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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Puppy’s first night - what do I do about the crying???

111 replies

AnonimityMary · 24/11/2017 22:17

The puppy training book i have says to ignore it but he’s been crying and barking constantly since I put him to bed f45 mins ago. He is in a crate in the living room with lots of blankets and toys.

Is it right that I shouldn’t go back in no matter what? Should I leave a light on (I haven’t)? The radio? He’s so sad it’s breaking my heart.

OP posts:

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 24/11/2017 22:44

Well, get DH downstairs on the sofa and get the pup up with you.

Wolfiefan · 24/11/2017 22:46

Cornflake talks sense.

Ylvamoon · 24/11/2017 22:46

Don't let him cry... it's old school and cruel! Have a word with DH and move pup upstairs. Don't forget he IS a baby in a strange, unfamiliar environment.
(I raised several puppies and all started off with me sleeping downstairs with them.) You can keep crate/ bed for sleeping in one place and when pup is tired (day or night) guide him there.

LouiseBrooks · 24/11/2017 22:57

.He can’t sleep in our room because... DH.

Not really sure what the issue is with DH but he can deal with it for a day or two surely?. Pup has been taken from his family and is scared. He doesn't understand that you will be fab to him once he is used to you.

We always slept with our pups first couple of nights and they always settled after that and we never had issues.

Old school is not necessarily right.

Nomoretears56 · 24/11/2017 23:01

Your dog should always see her bed as a safe comforting place, I know that when the grandkids come over and she's had enough then she'll go to bed in our room. It's her safe place and that wouldn't have happened if I'd allowed her to get stressed and anxious when she first came to us.

Wolfiefan · 24/11/2017 23:12

Mine was tired and desperate to get to her bed after a last wee tonight. I got the look of exasperated disgust because I was getting her clean water for her pen and not shutting her in it with a treat immediately.
You really won't be setting yourself up for a problem if the puppy sleeps by one or both of you.

Oops4 · 24/11/2017 23:12

I think first night is a bit much to leave him crying. I'd give him a few days to get used to you and your house etc then decide if you want to do a few nights of crying. When we brought first pup home I slept in the living room with him first night, second night we left him downstairs, third night he was in our room in a crate. I was adamant he wouldn't be in our room but we put a crate in the corner and he happily went in and slept without making a peep until we all got up. Bad enough doing sleepless nights with babies, was very glad to skip it with pup if I could! Now have pup 2 and we did one month with them both in crate in our room but have now moved them done to the kitchen. Not a peep once we moved them

ScreamingValenta · 24/11/2017 23:18

I slept on the sofa for the first three nights - I didn't get up when my pup cried, but I spoke reassuringly to him from across the room which calmed him down. I was able to leave him downstairs after that with no issues, other than getting up at silly o'clock so he had a chance to relieve himself.

dantdmistedious · 24/11/2017 23:19

Poor pup if it's because if your dh. Can you sleep in the soda with your spinal problems for reassurance?

Ermm · 24/11/2017 23:19

He's scared and needs cuddles and reassurance!! I slept downstairs with mine for three nights, then he was on my bed for three weeks then he decided he'd stay in his own suite (it's a crate with a bed in it and door open surrounded by pen with lots of blankets on the floor) and thats whats been happening ever since. If you leave him alone he probably will stop crying in an coulee of nights - but only because he's learnt that if he's upset and scared no one will help him :-(

Unless medical or other overwhelming reasons DH just has to suck it up in my view.

mehhh · 24/11/2017 23:45

Puppy is just a baby and is probably wondering where mummy is, will need lots of attention and snuggles with you to feel safe and comforted, could you sleep downstairs with him? Or bring the crate up stairs?

My puppy started in a crate but hated it she was always fine out of it, just needed a cuddle at the start they hate being alone I slept downstairs on a pull out for the first week or so... we had a massive fluffy teddy thing she would curl up in (warmed first with hot water bottle) .... (I loved the snuggles as well)

We went wrong with the crate, we would make her go in it (following books) but I think the crate should be somewhere they choose to go for their own space and sleep, so it's best to make it a happy place rather than a forced, sleep in here type thing

ScreamingValenta · 24/11/2017 23:47

All the advice I read at the time said leave pup to cry and howl - he'll get used to it - but I lived in a semi-detached house at the time, so could hardly put the neighbours through all that. I went with my instincts and stayed downstairs with him until he'd settled in. It caused no long-term problems. He's 11 now and has had the run of the house for years, but is used to sleeping downstairs and rarely ventures upstairs.

mehhh · 24/11/2017 23:48

Just to add --- especially on the first few nights etc completely new house smells etc etc he will need someone with him... trust me leaving him in a crate when upset and needing cuddles will make him reluctant to use it as he will see it negatively

Chippyway · 25/11/2017 00:09

I am absolutely shocked over the amount of people who have/would leave a puppy to cry by itself

You have just taken a baby away from it’s mother and siblings, along with all it’s familiar smells sights and sounds - you are complete strangers! He won’t feel safe and secure with you, he probably feels as if he’s in danger. And now you’re okay with leaving him to cry?!

