No longer want to have our dog

[ashley1309]

I feel awful saying this but I no longer want our dog. We brought him from a rescue centre almost 3 years ago and he is a very placid and nearly perfect husky dog. He's loving and calm but now I've had a baby I just can't cope with it all. My baby girl is 9 months old and trying to juggle working, running a house, looking after her and managing a dog is all too much. The dog hair is driving me insane. I know I am a house proud person and I have tried to let go of some of my ways however, I won't allow my daughter to be covered in dog hair and having it in her mouth and stuff. I don't have time to hoover everyday, which is what my house needs. He also needs walking at least once day, or more, and quite frankly I just don't have time as I always have more pressing jobs to do related to work, home or baby. My partner works a funny shift pattern so also no longer really helps out with the house or the dog.
Essentially I think it's time we did the fair thing and allow him to move to a more loving home where he would get more time and attention, where he isn't shut out from parts of the house, and where he gets looked after better. However, I just don't think my partner will see this and agree. What do I do?

My old boy was three when I had dd1. We bought a lovely chunky three wheeled pushchair specifically for being able to take the baby out when I had to walk the dog every day. And we had a baby gate for the kitchen in case we needed to separate him. He was fine though.

I’m sorry you’re being slated Op but this really isn’t as difficult as you think.

I'm going against the grain somewhat...

I think you should pass the dog to a better family for him IF you really can't get your husband to step up. It's not fair to condemn the dog to a life of being a burden and not getting the care it needs. I would however feel ashamed and devastated for the dog. I know because I have 11month old DD, I'm back in work and I'm pregnant with our second. There are times when not having our dog would be very convenient for me, but he's family too and I love him so we slog on.

Our dog sometimes goes out with borrow my doggy walkers. Have you tried that?

I find threads like this really upsetting. You can’t just boot the dog out. I appreciate you are overwhelmed right now but you made a commitment to an animal that’s already been rescued once. I’ve three kids and two dogs and trust me it’s driven me crackers st times but the dogs were here for the first few years before we had kids and I could never in a billion years rehome them...and given I’m a bit ocd about hair etc its not always easy.

Practical suggestion is to get a Dyson pet cordless hoover as it makes hoovering much quicker with leads etc - I do my whole house once or twice a day in a few short minutes.

There are also those rubber grooming combs - the dog needs brushing every day, it’s the only way and why I wouldn’t have an animal with long fur. My dogs are short haired and it still drives me mad but it’s the price we pay for their company and them being part of our family.

I’ve several friends who’ve rehomed once kids arrived and it drives me up the wall. I’m sorry but it’s horribly selfish.

We got our dog because someone had a baby and didn't want her anymore 😐 their loss, our gain, she's gorgeous! If you really don't want your dog anymore please make sure he or she goes to a good home! Or go to a breed rescue for help. I can't see your situation changing tbh so go about it the right way!

You have a dh problem, not a dog problem.
Buy a Roomba, hire a dog walker, tell your 'd'h to pull his finger out.

Oh ffs. Poor OP. Could you afford to pay for a dog walker for a bit? Then see how you are doing in a few months. Having a 9 month old is tricky, but things change all the time and you may find yourself better able to cope in a few months. To all the people telling you that you are awful... things change. After I got my dog I had a serious health diagnosis and my DH had an accident that meant he was completely immobile for a while and is still unable to walk the dog or do much round the house. The dog also needs more exercise than I’d anticipated (and, yes, I had researched the breed, he is just much higher energy than anything I’d researched). I didn’t give the dog up. I’ve just taken it week by week while we adjusted. But rehoming him would not have been evil if I couldn’t meet his needs.

What I truly don't understand is, how can anyone have a dog in their life for 3 years and not love it? If you ever loved it you'd not even begin to consider rehousing it. You say it's placid and well behaved so it sounds easy to love. Has it lived lovelessly for 3 years with you? One of my dogs is a big handful, he's been such a struggle but, I genuinely love him and cope with it all (dogs, kids, work, bad behaviour, fur everywhere, mud, twice daily hour long walks) because the minute I brought him home he became a family member. Kick your husbands arse.

Dogs should not be in homes where they are not wanted. If you're going to rehome you must do so responsibly www.sharerescue.org.

Having said that I think this is about the lack of support you're getting from your partner. Plenty of people work shifts, they don't use that as an excuse to leave all the shit work to their partner. The dog isn't really the issue, your partner is.

I have a 7month old and a dog and a cat I do understand where you're coming from to a certain extent.

However, My pup is my fury child. I'd die before giving her up. She's just as much part of my family as my real baby.

They just want love. A cuddle, a nice long walk and a tasty meal.

Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind.

t1mum3 I have great sympathy for people going through unexpected changes in circumstances like yours but even if the pregnancy was unexpected they had months to work out a different schedule to ensure the dog still got walked between them.

So sad.
I would understand if it was super hyperactive or you felt the baby wasn’t safe around it or something but come on!

You’ve said it’s placid, calm, a perfect pet.
You’ve basically said you want to get rid of it because it sheds too much and you can’t be arsed to walk it.

