Giving up 12 week old puppy

[Ridusofyourstupidity]

Please please be kind.

I’ve been quite honest on here about losing my last puppy suddenly to anaphylactic shock and getting our new puppy a few weeks later. Now I’m not sure I can keep her due to her behaviour. It goes beyond anything I’ve experienced. She is 12 weeks old, weighs over 14kg and can reach chest height when she jumps against me.

She is repeatedly attacking me on a near constant basis with seemingly no reason. She will be chewing on a toy, lying down and get up to lunge and jump at me and bite my stomach, legs and arms while growling if I’m standing in the room even if I haven’t moved to draw attention to myself. If I ask for a sit or similar to distract her she’ll snap at me and ignore the request, although she does know ‘Sit’, ‘Down’, ‘Touch’ and will give both paws. When I have to carry her in from the garden she’ll growl and snap at my face. She is a large breed who isn’t meant to do stairs so this is unavoidable.

I can’t enter the room without her attacking me, she’ll bite the backs of my legs or jump up at my side to bite my arm. She’ll try and mount my leg while biting me if I’m still Leaving the room does nothing, she’ll try and block me leaving and she’ll continue when I return, even if calm. Toys do nothing as she will ignore them to jump and continue biting higher. Or she’ll pull my clothing like a tug toy while growling. I’ve tried every kind of toy but she let them go, snarl and dart under them to get back to biting me.

It is either very rough play or something more but it’s unmanageable. I’m now having to leave her alone in the kitchen as I can’t be in there with her, even when calm she will without warning launch at me. I keep trying to go in but it soon becomes too much as she doesn’t stop trying to get to me to bite. 15 mins is the most I’ve lasted with her ignoring toys and being latched on to me.

She’s incredibly difficult to walk even with no distractions as she’ll still attack me and bite me while we’re walking. She refuses all treats on a walk (I’ve tried several) and will pull, be incredibly hyper, running from left to right, and lunge and bite when I stay still.

I’ve done everything we covered in the puppy classes with my last puppy with her from the day we brought her home and none of this has made any difference. She has a marker word and all other commands are the same as before so everyone is on the same page. I’m not sure I’m going to make it through until Friday when I have a private training session booked. I’m utterly miserable and defeated.

Wow. Why has he changed his mind? After she went for you in the car?

In which case get the professionals in ASAP and determine a date in the future when you will both assess again.

I think it’s more sadness at losing a dog rather than losing her specifically. He grew up with dogs like her.

I’ve sat him down and straight out asked him if he feels she’s right for us. He admits she’s not and feels it’s the right thing to return her but I can see he’s still really struggling with the decision.

If you’re not the right home for her then it would be selfish to keep her. I understand he feels awful letting her go but you need to do what’s right for everyone.
(And I am normally the one banging on about not giving up on an animal ever! )

I totally agree. I will admit that when she went in the car it was the first time I was actually quite scared. She went through two thick sleeves and that was the only thing that stopped her breaking my skin. She kept snarling, showing her teeth, lunging forward to bite and when she couldn’t reach my arms she went for my legs.

He agrees it’s right but what was so hard already has been made harder because I know he wants to keep her.

You poor thing OP. The attack in the car sounds like way more than puppy Bitey ness

This is going to sound awful but in your shoes I’d consider not sending her back to the breeder as she sounds like an accident waiting to happen. I wouldn’t trust the breeder to responsibly re-home her if I were honest. As drastic as it sounds I’d consider getting her put to sleep by your own vet.

It would be incredibly distressing and it’s not your fault but it really sounds like there’s something not quite right with your poor puppy.

Unmumsnetty hugs for you

You are going to have sadness with your first puppy and now sadness with this one. You both need to be on the same page so no blaming each other.

Are you meant to be returning her today?

Oh no OP. Can your partner not see how important your safety is?

When are you meant to be returning her?

