Giving up 12 week old puppy

[Ridusofyourstupidity]

Please please be kind.

I’ve been quite honest on here about losing my last puppy suddenly to anaphylactic shock and getting our new puppy a few weeks later. Now I’m not sure I can keep her due to her behaviour. It goes beyond anything I’ve experienced. She is 12 weeks old, weighs over 14kg and can reach chest height when she jumps against me.

She is repeatedly attacking me on a near constant basis with seemingly no reason. She will be chewing on a toy, lying down and get up to lunge and jump at me and bite my stomach, legs and arms while growling if I’m standing in the room even if I haven’t moved to draw attention to myself. If I ask for a sit or similar to distract her she’ll snap at me and ignore the request, although she does know ‘Sit’, ‘Down’, ‘Touch’ and will give both paws. When I have to carry her in from the garden she’ll growl and snap at my face. She is a large breed who isn’t meant to do stairs so this is unavoidable.

I can’t enter the room without her attacking me, she’ll bite the backs of my legs or jump up at my side to bite my arm. She’ll try and mount my leg while biting me if I’m still Leaving the room does nothing, she’ll try and block me leaving and she’ll continue when I return, even if calm. Toys do nothing as she will ignore them to jump and continue biting higher. Or she’ll pull my clothing like a tug toy while growling. I’ve tried every kind of toy but she let them go, snarl and dart under them to get back to biting me.

It is either very rough play or something more but it’s unmanageable. I’m now having to leave her alone in the kitchen as I can’t be in there with her, even when calm she will without warning launch at me. I keep trying to go in but it soon becomes too much as she doesn’t stop trying to get to me to bite. 15 mins is the most I’ve lasted with her ignoring toys and being latched on to me.

She’s incredibly difficult to walk even with no distractions as she’ll still attack me and bite me while we’re walking. She refuses all treats on a walk (I’ve tried several) and will pull, be incredibly hyper, running from left to right, and lunge and bite when I stay still.

I’ve done everything we covered in the puppy classes with my last puppy with her from the day we brought her home and none of this has made any difference. She has a marker word and all other commands are the same as before so everyone is on the same page. I’m not sure I’m going to make it through until Friday when I have a private training session booked. I’m utterly miserable and defeated.

She lost it again in the car on the way to the breeder. So I spoke to the breeder and said I felt a rescue facility would be better.

So she told me to either bring her back or have her put down.

She then accused me of ‘overtraining’ her and not letting her be a puppy. Told me she was disgusted at how I’d clearly caused all these issues and wanted to dump her in a rescue. Not a chance she was going back there.

So puppy is safe, in my kitchen until I can find something that’s in her best interests.

Ok ignore the breeder. It will be hard not to be hurt by her comments but her comments don't matter at all.

Now it's down to you to decide how to proceed. I would escalate the behaviourist and advice from vets on whether to look for a rescue (never tried but from posts on here I think it can be hard to find a suitable place).

some puppies are completely freaked out by car journeys. Was she in a crate when you travelled?
If I was the breeder and attached to the puppy I would not want to hear that the dog was going to a rescue because new owner had deemed her uncontrollable and dangerous, until I had myself assessed the situation. Maybe with her siblings she will be different, maybe she reacts differently in her original setting. I can see why the breeder would want her back and it isn't just about money.

Giving her to a rescue means she might be waiting in a new place before going to a whole new family, more change - why would that necessarily be a good way to deal with the problem? Surely the breeder is the original owner and that is your first point of call - after all she already has the mum.

Any breeder who tells me to put down one of their puppies is not getting that puppy back. End of.

Do you have a contract that says you have to return her?
You haven’t caused anything by “overtraining”!
She may be safe but are you OP?

This situation is a nightmare but I refuse to make it worse for my puppy by taking her back to someone who clearly cares or knows less than I do. Which I admit knowledge wise isn’t as much as I need to know, but it’s still more than she knows.

But she might be a different dog at the breeder? Why would keeping her at yours, and waiting for a rescue, which is an uncertain future for her as you don't know whether she has even got a place be necessarily right for her?
I can see that the breeder's reaction is v emotive, but if she is willing to take her back why would a rescue be the better option? As it is, she is going to go to her grave convinced that there is something wrong with your training rather than the puppy's temperament, she is an experienced large dog breed owner is she really likely to have no idea about what the puppy needs?

Oh god! That read I didn’t care, I bloody do care!!

The kitchen has a stair gate and she’s happy with the crate. We can manage to keep us all safe.

Or the breeder might sell her on for a quick buck? No one can say for sure.

