Does anybody else regret getting a dog?

[MsVestibule]

We thought long and hard before we got a puppy. What would be the best breed for us, how will we look after it during the day etc.

It really hasn't worked out as I'd hoped.

What we didn't realise was that we would get a puppy who chews EVERYTHING, even now, at 10 months old. He is mainly confined to the breakfast room/kitchen and one of us has to watch him ALL the time.

The chewing means he has to be in his crate from 8.30-3.30 4 days a week, although I come home at lunchtime and walk him for half an hour, but it's still not ideal for him.

A retired, local family member enthusiastically volunteered to walk him every day (we wouldn't have actually got a dog if they hadn't volunteered) but that fell through extremely quickly 🙄. TBH, this has been our biggest issue - I resent that so much of my (previously spare) time goes on working later than I should so I can take a lunch hour to dash home and walk him.

What we (very, very foolishly) didn't consider was what we would do if we wanted to go somewhere for more than 3.5 hours. Our lives are not quite as dog friendly as we thought they were and we just have to accept that if we want to go somewhere, we pay for doggy daycare. Expensive, but manageable.

I suppose I'm just fed up that our entire lives seem to revolve around him. Honestly, I know this is all our fault. I had my reservations anyway but our DCs were so keen and I have to admit, I was too.

I'm not quite sure what I hope to achieve from this thread. Has anybody else felt the way we do at this stage and then gone on to fall madly in love with their dog? Or do I just accept that this is the way I will feel for the next 12 years?

He is a really beautiful boy and does get a lot of attention and affection so he's not neglected (apart from the crate thing), I promise!

What are your thoughts on doggy day care?

In fairness, mine are created for 8 hours/day in my office two days a week. They sleep the full time and are let out for a walk at lunch time however they can see me and are crated next to each other so have company 24/7. They watch everyone going about their business and also tell me if they need a wee etc, I am also around to replace toys if they are bored which they almost never are as they are asleep
I also do not crate them at night as that’s too much for me, yes they have chewed things but have almost grown out of it now (youngest is 18m) so I just rode the storm until the phase passed.

Leaving a dog for that amount of time with nothing to look at and nobody to speak to them is cruel IMO, not the crate itself.

I absolutely do not understand why dogs are the only living beings that are expected to have amazing lives and to have ALL of their wants and needs catered for?! We as humans work hard all our lives, experience hardship, loss, difficulties etc etc and life may often be very difficult at times for most people. Why are why is it that some obsessive people expect that DOGS to live a life or pure joy and always always have all of their needs met? I just don't get it. People are regularly told to send dog to doggy bloody daycare. That costs a bloody fortune. Many many people can't afford to even send their kids to daycare never mind the bloody dog!!
I have read so many threads were dog owners are bashed despite doing their very best. I firmly believe that many people do actually rehome animals because they are bashed and made to feel that what they do is never enough. Think before you bash people, who's to say the next home is going to be better. Expectations are ridiculous. Doggy day care is just another money spinner for daycare owners and all you mugs are forking our ridiculous amounts for a smelly mut

We had 2 dogs,same breed. First died aged 11 at home. The second was an entirely different character, our life had changed and places where you could take dogs had reduced. After 5 years we rehomed to a retired couple who gave our dog the good life she deserved. My children were early teens and understood, had they been younger we would have asked the couple could they visit. My husband now says his only regret is that we didn't rehome sooner.

My dog was very happy with her new family and they adored her.

lovinglifesomuch are you having a stroke? No one forced the OP to get a dog. Having gotten one she now has issues because the dog is stressed and chewing, that is why other solutions are offered. If you commit to owning an animal, you commit to meeting its needs and wants - that's because it is a living being you are responsible for. If you do not get that, then buy a stuffed animal (with a pot pouri insert for that extra special smell experience).

OP, the issue isn't really the fact that he's in a crate - it's that you're leaving him home on his own for far too long. He's alone for seven hours a day - that's a lot for most adult dogs, let alone a young pup. I'm not surprised he chews and gets destructive - he's bored and wants company. You're not going to cure that by leaving him with frozen kongs I'm afraid.

If he was crated for say, 2-3 hours in the morning, collected by a walker at 11am, and brought home at 1pm or so (so an hours walk plus travel time), then back in his crate until 3.30pm he'd be much happier - and would probably sleep most of the day. You'd then find the chewing eased up massively.

