Does anybody else regret getting a dog?

[MsVestibule]

We thought long and hard before we got a puppy. What would be the best breed for us, how will we look after it during the day etc.

It really hasn't worked out as I'd hoped.

What we didn't realise was that we would get a puppy who chews EVERYTHING, even now, at 10 months old. He is mainly confined to the breakfast room/kitchen and one of us has to watch him ALL the time.

The chewing means he has to be in his crate from 8.30-3.30 4 days a week, although I come home at lunchtime and walk him for half an hour, but it's still not ideal for him.

A retired, local family member enthusiastically volunteered to walk him every day (we wouldn't have actually got a dog if they hadn't volunteered) but that fell through extremely quickly 🙄. TBH, this has been our biggest issue - I resent that so much of my (previously spare) time goes on working later than I should so I can take a lunch hour to dash home and walk him.

What we (very, very foolishly) didn't consider was what we would do if we wanted to go somewhere for more than 3.5 hours. Our lives are not quite as dog friendly as we thought they were and we just have to accept that if we want to go somewhere, we pay for doggy daycare. Expensive, but manageable.

I suppose I'm just fed up that our entire lives seem to revolve around him. Honestly, I know this is all our fault. I had my reservations anyway but our DCs were so keen and I have to admit, I was too.

I'm not quite sure what I hope to achieve from this thread. Has anybody else felt the way we do at this stage and then gone on to fall madly in love with their dog? Or do I just accept that this is the way I will feel for the next 12 years?

He is a really beautiful boy and does get a lot of attention and affection so he's not neglected (apart from the crate thing), I promise!

No flaming, but honestly? Just re-home him.

It’s an untenable situation for a young dog to be in. He needs company and stimulation, not to be shut in a cage all day.

I’m a massive dog lover, and have/had plenty of rescue dogs. My heart dog came from a similar situation, and I’m so glad his owners did the unselfish thing and gave him up, otherwise I would never have had him in my life.

I don’t doubt you love him @MsVestibule, but this is about his feelings not yours. Give him a chance to find someone with the right home for him. And don’t for God’s sake get another dog, ever.

Your puppy chews because it's a natural thing for dogs to do, secondly he is bored and thirdly could be stressed. Dogs chew, bark etc to relieve stress.
Crates should be safe spaces for them not confinement.
You need to rehome him.
You say even in the evening he is confined to kitchen.. And someone had to be with him... Wrrrr yes... Dogs are pack animals who love their families.. He wants to be with you. He doesn't understand why he is banished from the pack.
This is so cruel and sad.
If you must keep this dog can you start investing in training for you and dog, some mentally challenging chew toys, and a dog flap so dog can go outside..
Or daycare.

What type of dog is it?
If it’s a lab then this is VERY common and accounts for something like 90% of the reason a lab gets re-homes. Even if it’s not I know it’s annoying (I have a lab that destroyed everything and I was home full time!).
Can you make a room ‘chew proof’ and put a stair gate across? I’m afraid I do agree that crating for those hours, even with a short run in the middle of the day, is not on. His destruction is probably because it’s lonely and bored.
Can you ask the person who was meant to be helping to walk it one day a week? That sounds less daunting to someone than 3 days or more. Then I’m afraid it really is a dog walker you have to get. Not only do they get at least an hour’s walk but with all the pick up and drop offs they are usually out for at least 2 hours and have attention and company. I honestly think if the dog has about 2 hours company in the middle of the day when you are at work it will make a big difference. The bonus is you will not have to work a longer day so will be home earlier to be with the dog too. It won’t work overnight but I truly think this will work.

I think puppy regret is very very common. It's a shock to the system to realise you are now responsible for this animal and will be for many years.
It doesn't sound like you were in an ideal situation to get a puppy in the first place OP, what with the working hours. I would put the puppy in daycare as even a dog walker popping in for an hour really isn't sufficient for a dog that age.
If you can't do this I would look to rehome. Use a breed specific rescue or a reputable charity if you choose to do this. We have a couple of lovely small rehoming charities locally, I personally wouldn't touch any of the big charities.

Either way the dog really cannot continue to be crated for hours and hours a day. Just take a moment to really think about how the dog must feel. It must be going stir crazy which explains most of the behaviour issues.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

I'm a dog walker, most of the dogs I walk are young and energetic including cockers and labs. The dogs are out the house for a couple of hours whilst I collect/drop off including 1 hr walk and are tired afterwards and will sleep. The dogs know each other, interact and play, some were shy and bit nervous but it's great to see how they have come on and gained confidence.

If you could find a good dog walker in your area it's more than exercise your dog would gain and they would be out of the house and would free up some time for you so you play some brain games instead.

How old is your pup? Ours is 4 months and I adore him but he’s a huge tie. I’m around all day as two of my children have Sen meaning I can’t work.

That’s a very long time for a young dog to be alone. Do you have chews? Toys? Frozen kongs? Could there be any adjustments on your working hours? Early start and an early finish?

Aside from a walker or even someone who could be a companion, I think really your only option is to re-home. It’s very unfair to leave a dog that long. It also sounds like you're quite resentful of the puppy now.

I hope you're taking these responses in OP.
You are being cruel. The dog does not deserve this life. You are his everything and you're forcing him to suffer. Please try and imagine how he feels to be locked up in a cage for so long, if I knew you personally I'm afraid I'd be taking him off you, no animal deserves to live such a shitty existence

Your dog is far too young to be left for so long. Even worse, a dog doesn’t just need x walks a day, rather it needs companionship, stimulation and walks when it is awake and lively, rather than when it is sleepy and tired. So, for example, I have an 11 year old JRT, a two year old GSD and an 8 month old Griffon x Husky. The JRT only comes for a short part of the morning walk, then decamps to the sofa. The other two go bonkers all morning, we walk, they play with each other, we spend most mornings outside pottering about on the farm. By the afternoon they are ready to sleep. In the evening the GSD is happy to chill, while the puppy gets the zoomies. One final walk late evening and they are ready to settle for the night.