I prefer large breed dogs, but I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis. When I went looking for a dog, upper most in my mind was it needed to be a dog I could hold safely when my hands were bad. It also needed to be a dog that could be taught recall, as I can’t walk that far.

Equally I didn’t want a small dog.

Is this puppy reacting to the RA in some way?

I ended up with a Romanian Rescue dog, who has a damaged hind leg. We limp along together. Probably the only un breakable rule I have every had with her is no using her teeth in anger. I couldn’t cope with a dog I was scared of. She is a thief, a con artist, and sheds constantly. All of those I can cope with. Biting I couldn’t.

This sounds like the wrong dog for you. Don’t give up. There are plenty of other dogs desperate for a home.

Jeez, if my husband decided he wanted to keep a dog after ilall that, id be thinking he didnt give a fuck about me.
Honestly, I really dont get some dog people. I mean, I love our dogs, but I read so many people having so much damn sympathy for aggressive dangerous dogs that they just would not have for any other species, even humans. Even children.
What the fuck is up with that??

Just to add, my puppy had some issues I had to deal with and I was close to returning him a number of times as I didn’t know if I could give him what he needed.

In the end I persevered and he’s still on the neurotic side but very loving. I always said that there were any issues with aggression there’s no way I would have been able to keep going with him.

She is a thief, a con artist, and sheds constantly

Aren't they all? I think they must secretly learn this!

OP I know it's hard but your partner needs to put you first. The dog can't be happy either as things stand, but most importantly you do not deserve to be attacked in your own home.

Persevere OP and return today if not for your sake then hers. The older and more aggressive she gets the more likely it is she will be destroyed. She's not the right dog for you. She's showing some fairly severe aggression which would make me think this is an inherited temperament issue. When you say "dogs like these" I'm thinking he doesn't have a scooby and thinks all large breeds are the same. A Spanish mastiff is not an English mastiff. A Spanish mastiff is a very serious guarding breed. It's not going to cut it to treat it like a docile giant breed. Getting a mix from a clueless gumtree breeder was a huge gamble. Your safety has to come first. His head needs a wobble and he needs a lot more education on dog breeds and choosing a breeder before he tries again.

Thats totally beyond puppy behaviour and very dangerous for any but the most qualified in her behaviour/breed.

I would also be struggling terribly to return a dog, but its only going to get worse, and is getting worse.

It doesn't really matter that he's changed his mind does it. Its all arranged, and the recent atrack proves you are right in doing this.

Shame you cancelled the behavourist, or that you couldn't access the trainer that you got your experience with years ago. I imagine this would be exactly his type of challenge?

The behaviourist I did the course with and who I contacted are the same person, he was willing to work with us. My partner made the decision that we should return her earlier this week after the vets had sent a referral through to him.

I never cancelled anything except a session with the puppy trainer because that was meant to be yesterday and we’d already contacted the breeder to return her.

Ah, sorry, I missed that earlier in the thread.

She goes back today then?

Yes, that was the cancellation I was referring to.

An assessment by this trainer may have helped your case also. It could be considered evidence, especially if this breeder is producing poorly bred puppies that are a risk to people and to their own lives and wellbeing.

It might have helped you come to a place of easier acceptance to move on to another dog, as well as given your dh some professional input about keeping a dog with such behaviour.

Yes, I’m leaving in a minute. I feel completely heartbroken.

The trainer had already said the behaviour was beyond her experience.

It doesn’t matter now anyway

OP at this point in time you have to have faith that it's the right thing to do no matter all the 'what if's' and 'buts' that you and your DP think.

I do think you both then need to take some time out to grieve your first pup properly and now this pup. Good luck.

Thank you. We really won’t ever get another dog.

I have to say I do think you’ve really tried here but this does sound beyond normal behaviour. I do hope time helps you see that this was a very difficult situation and you do think about getting a dog in the future as you do sound like you love dogs.

Well, it’s all gone wrong.....

What's happened ?