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The doghouse

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Original poster

DH driving me mad with our dogs

25 replies

kennelmaid · 09/09/2018 20:32

Whenever my dh has something to eat he shares it with our three dogs. Not only that but he throws the food around the room to where they're sitting. I can hardly bear to eat in the same room as him sometimes. I've asked him numerous times to not do it but he still does it. He also leaves out chew treats on our coffee table for them to help themselves, knowing it annoys me and if I put them away he get them out again. What do other dog owners think about this behaviour?

OP posts:

DeadCertain · 09/09/2018 21:01

I would hate it. I have a very greedy dog and any encouragement to beg, counter surf or take food from tables would lead to him becoming a real pain in the backside!!

He just gets his meals and other things in the utility room, never anything shared when my husband and I are eating. Because he has no expectation of food at other times he just settles if there's food out at other times rather than hoping for some!

MaNeOi · 09/09/2018 21:05

We have two dogs who both love to beg, but we are lucky they are also quite small (pugs) so we aren't worried about them being able to get at food unless we give it to them.

My DH and DC do sometimes 'secretly' feed them at the table which I allow longs if its reasonable but I never let them eat on the carpet.

I think its unreasonable given you've expressed you don't like it - I'd ask if he wants to feed them extras to do in a certain area or in bowls etc? Just set up some kind of rule.

tabulahrasa · 09/09/2018 21:07

I think I’d actually kill him

We argue about him taking leftovers and putting them in the dogs bowl as it means he’s then watching people eat hopefully.

bershetmelon · 09/09/2018 21:10

This would (does) drive me nutty as well. Our 2 dogs constantly beg off my oh as he feeds them off his plate (one is very greedy and will eat anything that's found the other takes it if it's offered) and they will on occasion now hang around me after scraps which pisses me off. Also we have a young dc and they're constantly hanging about waiting for her to drop anything. He can't just give them one dog treat it's always a handful for no real reason, or several dog chews instead of just one. The problem with it is that when we got greedy dog she was considerably overweight and i put a lot of time and effort into getting the weight off. I think he equates feeding them to showing them love still winds me up though 🙄

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 09/09/2018 21:10

I don't feed from the table purely because I don't want to encourage begging - and nor would I want to encourage the dog to steal other food from the coffee table.

That said, I've fought this battle with DF and lost. In the end I gave up and DDog only begs from him as he knows not to waste his energy on me

fivedogstofeed · 09/09/2018 21:15

I'm with you. The ddogs don't beg from me or the DC but sit around DH salivating in anticipation.
It's bad for them. It creates competition for food and bad behaviour. DH knows it winds me up.

PositivelyPERF · 09/09/2018 21:16

He’s a dick head that cares more about the instant gratification that he gets from momentarily making the dogs happy with his behaviour, rather than what us good for the dogs. Is he aware that he may kill the dogs some day? Many foods, such as garlic, onion, nutmeg, chives, etc are bad or even dangerous for dogs. If those are in the ingredients of your meal, then he’s harming the dog.

At some stage your dogs will start demanding food and may end up nipping someone when they try to take it. His fault if they get put down.

I would put my food on my plate and leave the room, as soon as he does it. If he does it a second time, then by the third meal, I would plate up my food and walk out of the room. I’d leave the dick to it, if he was going to continue to behave like an undisciplined brat.

MrsMozart · 09/09/2018 21:16

Instils bad manners in the dogs.

PositivelyPERF · 09/09/2018 21:23

I think he equates feeding them to showing them love

Again, selfish behaviour. He wants to feel as if he’s special to the dogs, rather than thinking about what is good for the dogs. Think of it this way. Children would live on crap, but as parents we decide what is best for them. Most parents don’t give pudding after every meal, even though the child would be delighted and think their parent was wonderful.

indianwoman · 09/09/2018 21:25

Most parents don't give pudding after every meal??? Er, are you sure? I do!

fivedogstofeed · 09/09/2018 21:29

I think " he shares his food with the dogs" could justifiably be cited as unreasonable behaviour in a divorce.

adaline · 09/09/2018 21:34

It's bad behaviour and teaches the dog to beg for food.

We have a beagle and he would be all over our meals if we let him. We put him in his own area with a chew while we eat and never, ever give him scraps.

He gets veggies and some chicken/fish in his bowl at his mealtime. He never gets our leftovers and he knows it. I don't want a dog that has been taught to beg for food.

YolandiFuckinVisser · 09/09/2018 21:58

Our dogs get scraps of suitable food from our plates but only after every human has finished eating. They go in the living room while we eat and come in the kitchen when invited. Begging is not allowed.

Your DH is encouraging begging, its not an attractive trait in any dog.

Original poster

kennelmaid · 10/09/2018 08:05

Thanks all for your comments. His behaviour with the dogs has caused so many rows over the years it has affected how I feel about them and it's not their fault. I've often felt that they come between us but on the other hand they're the main reason we're still together!

OP posts:

Sarahlou63 · 10/09/2018 08:09

Just no. Our 3 indoor dogs never get fed from the table, all scraps go in their bowl but only at feed times. Result? No begging, food is safe on the table and dogs aren’t fat.

Gersemi · 10/09/2018 08:16

Can you shut the dogs into another room during meals?

AgathaF · 10/09/2018 08:17

I have no idea why anyone would want to encourage begging behaviour in dogs, or any other type of bad behaviour either.

sexnotgender · 10/09/2018 08:20

I have a greedy greyhound and he gets nothing from the table and no leftovers. That would do my head in!

QueenOfMyWorld · 10/09/2018 09:06

My Chihuahua is allowed bits of meat or fish after weve eaten.I believe it's important that they know that you are in charge and therefore you eat first.Sometimes ds will 'accidentally" drop food for him but not all the time thankfully

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 12/09/2018 14:08

Neither me dh feed our husky from our plates or give him scraps but we’ve just moved back in with fil while we save for a deposit and he is CONSTANTLY doing it and now our once we’ll behaved dog is begging. I hate it. We’ve asked fil not to do it and explained why and that certain foods aren’t safe but are ignored. Dh went ballistic when he caught him feeding dog slag Bol which had garlic and onions in. Ugh it’s driving me bonkers!

Branleuse · 12/09/2018 14:16

I would actually finish with someone for that. I honestly cannot bear dogs that beg, and someone enocuraging dogs to scavenge and beg is horrid. I couldnt live with it

Knowivedonewrong · 12/09/2018 14:28

Urgh! I feel your pain, OP.
My DH will feed our two the last bits of meat from his plate, he makes toast, the dogs eat most of it.
When he comes in from work he gives them ham from the fridge.
When he plays ball with them he gives them far too many treats as rewards.

They are put in a seperate room though when we sit down for our evening meal.
Drives me bonkers. The vet said last year that our Goldie was getting a bit of a chunky monkey. 😠

missbattenburg · 12/09/2018 14:32

Is there a way to direct his behaviour into something productive?

I sometimes share (healthy for him) food with Battendog BUT only if he is lying down quietly and behaving himself. Anything that looks like begging is ignored.

At 13 months he is now pretty consistent about going and lying down when people are eating.

TheEmmaDilemma · 12/09/2018 14:38

No feeding at the table.
No left overs from a plate.
20 minute min from transferring left overs from plate to bowl so that it is less related to us eating.

He's still learning at 6 months, but I'm sticking to the rules regardless.

nuttyknitter · 12/09/2018 15:50

My DS dog has been trained only to eat from her bowl. She's amazing - we can leave anything out on the countertops and she'd never dream of taking it.

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