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Original poster

Would this work? Puppy related

42 replies

Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 10:41

I am hoping for some advice as we have never had a dog before. Here is our situation -

Own home, v small patio
Lots of parks / woods / countryside walking distance
2 children aged 3 and 4

I work 3 days a week, 10 -4 with ability to pop home once a day. The other 4 days I'm home. We would love to get a puppy and are committed to puppy training classes etc. But. The toilet training! For the 3 days a week would it be ok for my father in law to stay with the pup to help with toilet training, for the first few weeks as we can't take holiday with our jobs. Would this confuse the pup? Would it work? It's our only option.

We def want a puppy not an older rescue dog. We have 5 cats (rescues) and don't want to introduce an older dog. There are many other reasons, just wanted to say our main reason as I know people will suggest an older dog.

Thanks again for any advice!

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 23/09/2018 10:46

Your FIL puppysitting should be fine... but realistically you’d want to plan for that to happen for the first few months rather than weeks.

Wolfiefan · 23/09/2018 10:48

Is he happy to? Does he know what to do and can you both take the same approach? Do pup out every 20 mins or so on a lead. And after playing and eating and drinking and sleeping. Praise when pup goes. If they don’t watch like a hawk and take them back out.
I can’t see an issue with someone else helping with toilet training. Some households have multiple adults at home to help anyway.
How long is he happy to do this? It can take months to reliably toilet train some dogs.
TBH the bigger issue for me is a 3 year old and a puppy. Puppies chew and bite. They require pretty much constant attention to start with.
Maybe research breeds and contact breed clubs and meet breeders and plan to get dog when youngest about ready for school?

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 10:54

Thank you! Yes, FIL happy to support us. He is experienced with dogs. Our children are confident and respectful of animals, but would never be unsupervised. We plan to crate train and have an area the dog can be free from children. Thanks for the replies!

OP posts:
AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 23/09/2018 10:54

Will FIL be willing to follow the rules you've set down and to provide consistent? Pup won't be confused if everyone does the same thing, but if the rules are different for 18 hours per week you're going to find it harder to make progress.

DF has never owned a dog of his own (but his parents / my grandparents always did) but often dog sits overnight for me and adores DDog. Despite never having had responsibility for training a dog, or having been to a training class, or even taken the time to educate himself, he likes to make up his own theories based on what he thinks should be correct and apply them to DDog. This applies even when it's clearly explained to him why he's wrong or even just why consistency is key. Bloody nightmare. I had a 6 month battle with him to get him to take treats out for recall as he felt tickles should be enough of a reward when DDog couldn't give a flying fuck about tickles. The battle was only won after I came back from a week away where DDog hadn't had his recall reinforced, took DDog out for walks, had 3 dangerous recall related incidents in 24 hours (recall is normally 98% perfect) and came home crying.

Major personal bugbear of mine. Basically, it depends on whether or not you've got a 60-something know-it-all who won't listen or someone rather more malleable!

Wolfiefan · 23/09/2018 10:57

I’m only going on my experience. Giant bitey hound who chewed through walls, could’nt be alone but hurt the kids if near them.
She’s two and a sweetie now! Do find a good trainer!
The Blue Cross has a great info sheet on the internet on introducing cats and dogs.
Any plan on breed?

Costacoffeeplease · 23/09/2018 10:59

What’s the plan for your 3 days a week once the pup is bigger? A dog, especially a young one, should be left no more than 4 hours per day, not per session. So you’re already over that

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 11:02

Thank you! He is level headed and listens, he wants to help and is open to whatever way that may be, luckily! We have decided on whippet, and found a breeder who also has cats. I don't know whether to go for it or just to rule out a dog because our circumstances are not what is recommeneded, ie to be off work for weeks when you first get pup. Just want what is best for puppy!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 23/09/2018 11:04

As long as someone is there to toilet train whilst the dog is young (and yes that could be months) I can’t see a problem.
And as for cats. We have a wolfhound and two cats too. It can work.

Costacoffeeplease · 23/09/2018 11:21

Did you see my post above, op?

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 11:25

Thank you. Sorry, yes. For the other days once its an adult I can come home mid day so it would have a stretch of 2.5 hrs and then 3 hrs.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 23/09/2018 11:26

That’s my point, it should only be left for one of those periods, not both, so what’s the plan for those days?

