Am I doing this right? (Puppy at night)

[ziggiestardust]

Hi everyone, our new puppy is crated in the living room and the first night she went right through (we left doors open so we could hear crying but not a peep). Last night she woke crying at 1:45 and I took her straight outside and she went to the toilet immediately. I was sure to not make fuss or give eye contact as advised on here. I then carried her back inside but whilst she snuggled into the crate, she cried when I left. This went on for around 20 minutes and was really quite loud. As we have neighbours I really couldn’t let this continue, besides which none of our house could sleep through that.
I went and slept next to her and she settled within moments.
Have I just created a bad association? Like, she cries and gets attention? She was quiet and settled the entire time I was there; she did snuffle around quite a bit and look at me expectantly a few times when I moved but that was it.

I posted on here last night saying she had been sick yesterday afternoon, so it’s quite possible she just wanted breakfast (I swapped over with DH at 5 as I had to leave for an early meeting; he is WFH today. Not heard from him yet so I guess no news is good news!) and felt unsettled due to that. If this happens again tonight do I do the same? Do I pre empt this and start out sleeping next to her?

I realise I’m overthinking this, I just want to do the best I possibly can

I think most people do sleep downstairs with their new puppy for the first week or so. I didn’t but mine had my older dog in same room. I can’t remember what we did with the first dog!

I would say you’re probably better off planning to sleep on sofa or wherever than coming down in the middle of the night when puppy cries though as a) puppy won’t be upset waking up and finding themselves all alone and b) as you said you won’t create that “crying in the night means mum will come down and see me” association.

Also, we’ve been trying to keep her awake in the evenings but it’s just impossible! She snoozes in her little soft bed near the couch between about 4:30-7:30 PM... this is despite her napping during the day too! She has zoomies and we play loads to wear her out between about 7:30-8:30 but by 9 she is crashing HARD. I’m pleased because that means she’s holding her bladder for around 5 hours (given last night’s 1:45 wake up), but I’m worried we’re not giving her enough stimulation... that said; when she naps in the evening she is out for the count, proper floppy puppy! If you shake her awake she might lazily open one eye, sigh at you and then roll over.

I wouldn't try and keep them awake as you will end up with a tired over stimulated zoomie (probably bitey as well when they got bigger) puppy. Let them sleep as they need a lot of sleep as a puppy.

I didn't sleep in the same room but I did get up each time he wouldn't settle (after a few minutes). Each time I would take him outside even if he didn't want to pee and then straight back again. It was pee or sleep but nothing else at night.

Some people sleep next to the puppy for a few weeks and do a gradual retreat. Others go cold turkey with the crying.

Pick the best option for you and your puppy.

I went cold turkey. It's a hard cycle to break once you start.

I have nothing constructive to say 🙄 I took broke after an hour and took pupper up to bed, then into bed after another hour of her crying/scrabbling next to the bed 13yrs ago. She finally went into her basket 3yrs later when we got 2nd dog 😳 On the plus side new pup settled straight away. We did the crate, blankets over it, radio on, Teddy bear technique (older dog completely ignored him!).

Do you really think they need 18-22 hours of sleep like google says? It just seems like so much! I’m also worried about overstimulation too.

Bitey how long do you think it took him to settle at night using that technique?

We're now redoing the full cycle as old dog recently passed away, and other dog is bereft 😭 A teddy has really helped things as it's actually a wheat microwaveable one. We heat it up and he runs straight to it at bedtime (we're clearly going to end up rehoming another soon dog though 🤔🐕).

It's a long time ago now (BiteyDog is 3) so my memory is hazy although I still remember clearly how tired I was.

I think I did that for a couple of weeks then he was ok but still couldn't hold his pee through the night (and wouldn't cry to let me know) so then I moved to using an alarm to get us up and him toileted then he would go straight back to sleep.

My husband just messaged and said after I left, she didn’t make any more sound. Maybe I should try the rapid return style resettling then if she wakes again tonight

I need the teddy! Link please? Do you put anything else in chewable so they don’t munch on the teddy?

This is the one I got for our pup www.amazon.co.uk/SmartPetLove-Snuggle-Puppy-Behavioral-Golden/dp/B000S753WK/ref=asc_df_B000S753WK/?hvlocphy=9046433&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=309876561345&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-353377039574&hvrand=11339950389896009217

it worked well. 4 years on she prefers a human so sleeps on beds with whichever available human has space.

Another cold turkey here I'm afraid although I did get up at 5.30am for the first few weeks.

We had pups crate next to our bed. Would take him straight outside if he woke then straight back to his crate.
We gradually moved his crate closer to the door then eventually into another room after 3 weeks.
He occasionally struggled to settle as wanted on the bed next to us. I would shhh him and after a minute or two he would settle to sleep

One of ours was like this, sleeping by her made her worse (she fully expected play time and went crazy inside her crate if we were in the room with her, regardless of how much we ignored her). Another of ours we started sleeping by him but the second we moved even half a foot away from the crate, he would cry and yap so we were struggling to do a gradual removal. Eventually we decided cold turkey was the only way for both, each time I was dreading it but we got a nice crate cover, a soft toy thing with a microwaveable pouch and heartbeat sounds, made sure the crate wasn’t too big and left a radio on low. Not a peep from them. We did however set alarms for every 2 hours throughout the night at first, in order to preempt toilet needs so they didn’t get used to barking and someone appearing.

Sleep wise, all of ours have slept for around 18 hours per day I’d say. Puppies need way more sleep than you’d imagine. One of ours would fight sleep as much as he could, I don’t think it was a coincidence that he was the ‘naughtiest’ and hardest to train. I wouldn’t try and keep her awake.