You’ve had it 3 years so you knew how much it shed well before baby was even conceived...?
Groom it more??
I give my dog a quick once over with a flea comb everyday - less than 5 minutes.
If you have time to brush your teeth you can quickly run a comb through the dog.

And if it is as placid and calm as you say take the baby out for a walk with dog??
It’s not hard.

Why the hell get a dog if you knew you wanted children and then complain about dog hair etc?

Selfish selfish selfish. I tell you what get rid of the baby. Dogs are much nicer and more intelligent. You have had the dog longer so he is the one that should stay.

As for re-homing him, I don't know how you could even think of it. He was a rescue when you got him so already not a great start in life. Not all dogs in rescue go to lovely homes. Some stay in rescue for years or even the rest of their lives. Depending on the rescue some are put to sleep.

I am sure you will probably ignore any advice on here but PLEASE NEVER GET ANOTHER DOG.

I’ve never had pets or children mainly because I know how much fucking work they are. Christ.

Your DH needs a kick up the bum!

Gosh, how sad.

Surely you have atleast half an hour after work to walk him? Baby in sling/buggy?.... Or a dog walker during the day?

Maybe think of getting a cleaner a couple times a week?

I think there are two types of pet owner.

The ones who like the idea of a pet and a pedigree chum advert style life with them, until something unplanned and difficult happens.
And the ones who genuinely feel they can enrich their lives by cohabiting with one, and in turn pay that back by cherishing and promising to love and look after it as best as they can and will try anything before even considering casting it aside

And I really wish people sussed out which one they are before getting one.

We rescued our dog from someone that got rid of her because she had a new baby. She's never really recovered years later and still has issues with trust. She really annoys me sometimes and is incredibly hard work but I'd never rehome her.

It's a dog! If you can't cope then you can't cope.
Yes, of course you need to re-home him where he will get more attention and regular walks.
It's irresponsible of the majority of posters on here to berate you for simply not coping FFS. It's not as if they're rushing to come and give you some practical help.

Huskies are a lot of work as are most dogs
But 1 hour a day isn't even enough for a husky they are highly energetic and need a lot of exercise and grooming.

1. You should not have got a dog if you were planning children in the near future
2. If baby was unexpected you and partner should have thought about what to do with the dog beforehand
3. It's doesn't sound like your partner is doing 50/50 yes he might be away at work but being home with a baby is emotional and draining especially in the early days. Your baby has got 2 parents why is it your doing so much?

Is that the reason your not coping?

I've only skimmed through but can't see that anyone has already mentioned it - if he was adopted through a rescue, you need to contact them first. The contract that you signed on adoption will state that if you cannot keep him, he should be returned to them.

Kool4katz, but if a poster said she had 3 children and could not cope no one would suggest getting rid of one of the children would they? They would suggest ways to cope which is what a lot of posters are doing.

Of course dogs are not children but if you decide to get a dog it is your responsibility to care for it for the rest of it's life unless something drastic happens that makes it impossible for you to do so. Having a baby is not a valid reason.

This poor dog has already spent time in rescue. We don't know it's background but, knowing a lot about rescue dogs, it is quite likely to not have been a great life.

I have a rescue dog who at 7 months had had 4 different homes. The first one was a very abusive home where my poor boy was literally starved, only given water occasionally, locked in a cupboard, not walked etc.

Given his background it would be obvious to anyone with a brain that he would be a challenge. For a start he wasn't house trained as he messed in the cupboard. Three people supposedly rehomed him. One lasted a week, one last 3 days and one lasted ONE NIGHT!!!

We really did not want another dog but my heart broke hearing his story. It has been extremely hard work with him, trying to train him, get him used to everything (he had never seen other animals, grass, trees, toys, people). He is terrified of everything and everyone except me, DH and the dog we already had. He has destroyed a lot of things indoors. We would never ever get rid of him

1. DH should pull his weight. Funny shifts or not a dog won't really care when it's being walked!
2. Get a dog walker?/ borrow my doggy
3. Limit where the dog can go in the house i.e only the kitchen etc to limit the amount of hair getting everywhere.
4. Doggy daycare

I don't underestimate how hard it is with a young baby but there are things you could do and perhaps this hard time will pass. You may regret it if you give the dog away

mydogisthebest No, they're being judgemental and unsupportive berating the OP, just like you are really.

Fact is, if the OP, knows she isn't coping, she has to change something and one obvious option is to re-home the dog.

Also, posters comparing a child to a dog are simply being perverse.

If you couldn't cope with the fur why get a dog that's known to malt?
If you couldn't cope with a dog and a baby why have a baby if you already had a dog?
You've made a commitment to your dog when you rescued him to take care of him. You've said yourself the dog is great, the only problem is you don't make time or effort for him.
Your partner sounds like a problem.
People who can just give pets away like they're possessions and not a part of the family make my skin crawl.

Can’t see how shift work stops your partner helping with housework or dog walking.
If he won’t pull his weight however,
If you are working, can you get a dog walker? Or a cleaner? Keep the dog out of the living room?
Your dog is settled and attached to you.
They do have emotional attachments and recognise “their” people.

I know dog hair is very frustrating But
Surely there must be a way around this?