My boy was put to sleep tonight

[hooveringhamabeads]

I don’t know how I’m going to cope without him, he was by my side for 14.5 years. We were like batman and robin. I’m absolutely heartbroken.

Oh I’m so so sorry.

So sorry. He was gorgeous.

You must be in shock with how suddenly it happened. He would have known how loved he was by you.

I’ve name changed, but I wrote pretty much your exact thread on Friday night.
I am missing mine horrifically.
The house feels horrible. It doesn’t feel the same, sound the same or smell the same.
The lack of barking when I pull up on the drive feels horrendous.
I dread going inside.
My toddler has been walking round the house saying the dogs name most of the day.
I keep thinking I can hear his feet on the wooden floors and keep looking for him to check on him.
Just wanted you to know that you’re not alone ❤️❤️❤️
I find keeping busy helps.
I’m dreading his ashes being ready as I think it will hit me properly then.
I’m here if you want to talk.

I know just how you feel, the same happened to my lovely pooch Shaun many years ago. I've never seen my DH cry, but that night he sobbed with grief.
You will feel less raw in time, but for now you need to grieve. We are now at the same point with our dog Brian that we got after Shaun died. He's sixteen, can't walk well, a bit blind, losing weight and ready to go. It's unbearable!

I am so sorry for your loss, what a gorgeous boy. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks for all the replies, and sorry to everyone who’s been through the same, especially kitchensink who has also just lost her boy. I’m really not looking forward to picking him up in a box either :(

Had him since I was 22 and I’m 37 now, he’s been such a massive part of my life for so long. I got him when I was pregnant with my eldest and he totally thought of himself as a child of the family, even the kids used to call him their brother . He even had his own car seat as he always tried to sit in dd’s (this photo was last weekend).

He’d come everywhere with me, I mostly worked from home since I had him, and if I did work for anyone else it was on the basis he could come too. Even when I did my degree he’d come to my lectures! He had a way of charming people, anywhere we went he’d have people fawning over him, he came to expect it! Had so many people message me since yesterday who also loved him.

I have been a single parent most of his life and had some super shitty stuff to deal with, and he was there for through all of it. My longest relationship was 3 years and with him it was nearly 15...I honestly feel like I’ve lost a part of me. I don’t know how I’m going to cope without him.

And I keep replaying last night at the vet’s, she left the room to give me few minutes with him and I stroked him a bit but then just sat in the chair in the corner and watched him. I think partly I was just frozen in shock and partly I wanted to see how he was, in case the vet was wrong. He seemed ok, wandering around and sniffing things, but the vet said she was 100% sure that she was right. Now I’m kicking myself. Why didn’t I pick him up and give him a last cuddle for a few minutes? Then when she came back in and gave him a painkiller shot in his neck he yelped again in pain, so I guess he wasn’t right, he’s never done that before.

I know what you mean about them being such a big part of your life.
I got my boy 10 years ago, and he’s been through so much with me.
A vile relationship with an ex, then me being single, I had him when I met my husband, had the kids. He’s been an absolute perfect pet for them. My DD used to just lie on the floor with him draped over him. They were around the same size.
I feel lost.
I’m the opposite to you and worry that I let him go too soon.
At least you knew it was the only choice.
Mine had arthritis which was slowly getting worse, but rather than let him struggle for a few more months until he was in agony I decided to let him go.
He wasn’t enjoying life, but it’s so hard as mentally he was still so with it x

My dc loved him too, dd1 has ASD and isn’t that bothered about animals, but she loved him in her own way. A week ago today we went for a lovely walk in one of his favourite places that we haven’t been to for a couple of years, dd1 was there (she normally opts out of coming for walks) and she had a teenage strop and said she would sit in the car. I said she should come because ddog was old and she wouldn’t have that many more chances. She came and we had such a lovely time, the three of us, and I got some lovely photos.

Dd2 on the other hand loved him to bits and she was always hanging out with him. She’s the only other person ddog was happy to be with. Spent a lot of time at the beach this summer and ddog would trail around after her, always no more than a couple of metres away, in and out of the water. It was so cute to watch.

Sounds like lovely memories of him.
They’re such big parts of our lives aren’t they?
And they are so loved by us.
It’s really hard.
I’m still dosed up on antihistamines to get to sleep as I’m all over the place since it happened.
Be kind to yourself x

You were with him at the end hooveringhamabeads and as someone posted on the Friday night thread, you are suffering now so that he doesn’t have to any more.
The speed of his end must have been horrible, but please don’t beat yourself up about what you should have done.
Sad as it is you did the best thing for him

💐

I'm so sorry - it's such a hard but loving thing to do.