I slept downstairs with my pup for the first two weeks. I then took her upstairs for a little while after that until we had formed a proper bond. I practiced leaving her for short amounts during the day - 10 minutes then 20 etc.

She is absolutely fantastic if she’s left. Sometimes she sleeps downstairs on her own other times I bring her up with me.

As for not being able to bring your puppy upstairs “because of DH” - then you shouldn’t have gotten a puppy if he isn’t willing to make sacrifices

dropthemic · 25/11/2017 00:25

When we got our pup the lady in the rescue centre said for the pup to sleep in our room for the first few nights as she had never been without her litter before so being alone would be too much for her. She did still whine even beside the bed so I relented and put her in the bed with me - she went to sleep within seconds! After a few days it was suggested we move her to where she would be sleeping downstairs and put something like the socks you had been wearing that day in with her. The socks worked a treat. She would always stop whining and snuggle up with them. She was an odd little pup,I once found her asleep in one of my trainers. So if you really can't sleep near the pup then I'd put some clothing you have been wearing into the crate and see if that helps.

Catsrus · 25/11/2017 01:46

My 6th pup (in 30yrs) is currently asleep downstairs with the rescue terrier. With every dog since the first I've either slept downstairs or had them in my room for the first few days / week / until settled. None of them have ended up permanently sleeping upstairs. That's for cats 😉. With the first pup we went by the book and had weeks of disturbed sleep and crying - my dh wouldn't have her in the bedroom and it broke my heart. I put my foot down after that. I still shudder at the memory 🙁.

SwimmingInTheBlueLagoon · 25/11/2017 01:57

Also do you want your pup to stop crying because he feels safe enough to sleep or because he realises there is no one to save him / he becomes too exhausted to keep screaming for someone to save him, from this terrifying ordeal.

My first slept in a crate in my bedroom (where I had planned to have him) and had no objections when i moved him downstairs later on.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 03:16

They're not being tortured to death! They're being left to fall asleep! If they're too young to be away from their mothers, then you shouldn't have them. After that, they are well capable of settling down for the night after 2-3 nights brief crying, getting used to surroundings. I've never seen a dog traumatised for having been left to settle itself for a couple of nights as a puppy until they just learn that night-time is sleep-time.
Shower them with love and affection and play and attention and touch during the day. But night-time is for sleep. Honestly, it's the best gift ever to give someone - dog or human. The ability to sleep.

CornflakeHomunculus · 25/11/2017 03:48

Being left to cry for hours is hardly conducive to sleep and there’s just no benefit whatsoever to leaving a puppy in distress. Being of a suitable age to leave their mothers doesn’t mean it’s not going to be a huge shock to suddenly be expected to sleep all night completely alone for the very first time in their lives. Staying close to the pup, both for comfort and very efficient night time toilet trips, is a far better way to get them into a decent sleeping routine than anything involving crying or upset.

Puppies actually go through a fear period between eight and ten weeks of age and during this time traumatic events can have a very lasting effect on them.

I’d highly recommend having a read of this blog post (written by a veterinary behaviourist) on the subject.

There’s no doubt that whilst some puppies left to cry do just learn to be quiet and settle down, the effect on others can be the exact opposite. Staying close to the puppy at first is not only easier for the owner but more humane for the puppy and far less risky in terms of impacting on their behaviour long term.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 05:30

A great big human staying close to a puppy is not anything like its mother. Just leave the puppy warm and enclosed and do regular pee checks and puppy will be fine after a few days. None of this nonsense.

FeedMyFaceWithBabyRuths · 25/11/2017 05:33

Does he need a wee would be my first thought?
Little puppies can't hold their bladder!
Go down and settle him again, just like a child.

AlongStoryShort · 25/11/2017 05:33

What is more important to the puppy is the affection and warmth it experiences during the day. That reassures the puppy. Then it is happy enough to just sleep at night. Yes, it might whimper for the first two nights, but that's because it's all new. When the puppy realises that daytime is for fun and night-time is for sleep, no problems ever.
I know.

Original poster

AnonimityMary · 25/11/2017 06:46

Thanks all, he actually stopped crying just afer i last posted, so about 22:40 and he’s only now woken at 06:40.

OP posts:

Sofabitch · 25/11/2017 07:03

You left him downstairs alone! All the books i read said to keep them in sight and slowly move them away to whwre you want them to sleep.

Puppies at this age can't last the night without needing the toilet.

Original poster

AnonimityMary · 25/11/2017 07:09

Well he did last the night without needing the toilet. No accidents in the crate at all.

OP posts:

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