I’m not taking the chance. She told me to have her put down. No breeder who cares does that. My dog is my responsibility, which I was willing to hand back to her because of all this. I didn’t want to just chuck the dog out and turn tail and run. I care enough to make the right choices for her and I believe that isn’t it.

But she said the putting down thing because she was upset. Rescues aren't these magical places which can solve every behavioural problem, they are run by volunteers who are likely to have the same issues as you. This dog has a home with the breeder, she didn't want to have the puppy put down, she is just using it as a threat to show you the strength of her feelings - you have basically fallen out because you are saying the puppy is not what she claimed it to be, and she disputes there is anything wrong. It could be straightforward personality issue between you and the puppy, the breeder cannot know this until she sees the puppy again.

Sorry to say OP I think the most responsible thing you can do is have her put to sleep. You can't keep her, the breeder sounds irresponsible to put it mildly and I would think any rescue centre would have great difficulty in rehoming her with her history and she will just spends forever in kennels leading to even worse behavioural issues. I understand it must be devastating for you but I struggle to see what other option you have.

Run through the practicalities.

Does you contract say you must return? No idea whether this can be enforced.

I think rescues tend to be overflowing so can you cope with keeping her for many weeks? If so get the behaviourist in ASAP to help.

Nettle, I’m not arguing further. I feel it would be irresponsible to return her to that breeder. Easy, yes. I could wash my hands of it all then and never look back because ‘I’d done the right thing.’

But for the dog that is still my responsibility, I owe her more than that.

Why did you think rescue would be preferable to going back to breeder? From what you have said, a rescue would struggle to rehome your dog - many rescues have a lot of large breeds which are hard to rehome as people are wary of them.

No, I didn’t sign anything.

I’m waiting to hear back from 3 rescues and will call the behaviourist tomorrow morning.

I think you did the right thing for your puppy today. I do. The breeder sounds a disgrace.

I don’t know how you proceed but please try the expert before deciding.

I can only speak about my experience but I did end up with a happy loving dog instead of an attack version. I hope that with help you can have the same.

I’m too emotive to be helpful. I know that. I’m hoping that you find the best solution for your girl. And for you.

Maybe you can keep her. I am still at a loss to understand how she could attack you in the car if she was in a crated situation. Is there any possibilty at all of finding a puppy or young dog for her to play with of the right size to give her the biting/rough play that she so clearly wants to engage in, and for her to learn bite inhibition? I had such a bitey dog (whom I got at 12 weeks incidentally), and this has been the key to channelling his instincts rather than repressing them.

I think you are a very good owner - you are devoted to this dog and want the best for her, and you can make this work if you feel the breeder and rescue are the worse options to staying with you. It is like that bit in Baby Boom where Diane Keaton realises that the baby will go to a horrid couple if she is adopted, unsuitable as her own life is to rear a child. Maybe you are the best owner for this dog if you can get through this stage. She is still only 12 weeks.

Oh for God’s sake, fine. I made the wrong choice again.

So I should have passed her back to someone who wasn’t prepared to admit that just maybe there was a problem that was out of my control but would rather accuse me of destroying this puppy by overtraining, insult me and harass me until I end up blocking her.

OP step away for a bit. Right now it's all very emotional.

Pursue the RL help and take it from there.

You sound like a good and responsible dog owner and I’m sorry things have gone so wrong for you and the puppy.

It sounds like you have done everything you can and that this puppy has traits or problems which nobody could foresee. All puppies are individuals and no training method will work on 100% of dogs. In the same way it’s possible to have a child who has behavioural, learning or mental health needs through no fault of the parenting it’s possible to have a dog with these problems too through no fault of your own. Maybe it’s something that can be trained out of the dog with the right specialist support, but it’s possible it’s not and it’s reasonable that you’re not in a position to keep hoping things will get better when the dog is displaying aggressive behaviour and when it’s getting worse. You have to put your safety first and there will be nothing worse for you or your dog if this behaviour leads to her seriously injuring you.

I hope you’re able to find her an alternative home which can meet her behavioural needs and where she can be supported to control her impulses and stay calm. Good luck.

There are no wrong choices here, OP. Just you doing the best you can - which is probably a damn sight better than most would do in your shoes.

Didn’t come from Jersey did it?

No, she didn’t.

I'm beginning to find this thread weird.

On one hand a dog that bites and attacks for no reason and has to be rehomed according to OP

Now reluctance to give back to the breeder, but will rehome to rescue - there are loads of rescues places for aggressive dogs! not.

And now OP is able to keep everyone safe in the original home

Umm hides thread and moves on