At 13 months mine only chews when he's bored or needs a walk. It's basically his way of saying "I need something to do now" - if you're out all day you can't provide him with any stimulation for huge chunk of his waking hours, nor can you read the signs that he's upset, anxious, frustrated or bored.

As an aside, please don't leave him alone with any of those puzzle games that have removable bits - if he's a heavy chewer all he'll do is rip them off and eat them if you're not there to supervise him.

Doggy day care is just another money spinner for daycare owners and all you mugs are forking our ridiculous amounts for a smelly mut

Many many people can't afford to even send their kids to daycare never mind the bloody dog!!

lovinglifesomuch honestly you sound very bitter. It's almost as if you are angry that people choose to spend money on a dog. Perhaps you can enlighten me as to what I should spend my money on instead as you seem to know better.

If people can't afford daycare and they work then perhaps get a goldfish rather than a dog. Or maybe expect the dog to be bored and chew and a pain in the arse but don't moan about it and ask for advice and then ignore all the sensible advice.

Your dog will chew coz it's board all I can say is if I was u I wud think about finding another home as it's not fair on the dog been left in a cage for that long I miss my dog I wish I cud have her bk in my arms she was fetched up as my baby girl but she is now over the rainbow bridge

OP i hope you are still reading....as your last post about the pen doesn't make it seem like you are understanding the problem. Im not having a go at you, I'm just trying to explain it so your poor pup can hopefully have a better life.

you cannot leave a 10 month old puppy for that long. I work PT too, when my dog was that young i arranged for 3 pop in visits a day, so he was never more than 2 hours without company. Plus he had the run of the downstairs, so loads more space than a crate. have you also considered he is probably teething? try some teething toys and gel, as it really helps. he will grow out of it, but you'll be left with other behavioural problems if you don't address these issues.

@lovinglifesomuch noone has to have a dog. If they choose to have one then they need to accept the costs involved.

A pen and some stimulation is a step in the right direction. However, your dog is going to need lots more than that, plenty of dogs wouldn't want to amuse themselves with a kong if their are at home alone and I suspect yours will be one of those as he is already at the stage of being distressed and unhappy at being left. Lots of posters have suggested using a dog walker daily or daycare. You haven't commented on that. Is it something you could do? Would you?

Wow, no wonder the poor dog wants to chew like crazy...he is bored out of his mind and not allowed out enough. He needs proper play and interactions with other dogs. The chewing gets less as they get older, but any dog would chew out of boredom or frustration if left to their own that many hours a day...and if you had done your research...you could have gotten a dog that does not require so much exercise...which would then be easier to lie around the house. For instance a mini dachound. We had two growing up and they never chewed much and they did not want to walk more then 10 mins 3 times a day (they were also let outside to pee in the garden so got out 2-3 additional times for that....

I absolutely do not understand why dogs are the only living beings that are expected to have amazing lives and to have ALL of their wants and needs catered for?!

I don't understand why someone would CHOOSE to get a dog (or any pet) knowing they could not give it an amazing life? What's the point? The joy for me IS in giving the dog an amazing life. His ongoing happiness and health is a major part of the enjoyment I get from him.

Getting an animal only to watch it have a sub-standard existence seems somewhat pointless and more of a waste of money than the other.

Of course, lives do change and sometimes unexpected circumstances mean owners have to compromise on how they keep the dog. What remains is that the owner chose the dog and thus have an obligation to do the very best they can. If that means adjusting their lives to make sure the dog is happy, that's the responsibility they took on. If that means rehoming the dog to give them a different chance, then making that choice is also part of the deal. Of course, a dog that is responsibility sourced would have to go back to the breeder or rescue charity it came from and so it is not such a 'roll of the dice' than it might first appear.

A dog doesn't care if you do your best. They don't allocate you points for effort. They need what they need. Doing your best but not giving them what they need is still going to result in problems for both dog and owner. Again, that's the deal a new owner signs up to. How much they need will vary by individual dog. Some dogs cope very well left alone for the day - even more so if the owners then spend lots of time outside those hours giving the dog a rich and fulfilling life. Some (many) dogs will not cope with this set up. It doesn't matter how much you want them to, if they cannot cope they cannot cope. At 10 months old this dog is clearly indicating they cannot cope with this and need more.

