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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Puppy has to go :(

132 replies

Bumchin101 · 20/02/2018 16:56

We recently got a dachshund (31st Jan) she's 5 months old. Since having her my DS whose 4 has been so nasty towards her to the point she is constantly locked in the kitchein for her and DS safety. DS use to be so loving and caring and since getting dpup he has changed. I've tried disaplining DS but nothing seems to be working. Most of the time he's just playing with Dpup but he always goes overboard and ends up hurting her. It's getting so bad Dpup has started jumping up at people's faces and going to bite them and has even bit DS a couple of times. I'm worried as I have a 2 week old DD and concerned that dpup will hurt DD. I don't want to have to rehome dpup and we live my mil who has really bonded with her and gets upset everytime I mention it might be a possibility, but I have tried everything I can think if and nothing is changing. Not sure what i want from posting this really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumchin101 · 20/02/2018 20:38

The puppy is by no means terrified of DS, always go to him first, does cuddle up to him when he's tired and actually behaving and jumps on him when he's playing with her. He can be nice to her but the other side of things he can also be nasty to her which is obviously my concern. Just when the play together it's so nice to see. It's horrible that he's ruining it. I've been told by many mum's that this age is one of the hardest and I'm just hoping this is a phase with DS.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 20/02/2018 20:53

Anybody else think he breeder was incredibly irresponsible here. They should have advised the op to wait to get a dog. While it might have been your first puppy, an experienced breeder probably wouldn't have sold you the puppy in your current circumstances.

HarrietKettle · 20/02/2018 21:04

I am doubting it was a reputable breeder, tbh.

TeddyIsaHe · 20/02/2018 21:07

Any decent breeder would have made you sign a form that stipulated that the puppy must be returned to them if any difficulties arose.

So you didn’t research well enough. This bread has made me furious to be completely honest, who in their right mind would think a puppy and a newborn and a young child would mix?

Please get this puppy to a home it deserves ASAP. And stop doing things on a whim because you WANT to, and not actually thinking what everyone (including the puppy) NEEDS.

PhelanThePain · 20/02/2018 21:07

Definitely think the breeder has been less than decent.

BTW OP 4 was a nightmare age for both my sons. It was like a switch had flipped when they turned 4. Honestly they became demons. I was at my wits end. It was only after speaking to lots of other parents that I realised this is a common age for behaviour problems. Best advice is, lots of deep breathing (from you) lots of patience, plan extra time to do everything and explain what is happening, and acknowledgment that his little world has been turned upside down with the arrival of this new baby. Btw, don’t be surprised if after the pup goes, he asks to get rid of the baby too. Grin in his head that will be a totally logical question.

TeddyIsaHe · 20/02/2018 21:11

*Thread not bread

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2018 21:11

The breeder sounds like she/he is just in it for the money. No reputable breeder would have let you have a puppy so soon to giving birth as well as already having a young child let alone not taking it back.

Sounds like you didn’t think about this at all OP. Please do the right thing for this puppy and phone Dachshund Rescue tomorrow.

PLEASE DO NOT ADVERTISE IT ON GUMTREE OR FB.

dachshundrescue.org.uk/

Depending where you are in the country there are phone numbers covering the whole of the UK.

CapnHaddock · 20/02/2018 21:11

No of course no decent breeder would have sold to a heavily pregnant woman nor would they have refused to have the dog back. But that's where the OP is.

Have you contacted the breed rescue yet OP? I've given you the link, as has another poster. They will find your dog a really great home.

You cannot do this. You can't make a puppy happy when you have a new baby and a 4 year old. Either you give up the puppy or the baby but you can't do both. I suggest the puppy will lead you to fewer problems down the line

parklives · 20/02/2018 21:25

Op it's fine, you took a bit of a Rose-tinted gamble, but with a pure breed fashionable puppy there will be no problem rehoming them through a rescue.
It's a lesson learnt, but don't worry too much about the puppy, they will be snapped up quickly and hopefully will have a wonderful life will their new owners.
I don't think there's any point with the bashing you are getting, this can be put right.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2018 21:30

It will only be fine if the puppy is handed over to the breed rescue. If not who knows where it will end up. Breed rescues don’t give you any money for a dog you’re handing over so hopefully the OP won’t be tempted to recoup the cost and sell it on gumtree. This would be disastrous for the dog.

ClaudiaD13 · 20/02/2018 22:20

Is there any way you could make this work with training? We initially had a few problems with our 4 (now 5) year old. We got him involved in the training and he completely changed his attitude towards the puppy. He has even trained her to wait while puts 5 treats on floor then feeds them to her one at a time. He just loves training sessions with puppy (now 6 months), and it has benefited him in other areas of his life too - calmer and more focused.

I'm not saying don't re-home, you obviously know your own circumstances best, and I'm not sure Dachshunds are the easiest breed to train.

Dragongirl10 · 20/02/2018 22:29

Op l don't want to upset you as l can see you have a lot on your plate, l agree with others that your poor puppy needs rehoming fast.

BUT l am really horrified at your acceptance of your 4 yr olds cruelty, a dachound puppy is tiny at 4 months, really tiny, and he HURTS him!

I have a 7 month old cocker and 2 dcs, they were brought up with an adult Weimaraner as babies and toddlers, so l KNOW it is perfectly possible for Dcs of 4 to understand it is not acceptable to hurt a defenceless puppy or any animal.

The first time my dd grabbed my Weimaraners floppy ears and pulled, as a toddler l whipped her hand away,(very firmly) held her in front of me to ensure l had her attention, and explained in no uncertain terms how much that would hurt our dog and she was NEVER to do it again.

