they had a tray each, sadly lost him, so I slowly moved her tray down stairs, she uses it sometimes but thinks her bathroom is upstairs it will just take time.

The barking to go in and out and the lead pulling sound a pain. If they were solved would the rest be ok and if so maybe getting a 1-1 trainer with experience with your breed to help you with might be the way forward.

Leave a litter tray where she wants to go.
@frostedviolets yes she needs an off switch. But she may need to be taught where it is. Good breeding doesn’t guarantee good behaviour. That requires training.

yes she needs an off switch. But she may need to be taught where it is
Many of them do need teaching it, perhaps I misunderstood what you were trying to say.

I interpreted your response to my comment about boredom to mean that the dogs needed pretty much 24/7 entertainment because they wouldn't be capable of just chilling and lounging about after work?

I would disagree with that.

Any good working dog absolutely should be able to chill and relax after work.

They'll need it teaching but I think the ability is in part inherited aswell.

Some poorly bred dogs seem to be so high strung they fall apart if not worked pretty much constantly.
I think you'd struggle to teach them to relax.

Good breeding doesn’t guarantee good behaviour
No, but it plays a bigger role than most people realise I think.