A puppy cannot spend this long on his own, nor can you expect him to manage his energy around your schedule.

Oh Historydweeb go polish your halo somewhere else.

Rtft I think the OP has taken enough battering. Give helpful constructive advice or just move on. I think the first 20 ‘cruel’ and ‘disgusting’ comments were sufficient.

Sorry, I've only just come back on and I didn't mean to be cruel with my muzzling comment, just that the only dog I've had that suffered SA was a retired Greyhound who in the early days was muzzled whenever we were out, necessary so she didn't eat everything and also for for the cat's safety at first (once they were properly introduced and ok while we were there so not gated off at all times). Obviously any dog needs muzzle training before being comfortable with one and I was hasty to suggest it as mine was v happily muzzled BUT I would find muzzle training far preferable to being in a crate for so long every day and then being separated from the family also. My hound had run of the house muzzled and it was fine, they can drink through them also once they're used to it. I'm just defending my comment as it were rather than re-suggesting it- you can't just muzzle any old dog and expect them to be happy, but you can muzzle train a young chewer! (Which having had a muzzled dog would be the better option in your scenario for me.)

I wrote a message in anger and thought better of it.

Please either rehome the dog with a breed rescue or give your fucking head a wobble, roll your sleeves up and look after it properly.

puppymouse you should have just saved the time and deleted your whole post as it’s absolutely pointless and no help at all.

Thanks again for all of the constructive comments, they have been really helpful. We'll be getting a large pen at the weekend, 'mind games' and some kongs. Still not ideal but at least he'll be able to stretch his legs and be entertained for some of the time.

To those of you who, 100 posts in, are STILL telling me how cruel I am but without giving any advice at all (apart from 'rehome the poor dog'), why? Did you think I hadn't got the message by now? Or do you just enjoy sticking the boot in?

I was feeling at a rather low ebb when I wrote the post yesterday. Yes, I'm finding it far more difficult than I thought it would be but we're not rehoming him. He's a part of our family now and we'll get through this stage. He is a loving, affectionate dog and gets plenty of love, affection and attention from us.

@Nesssie point taken. But I think Mumsnet would be a little sparse some days if everyone deleted their pointless posts. Sorry to stick the boot in OP and good luck if you intend to persevere. Training, time, patience and not leaving him in his crate for long periods.

I get extremely emotional reading OPs like this.

What size dog is he?

It wouldn't be MN without Nesssie the thread police

Bear in mind if you are getting a pen just how high a dog can jump if it wants to reach something on the other side. Eric who stands less than twelve inches to his shoulder at full grown could jump the stair gate on the bottom step to get upstairs when he was a puppy. No idea whether he still could as we don't have a gate anymore as he knows he's not allowed upstairs now. It's not confining him that is going to solve this it's your time and company and training. You would be better off investing in doggy daycare and training classes.

I would send mine to a dog walker for a few hours a day to tire it out and break the day up. The one near me would take for a half day which would mean you wouldn’t have to pop home at dinnertime.

I would then try and create a non chewable space, we used the kitchen but a utility room or play pen etc could do and fill it full of interesting things to do. Frozen kongs, mind games, antlers, hide treats etc.

I also would phase out the crate at night if possible 14 hours out of 24 is way too much. Presumably the dog chews through separation issues, does it chew when your home?

If you can’t or won’t commit to paying someone to take the dog out for you then the only sensible option is to rehome. It’s not a lack of excersise but a lack of company and mental stimulation that’s the issue here. Some dogs can cope all day happily, yours clearly can not so it’s up to you to deal with it.

I'm confused. Are you just changing the crate for a pen and throwing him a kong? If so I don't think that's going to change much. In fact my dog won't entertain a kong anymore because they bore him.

Why don't you invest in daycare or a dog walker that will take him for at least a couple of hours where he gets much more interaction with other people and dogs? If you can't spare the time, which it sounds like you are still not willing to do then you have to find the money instead.

I work so I don't have the time in the day for him so I PAY for someone else to devote their time.

OP why won't you consider a dog walker? That's what your dog needs not just a bigger cage - stimulation and company during the day.

If you're put off by the cost look at borrowmydoggy it's possible you could find someone who wants to walk your dog for enjoyment. Or can you put any pressure on the person who said they would walk him - if they aren't prepared to walk perhaps they could have him at the house.

I didn't want a dog. I resent our dog and the fortune it costs for him to go to the walkers and the feeling of having to walk him all the time. but we and you made a commitment and the dog deserves a happy life.

Another word of warning about a pen. I have an extra tall dog pen and a 5 month old retriever pup climbed out of it right in front of me.

Also, there have been horrible cases of pups catching collars or harnesses trying to escape a pen and being strangled.

Sorry to give you the worst case scenario, but if you are leaving an older pup in a pen of this length of time you need to be aware.

Just don't understand why you're ignoring suggestions of daycare or a dog walker. People are probably angry and frustrated because of that..

Well, I would be chewing stuff if I was locked in a crate 7 hours straight.

Again, the issue isn’t the crate, the issue is that he’s being left for that long.

More space isn’t going to help.

Yes, as above, your changes won't change anything.

You need to find a solution so that someone is with the dog for at least the whole morning. So BorrowMyDoggie, dog walker, dog day care or similar. Then the dog will only need to cope with afternoons on his own, which is more manageable.