Go easy on yourself

Thanks, I took some Valium last night to try and calm me down but it didn’t really help. And still woke up after 5 hours and it hit me like a ton of bricks again :(

I have to believe I did the right thing but it just doesn’t add up. I opened the car door for him at the vets, ready to lift him out and before I could he hopped out by himself, then wandered off around the car park sniffing and weeing on things. He wasn’t right but he didn’t look like a dog who was on death’s door. The vet was so sure though. She said she could take him for an ultrasound and find out what the fluid was but she said whatever it was, was very bad, and at his age he wouldn’t survive any surgery. So I didn’t feel I had a choice.

He's beautiful OP, I'm so sorry to hear you had to let him go. I have two 10 year olds and am terrified of losing them. They end up being like an extra limb, your whole world. Sending hugs xx

He was absolutely lovely, and I’m so very sorry for your loss.

You were his loving and responsible owner for so many years. As heartbreaking as it was, you did the right thing for him. You were there with him at the end and the person he saw and was held by last was the one that will have undoubtedly meant the most to him throughout his life. I look at my dog and I always see love back in her eyes. There is something unspoken about that bond, that relationship.

You will never stop missing him and he will never be replaced. All you can do is try to (when the initial rawness of your grief has subsided)rejoice in little ways every day as to how much he meant to you and all the wonderful memories you created together:that way, yes he is gone but he is never forgotten.

I don’t know you or him but I know he was loved. As he knew too. 💐

They hide pain so well, they really do. This is half the problem it makes it so hard to know how they're feeling. I would rather send mine off a bit too soon than even a day too late, you sound like a very loving owner. He's at peace now without any pain and that was the last and kindest thing you could do for him xx

I think all the questions are a normal part of finding it understandably hard to let go of a much loved family member. I don't think vets euthanise animals lightly. It's just so hard when the time comes.

I'm a single parent and had to pts my cat (sorry) a while back. She'd been with me for years through my shitty marriage and afterwards, redundancy, health problems - all the general crap of life. It broke my heart to lose someone who was only ever nice to me

Heartbreaking 😢 so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous dog.

Oh OP. I am so sorry.

Exactly the same happened to our darling dog 3 weeks ago. He was completely fine all day. Went to take him for a walk in the afternoon and he just looked at us but wouldn't get up. Picked him up but he just lay in our arms. Rushed him straight o the vet who said exactly the same - gums pale, fluid in abdomen. Did an ultrasound scan and showed a tumour near the liver that was bleeding. asked us to agree to pts. I asked for 2nd opinion because it was such a shock. 2nd vet agreed. Our darling dog was only 10 and it has just devastated us all. Thankfully both children were back from uni and we were all able to be there and hold him. We had him cremated and he's back home now. His bed and blanket are still out and my husband puts fresh water in his bowl still every day. We're just not ready to let him go yet.

Lovely dog.they break your heart. X

Arthuritus - I didn’t go for the ultrasound as I couldn’t afford to as a single parent (she said I’d looking at an £800 bill) and it seemed pointless as she said there’s not anything they’d be able to do anyway. I’m so sorry you went through the same thing, the suddenness is horrible.

I’ve still got all three of his beds in various rooms in the house, and his bowls are still out. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to deal with them (or what to do with them when I do). I love him so much :(

I will never be the same either. I adored both of mine and now they are gone. The grief is awful and mourning is hard hard work.

I loved them with every fibre.
When you can print off and frame your favourite photos.

Awww, I'm so sorry What a beautiful boy - he looks like a character! I know you wouldn't have been without him - and I'm sure you gave him a wonderful life - but the end is so hard I really feel for you.

Best to keep his things down until you feel ready to remove them.

You will be in shock.

He reminds me v much of my own sweet beautiful girl . Am crying now for her and it has been 20 months

I will make an album of all my favourite photos of him when I feel ready to do it, I’ve got thousands on various memory sticks and discs from over the years. I’m also going to get a ring or something made from his ashes and put some of the hairs I collected in a locket.

I had a dream about him earlier where he was there, and I knew he was dead but he was back and so real, I could feel the weight of him on my arm and feel him licking my face. I’m hoping he comes back in more dreams.