My boy was put to sleep tonight

[hooveringhamabeads]

I don’t know how I’m going to cope without him, he was by my side for 14.5 years. We were like batman and robin. I’m absolutely heartbroken.

Hoovering

I completely understand.

I'm sure your vet was certain of the diagnosis - ours certainly was. He told us he was sure of what he was going to find.

I had never heard of this before. I had no idea that this could happen. My only consolation was when the vet said even if they had discovered the tumour earlier and been able to operate the survival time was only 2 to 3 months so he would have had major surgery and all that entailed and then this happen anyway. I look at it now and think he had a lovely life right up until the end, as did your darling dog too.

It's still too soon for us to be able to remember our boy in happier times, but I know eventually the happy memories will take over as yours will too. Until then all we can do is just keep moving forward. I'm not removing his things until we are all ready and I don't know when that will be. People around us think we are mad. I don't care. We are doing what feels right for us. You will know when it's right for you. I'm thinking of you tonight.

I lost my darling boy in June. I posted about it. I remain truly heartbroken and find myself crying about the sheer scale of the loss I feel. I find myself starting sentences ' I know he was just a dog.......'. However truth be told he wasn't just a dog, he was the gentlest, sweetest most selfless little soul that ever lived.
My consolation? He was loved intensely until his last breath and he knew this. he lived a life full of love and I could only wish for a life half as good as his.
Grieve for him and remember the absolute joy he brought. I know I do.

Thanks Arthuritis, I’d never heard of it either. But yes read about it today online and it said 2-3 months is the best prognosis even with surgery, so I’m sure it was the right thing to do. So hard for you, 10 is no age really, what breed was he?

And yes just taking things one day at a time. All through my adult life he’s been there with me, I don’t know how to be without him.

I am so very sorry hoovering and all of you have lost your precious boys and girls

I lost my lovely girl in February and still miss her every single day. They are such a huge part of our lives and give us so much while asking so little in return.

He is such a beautiful boy hoovering and it is as plain as the nose on his beautiful face that you loved him so much. Never doubt you did the right and absolute best thing for him. It must be such a terrible shock for you with it being so sudden but at least he wasn’t put through months of treatment or investigations - he was living a normal, happy life with his loving family right up until the end.

I too was dreading collecting my girl’s ashes but I actually felt relief when she was back home where she belongs and find it immensly comforting having her here with us. I hope you feel that too when the time comes.

Sweet dreams lovely boy.

Sorry again to all the posters who have been through the same, there aren’t words to describe how awful it is. Everything is so weird. I’m in the bath at the moment and he always used to come in here with me and lie on my clean towel , and sometimes jump up and put his feet on the edge of the bath so he could get a fuss. It’s so weird him not being here.

So very sorry for your loss OP. I know exactly how you are feeling, it is completely devastating. Sending you a dog lovers hug.

Like this

That’s so lovely tooty, I hope it’s true.

Such a beautiful photo

This is a poem I found that helped me when I lost my lovely dog. I hope it helps you.

The House Dog’s Grave (Robinson Jeffers)
(Haig, an English bulldog)
I’ve changed my ways a little; I cannot now
Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment,
You see me there.
So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you’d soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.
I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot of your bed; no, all the nights through
I lie alone.
But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read- and I fear often grieving for me-
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.
You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying.
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that when you are lying
Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No, dears, that’s too much hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.
And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided….
But to me you were true.
You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.

That’s lovely too sometimes. I’ve been so worried about him dying for years and been so upset about the thought of it, and I wonder if they worried about it too, knowing that they were old and one day they’d have to leave you without them.

I may be overthinking this...

He looked such a character, what a beautiful face! So so sorry for you xxx

I'm so sorry op, lump in my throat just reading this

Hoovering

He was a cairn terrier. We got him as a rescue when he was 2 but he was the most well behaved, loving little dog. We simply adored him and I can't bear coming back to the house now knowing he isn't here running up to say hello. We thought that we had many more years together and I can't believe that this happened.

I’ve never seen my dh cry like he did when we knew our old boy was slipping away from us. Even when his parents died he didn’t cry like that, he was always so stoic and sensible.

It was coming home after the school run that I hated because that was when we’d go off out for our walk together. I’d get home and walk up the drive to the house and there’d be silence.

He was my little shadow. He’d follow me from room to room and just flop himself down. He really was a little companion.

