Puppy’s first night - what do I do about the crying???

[AnonimityMary]

The puppy training book i have says to ignore it but he’s been crying and barking constantly since I put him to bed f45 mins ago. He is in a crate in the living room with lots of blankets and toys.

Is it right that I shouldn’t go back in no matter what? Should I leave a light on (I haven’t)? The radio? He’s so sad it’s breaking my heart.

I've done it the nurturing way and I've done it the tough way. With one pup I left her to cry for two nights, by the third she was fine ( although the household was extremely distressed) Another pup I was much softer, slept near him etc and it took far longer for him to settle on his own. I must say that it didn't seem to make any difference to the overall attachment of the dogs

Bless him. He'll settle in no time. During the day, make sure and shower him with attention, then he will know the difference between night and day. Day is for fun. Night is for sleep.

PS Everyone else who posts here will tell you the complete opposite.

I hope you and your new puppy had a good night in the end. When we brought home our puppy 5 weeks ago we put him in his crate with his cushion from his breeder and soft toys but he didn’t want those he wanted my presence, so I ‘slept’ on the sofa next to his crate and when he cried I’d reassure him and put my fingers in the crate, got him up to go outside and do his business and back in with a chewy treat with kibble in it, and let him settle back down. The following day he became more used to his crate, being left alone in it to sleep, and in the evening we left a small light on and we went to bed. Unless he desperately needs to toilet he sleeps all night. There is absolutely no way I could ever have left him alone crying that first night.

The theory behind cry-it-out in puppies is exactly the same as in babies. Learned helplessness.

Neonatal stress can cause long term behaviour problems. Your pup is 8 weeks old and has been separated from his mum and siblings and isolated alone overnight. He needs comfort and reassurance to build his confidence, not abandonment. You need to be with him until he settles OP

We have done nothing but cuddle him and play with him since he woke and he is just being so gorgeous. I can even forgive the fact he seems to think our rug is his toilet!

Day is for fun. Night is for sleep.

Which is exactly why leaving them in a terrified and distressed way prevents conductive sleep at night time! No animal sleeps easy when distressed. A sleeping human nearby, shows its safe (unless you've got a puppy who was deprived of positive human interaction before you got them, a relaxed human will make them feel safer) and that night time is for sleeping. Then in the day they play with their human, so learn human awake and playful in day but asleep at night and can do that without overwhelming fear.

All the best respected behaviourists say not to leave the pup to cry.

I'm shocked how many people think distress is good for sleep and behaviourists are wrong!

Also OP both of mine went through the first night without needing a wee but did need a wee on subsequent nights for a few weeks. First day in a new home they tend not to drink as much, hence their little bladder not being too full. That was another good reason for being close, they whimpered, were picked up whisked outside, wee immediately (since they were desperate by the time it woke them up), quiet praise, carried straight back to bed, human back to sleep, puppy straight back to sleep, since there was no distress caused to stop them going straight back to sleep.

Swimming, that makes no sense whatsoever. If their bladder isn't full, why are you bringing them out to pee?

OP I'd like to point out Veterinari who posted directly before your last post is an actual vet.

Anonymity. Mostly, you will find people telling you the opposite of what I would advise (I'm 40 and have had many dogs and puppies through my hands - I also grew up on a farm so have experience of cats, sheep and cattle).
99% will tell you the opposite of what I'm advising.
Tis all up to you and what actually works well for you and puppy.
In my opinion, a couple of nights, and he'll just know that night-time is his safe time for sleeping. Day-time is fun and play and cuddle time. They learn very quickly.

along I said they were desperate!!!!!!!!

They didn't go out first night because they hadn't drunk as much, in a new home. After that first night they woke up desperate for a few weeks.

I was just making op aware that just because he made it through last night without a toilet break, doesn't mean his bladder is necessarily able to cope all night, that it could be pup has drunk a little less on first day in new home, which is common place! So his little bladder may be too full tonight and then a wee break will be necessary!

My sibling, a paediatrician, advised me that children couldn't get nappy rash when they were teething. Until they had a child of their own.
Just because someone is a vet, doesn't make them an expert on what YOUR life is going to be like with your pet. If you're going to be the kind to want them sleeping in bed with you, fair enough. If not, fair enough. A vet doesn't qualify you as knowing-it-all.

a couple of nights, and he'll just know that night-time is his safe time for sleeping. Day-time is fun and play and cuddle time.

Yes if nighttime has been low stress, not if left to cry in distress. By a few days in, of being left in distress, they will learn that no-one saves them and be quiet but not sleep easily.

And that's when you wake up to little puddles, until they can hold their piddles.

Swimming, have you ever owned a pet or an animal?

Gosh, this is all as controversial as Gina Ford vs attachment parenting. I thought I’d put those arguments behind me!

along but they have a damn good idea of what the latest thoughts in behavioural science are. No one knows it all, but I'd follow the advice of a vet before Joe Blogs down the road!

Along as you know from my posts I've owned 2 dogs (who I still have). I've also had 4 horses, guinea pigs and rabbits. All were kept to the latest welfare standards.

Puppies do not cry in distress all night. They might whimper for 20 minutes, then they are off to sleep.

And that's when you wake up to little puddles, until they can hold their piddles.

So you think they should have to wee in their bed and sleep in the puddle until they can hold their bladder?!?!?!?!?!?!

That's disgusting and will cause all kinds of toilet training issues!

How long did you keep the horses in bed with you for?

Eh no, because, I don't believe in crates. They have free roam of the kitchen and their own bed. If they need to piddle when they're puppies, they do not do it in their own beds. They'll do it just where you step into the kitchen first thing in the morning. Bless them.

Puppies do not cry in distress all night.

No one has said they cry all night. They cry until someone makes them feel safe or until they either learn no-one will save them or become to exhausted to cry anymore.

The same is true of human babies!

Says who?

along but you are telling op and myself, who both use(d) crates that we shouldn't take them out and leave them to piddle! So you are telling people that they should have their puppy piddle in their actual bed!

Or, they figure out, I'm in no danger here, time for sleep.