Have you tried things such as having your partner or yourself giving the dog a nice proper play in the park for 30 minutes in the morning off lead? That should tired the dog out, and then you could for example get one of those timer things that opens up after a couple hours of being home (when the dog wakes from nap and starts to get bored) so then has a kong inside it can chew? Then you come home and again take the dog out for another outing...and again have the timer thing to unlock an hour or two with another chew toy like a pig ear etc. Then when your children come home they can play with the dog and it can be take out again for another 30-45 mins walk/run around the park. To me, this sounds like proper stimulation and exercise that it could be more satisfied...you would also need to do some training etc as that also stimulates the dog.

I wouldn’t have children I couldn’t afford either

What’s the point in getting a dog and leaving it locked in isolation 3/4 of the day. That’s more like a punishment than a life.

Lovinglifesomuch you say you don't "get " the expectation that dogs should have amazing lives and all of their wants and needs catered for among other creatures.

“Many many people can't afford to even send their kids to daycare never mind the bloody dog!!”

Then they don’t get a dog...

People don’t tend to end up with unplanned dogs, if they’re unable physically or financially to meet its basic needs, they’ve no business getting one.

Sorry posted too soon!

Cont'd post to Lovinglifesomuch ...

It's not so much that we should treat dogs better than any other creatures on earth, including ourselves. Most reasonable people would wish for decent lives (as far as that is possible) for all animals and humans.

It's more that if you take on a dog, then you are in a sense asking it to live a life that is in a sense "artificial" for an animal, living in our homes (which are tantamount to prisons in dogs' eyes who would for the most part rather being outside sniffing the air) asking it to conform to our human routines and habits. The dog itself has no control over any of this and every decision we make about its life from the type of food it eats to where it sleeps at night affects the quality of its life. It's a serious thing being responsible for the life of another living creature and not something that should be taken lightly.

refor every aspect of its life from the food it eats, to

GAH! Sorry! Ignore last line in post below.

Meant to add in response to Lovinglifesomuch is that a dog over time becomes a member of your family - it is an individual with a distinct character and personality not some generic "lesser being" - and as such owners naturally go to great lengths to make it as comfortable as possible. If you have the attitude that all dogs are "smelly mutts" then I doubt you will understand this.

What breed of dog is he MsVestibule? People might have some insights into broadly typical breed behaviour.

Can you take your dog to work with you, perhaps leave him in his crate in the car if there is a secure space? Should make the walking easier. I know this is very unlikely but increasingly work places are becoming more accepting to dogs.

Re the 'going places' - what kind of things do you mean? Shopping trips etc? I think having a dog does require quite major adjustments to lifestyles if what you usually spend free time doing is not 'dog-friendly' - tbh if the only time you really spend with the dog is at home and the walks, I do wonder if your family is really suited to a dog.
Consider re-homing, if you see the current approach being the pattern for the next ten years,.

It's not just about the crate, a dog should not be left alone that long crated or not, no matter what age they are.

If you work and only have half an hour in the day to spend with him then you need to rehome him. Go to a breed charity, you might need to make a donation, but they will be able to help you and they will find the right home for him.

@MsVestibule I think although some of these comments must be hard to read, hopefully it shows you how different your expectations are in comparison to other dog owners.

I can't imagine being in a small room alone for that long every day without going mad - it just isn't fair. Other people doing it too doesn't make it right.

I'm a bit sad you've also chosen not to respond to some of the other suggestions such as borrowmydoggy, people are trying to help you but it's hard for them not to use emotive language when they are sad for your dog who could be in a much more stimulating environment to get the most out of his life.

Hopefully you can find a solution but if it hasn't worked out then there's no shame in rehoming him - it's the kindest thing to do to give him and everyone involved the happiest life possible.

Good luck

who's to say the next home is going to be better

Whoever you use to rehome them? I do home checks for a rescue charity and there is no way we would home a dog with people who were out for the length of time the OP is.

It hasn't crossed your mind that he's bored rigid and chews because he's left so long? Would you put a child in a cot for that long and leave them, expect them not to act up when they come out?!
Your dog is bored stiff, lacking stimulation. If you really can't find a better solution - doggy day care, Walker coming in DAILY, leaving him toys, tv or radio on them contact a reputable rescue. Not that they won't have lots of other dogs from people who didn't think things through properly either but your dog deserves better