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 11:30

I don't understand? 2.5 hours alone is fine for an adult dog! It would then have a 30 min walk and left for 3 hours. I would then be home and able to walk it again.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 23/09/2018 11:31

Some dogs would cope with that. Some can’t. (Adult dogs I mean. In good health.) The issue is you can’t know which your pup would be. Any chance of FIL helping long term or dog walker or dog daycare?

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 11:34

I don't see the need for a dog walker as I can come home after only 2.5 hrs and walk the dog for 30 mins which is exactly what a dog walker would do. I would have thought this would be ok as it seems to be what the majority of people with a dog do, except those that don't work?

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 23/09/2018 11:36

But you’re then leaving it another 3 hours - that might be ok for an elderly dog, but not for a 6 month/1 year old dog

Wolfiefan · 23/09/2018 11:37

The ideal is dog not left for more than 4 hours in total.
I think you need to consider what you would do if this didn’t work. If I tried this with my dog she would chew her own feet off in anxiety. (She’s “sensitive”!) It could be fine and I know people who do similar. But if it isn’t? Would be awful to get a dog and have to rehome due to a dog with separation anxiety etc.

Costacoffeeplease · 23/09/2018 11:37

It’s not the walking that’s the issue it’s the boredom and loneliness

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 11:48

Ok, thanks!

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 23/09/2018 11:53

I got an 8 week puppy and work in the office for three days a week. This is my experience of managing puppies and work.

For the first month I was at home and even by the end of that time we were still not toilet trained and he was well into his bitey puppy mode. After that period he was on his own for around 3 hours, as I had got him used to that in the first month, before he was picked up to go to doggy daycare which fortunately continued with the toilet and obedience training.

All puppies are different and whilst some may be fine to leave at home others won't and may be anxious and destructive. I had the idea that when BiteyDog was fully grown we would simply revert to a dog walker but it is very apparent he is a people's dog and is also 'sensitive' so doggy daycare has remained as he simply would not tolerate the setup you are proposing which is on his own, 30 mins exercise and then left on his own again.

If you get a dog think of having a backup plan such as daycare in case your dog is similar.

I don't see the need for a dog walker as I can come home after only 2.5 hrs and walk the dog for 30 mins which is exactly what a dog walker would do For adult dogs you are wrong as most dog walkers advertise a 1 hour long walk which does not include pick up or travel time so often your dog can be out of the house and with company a lot longer than the 1 hour which is far more than your 30 minutes. Also I know my dog when he is walked with his doggy pals burns off far more energy than walking with me so he gets all that socialisation and play on top of his exercise. If you are going to stick to your plan when the dog is older a good dog walker will exercise and tire your dog out much better than your 30 minutes and may then tolerate being left alone better.

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 12:01

Thanks bitey for your experience.

OP posts:
GlitterEverywhere · 23/09/2018 12:09

This is all very negative! Of course it can work, but as others have said it really depends on the dog. My DDog came from a kennel environment so she’s happy with her own company but some can be destructive if left alone.

I would highly recommend a dog walker anyway, it’s often pack walks and excellent for socialisation. At around £10 an hour it’s relatively cheap, good for the dog and takes the pressure off you.

Wolfiefan · 23/09/2018 12:23

A dog walker who walks lots of dogs may well not be suited to a very young dog in training.
I agree with Bitey. It could work. But all puppies are different. Hope for the ideal but have a back up plan too.

GlitterEverywhere · 23/09/2018 12:29

Indeed Wolfie. You need to find a walker who suits your needs. My friend is one and ‘matches’ dogs up so they have the best time.

You also need to watch they don’t take too many out at once.

Original poster
Willitworkout · 23/09/2018 13:37

Thanks everyone. Lots to think about. I've racked my brains and I don't know a single person who does anything other than walk in morning, go to work, walk at lunch, work, home and walk so that was what i assumed was the norm. We couldn't afford a dog walker (Obviously budgeted for food, vets, insurance etc) but it would work out at 180 a month as most dog walkers charge 15 here. Will give it some more thought! Thanks.

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 23/09/2018 13:46

I also know people who leave their dogs all day. One I think can a bit destructive and the other is ok but has access outside so can pee/poo if needed.

Yes people do leave them on their own and whilst 'some' dogs will be ok if yours isn't then you need to think how you will feel if you come home and they have eaten or scratched the sofa to bits or have behavioural issues or barks all day long.

My parents used to leave our family dog as there just wasn't any dog walkers or daycare like now and I remember things in the house getting destroyed and sometimes accidents by the back door.