This big lollopy bugger I’ve got now likes to slink off to another room and even buggers off ahead of me on our walks, the loon. He’s very affectionate though whereas my old boy just used to like to be near you.

Sometimes it’s nice just to talk about them again.

Arthuritus - I wondered about his breed as what I read today said it’s normally large breeds that it happen to but that wasn’t the case with ours.

And yes mrsadorabelle I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of talking about him and remembering him (thank you everyone for letting me prattle on, this really is helping). I know it’s far too early and getting another dog wouldn’t be able to replace him, but sadly I don’t think I’ll be able to get another one for a long time - my life revolved around ddog and the decisions I made regarding work and stuff factored him into them. Therefore I could never look for full time work as I wouldn’t be able to leave him (I couldn’t even go to the supermarket without him unless dd2 could have him). I loved every second but he did restrict my life, and I wouldn’t get another dog if I couldn’t give them the same treatment. I graduated last year and one of the reasons I haven’t been seriously trying to do anything with my degree was ddog. We’d always been together and I didn’t think it was fair to change that in his old age.

And he was one in a million, I can’t imagibe ever having that same connection again. It’s like we could read each other’s minds.

I honestly don't think our dogs think about or worry about dying. They live a life without restraint. They pour out their love during their short lives and have no regrets. No unfinished business and no unsettled arguments. They are at peace with themselves. We might want to take a leaf out of their book. Xx

I hope that’s true, I think you’re probably right.

Had a better night’s sleep last night, and woke up feeling not as bad as yesterday. My bf had let me sleep and taken dd to school, and I only woke up a few minutes ago. Went for a wee then started crying again as I went back to my room and realised he wasn’t here, this is the time that he’d always get into bed with me for a morning cuddle. The house feels so empty :(

Dogs are so amazing, yours sounds so loved x

How are you feeling tonight @hooveringhamabeads ?
I know after a couple of days people tend to stop asking.
I’m still missing my boy like crazy.
I’m also feeling really guilty as I’m thinking about booking a holiday. It was always so hard before as he had separation issues so had to be looked after in our house, and insisted on sleeping in a bed with whoever was dog sitting, plus where he was a rescue dog he wasn’t a huge fan of other dogs which ruled out home boarders.
Plus he’d make himself sick with stress in kennels.
I feel so guilty for thinking about a holiday.
For the past 10 years we’ve been really restricted and even if we took him on holiday with us he would bark the place down even if we popped out for 5 minutes and we’d have complaints.
I love him so so miss and miss him incredibly and it’s making me feel really guilty thinking of a break.
I’d also like to get away from the house for a bit as there’s too many memories here.

Thanks for thinking of me kitchensink. Today has been better than yesterday, but that’s not saying much. I managed to get out the house, and went into the local shop/post office. I know them well in there and the lady who runs it took one look at me and asked if I was ok. I couldn’t even use my words so just shook my head. She said ‘has he gone?’, which was quite clever of her to know as he was fine last time she saw him. I nodded and burst into tears, and she came around the counter and hugged me. But at least I left the house!

Other than that I’ve had 3 lots of flowers delivered with some lovely cards, all of which set me off again, one to the point of taking the cushion off his bed and lying on my bed howling whilst smelling it. It hurts so much.

You should definitely book a holiday, it won’t make you forget him but at least it’s a change of scenery and like you say will take you away from the memories. My boy was hard to leave too, I went away for 6 days in August and left him with my mum, and he’d chewed loads of raw patches while I was gone because of separation anxiety. They’d just healed up when he died. Now I wish I’d had that extra week with him, if I’d known in less than a month he’d be gone. But yes, do it! I’m also thinking about going away somewhere, will be the first holiday in 14 years that I’m not pining for him! Have a thing I’m going to this weekend which I booked tickets for months ago and not really in the right frame of mind for, but I think I will go anyway as it gets me away from the house for a night even if I’m not the life and soul x

So sorry, losing a beloved pet is hugely painful. I hope you have lots of happy memories to draw on. And knowing he lived such a long and happy life with you will help x

I am so sad for you and also for the other lovely people on this post who know depth of loss like this.
OP you describe such a special special dog and your photos are just so sweet. I really am sorry and thinking of you. I wish I could and all I can say is that I understand.

I also understand the playing the vet’s visit over and over in your mind and I hope you will find some peace about this in time as I did the same. It does sound like the vet knew and helped him the only way but I wish you could feel certain as it’s just had to take it all in too.
All the best