Inevitable something similar happened with my ds ( a year younger) at some point, and he got treated the same, they were far to worried about my reaction to ever hurt a pet again...(l hasten to add l do not smack or yell)

When you said he stood on her tail l could cry for the pup, and if that was my child l would have pushed him off hard and stood on his foot.

You are responsible for the safety of a small breed puppy, please get a grip on disciplining your Ds.

Original poster
Bumchin101 · 20/02/2018 22:43

@dragontail10 I have not once said I've accepted my son's behaviour. He has been punished everytime he has been mean to the puppy and told off as soon as these instances happen. They are never in the same room alone as I always take the puppy with me or she follows me, I have done this from the very beginning.

As for those who have said I've done this on a whim you clearly have not read my posts where I have said I researched this breed and have been thinking about getting a puppy for quite some time. I didn't wake up one morning and think 'oh I go and buy a Puppy!' Alot of thought has gone into this decision and as I have admitted quite a few times in this thread I have taken on more then I can cope with ( generally thought I could cope and did not anticipate my son's behaviour)

Thank you for those who have sent me some links, DP and myself will have a look when he comes home from work.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 20/02/2018 22:49

He has been punished everytime he has been mean to the puppy

But the punishments are obviously not a deterrent because he is repeatedly hurting the puppy. It's the pup who is suffering. What would you do if he stamps on her and fractures her spine????

TeddyIsaHe · 20/02/2018 22:50

You did do it on a whim though, if you’d actually considered everything you would have known that young children can be jealous and act out when a new baby is born and to bring a puppy into that mix is completely irresponsible.

Anyway I’m getting too annoyed reading your blasé replies so I’m going to leave it now.

LovingLola · 20/02/2018 22:50

And you can't be always having the puppy with you - if you do then how is he getting the opportunity to hurt her so often?

ImMissHannigan · 20/02/2018 22:50

Well you are where you are with the puppy/ds relationship, so negative comments and judging won't help. You mentioned he gets upset if you say the dog is going to leave. And also that your mum has a dog. Could you get your mum to look after your pup for a week or so, give both of them a break. Tell your DS he has had to go somewhere (don't tell Him your Mums) because of his behaviour. But that if he is good and promises not to hurt puppy again he may come back. Let him miss him and think on his behaviour. Then bring puppy home. If the behaviour from your DS continues then the puppy will go. But this gives him a chance to see the consequences and change his behaviour. It gives both your DS and puppy a fair chance in a difficult situation. Good luck Thanks

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2018 22:54

OP please don’t wait till your partner gets home to ring the rescue. This needs addressing first thing. I’m sure whoever you speak to will be kind and not judge your situation so don’t be worried about picking up the phone, they will want to help the puppy asap.

Whilst the puppy is still with you please do not leave it alone for a second with your son.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2018 23:08

Did you mean the 31st of December OP?

SwimmingInTheBlueLagoon · 20/02/2018 23:13

You messed up. People harping on about it won't help now.

So op please please make sure this puppy gets re-homed through a reputable rescue (best option is breed rescue if they'll take - hopefully they will have capacity). Please accept (and I hope from your posts you do) that you've made the expensive mistake and don't let puppy suffer any longer for it (as dogs sold on gumtree/preloved etc often do)

I'm really worried that, particularly with the breed, your DS could break this puppy's spine. Please keep them separate at all times, it wouldn't take much for him to do it.

To anyone else reading this thread, who doesn't understand others harsh reactions - the key reason people believe this puppy was bought on a whim, is the breeder does not give a sh*t now she's got her money. If you find a well respected breeder, who actually cares for their dogs (breeding bitches and their puppies), then they will include in the contract that the dog must be returned to them regardless of situation. Really exceptional ones may even offer full or part refund for so long after, to ensure you don't try to recoup costs by flogging on gum tree or the like. My cockers breeder, as well as the contract saying she would take that puppy back at anytime in it's life, gave a 1 month full money back guarantee on the puppy, because she wanted to 100% sure you'd take it back to her rather than sell on to try and recoup costs (she had also vetted me rather thoroughly as a potential owner). Also a good breeder would not have allowed the puppy to go into a home where there is already a young child, expecting his first sibling and the potential owner is heavily pregnant - a good breeder would have said now wasn't the right time, that op needed to see how her ds dealt with the new baby and how she coped with this baby (each baby can be very different after all). Then think about a puppy once things were settled.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2018 23:15

A well respected wouldn’t have entertained the OP in her current situation.

HuskyMcClusky · 21/02/2018 00:15

Oh, stop with the ‘I really did research it really hard’ wide-eyed bullshit.

You didn’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have brought a dog into your home at a bloody ridiculous time, and you wouldn’t have bought from a dodgy breeder. (Do you even know how microchips work?)

You’ve got no time or money for training or to get professional advice and you have a 4-year-old and a new baby. You were utterly selfish getting a puppy.

I have zero sympathy for you, it’s not good enough that ‘you tried’, and you need to get off the internet looking for attention and get that vulnerable animal to a dachshund rescue.

Disgusting.

SuperBeagle · 21/02/2018 00:22

This sounds a lot like another recent thread which was banned because the OP was a PBP...

cista · 21/02/2018 00:25

Poor dog. I hate these kind of threads. Op, please learn from this and NEVER get another pet. SadAngry

PersianCatLady · 21/02/2018 00:25

A decent breeder will take the dog back so it's not a decent breeder
I agree. The microchip thing is just an excuse.

I am surprised that the breeder doesn't want the puppy back because I would have thought that they could sell the puppy again and make even more money.

It almost makes me wonder if there is a reason why the breeder doesn't want the dog back??