Unwanted dog guest!

[songbird123]

Hello all!

I hope you lovely ladies can help.

I have a 3 children, youngest is 11 months, so crawling around getting into all sorts. I also have V friendly golden retriever. But not friendly at all with other girl dogs.

My problem is my in laws are coming to visit in about 5 weeks time. They have a v yappy hyper yorkie cross. This dog a girl, is not used to children, goes on their furniture, sleeps on the beds, and not properly house trained. It is their baby and totally spoilt.

I told them to please not to bring their dog this time. My husband has asked them to not bring their dog. But they refuse! They said if they can't bring their dog they won't visit us. for over a year we have had this problem. They will just turn up with their dog. My dog goes crazy, we end up having To shut her away or lock her outside. I'm forever having to tell my kids not to touch grans dog as its growling at my kids. I'm forever having to ask fil to take their dog off our sofa! And to top it off it pees on my floor and they don't pick it's poo up from our garden!

I said fine, if you want to be like that don't visit. But my husband doesn't want to cause waves as they have a v difficult relationship as it is. And mil would sulk for a year and we would have no contact if I put my foot down about 'no dog'. (So v tempting as would make for a lovely year!)

Why do people put their dogs before family? Why do some people think it's ok to just turn up with their uninvited dog?

Sorry for the rant!

Make it clear that the dog isn't invited. If they turn up with the dog then provide them details of local kennels or tell them to go home.
I have a dog BTW. But if I'm invited somewhere to stay I wouldn't dream of simply turning up with her.
Let them sulk!

I have dogs and children but will no way let another persons dog in my house if it behaved like your inlaws dog. Sod the difficult relationship your dh has with his mother, his relationship with you is more important and if that dog bit one of the children he would never forgive himself, and the relationship with his mother would then probably be over! Stick to your guns op and have a lovely year. 😁

I really just want to let her sulk! but so much stupid stuff has gone on over the last 12 years. We are only just back on talking terms.

I wouldn't dream of just turning up with my dog either! I think most people wouldn't. My mil is just a whole other crazy!

I'm going to look into local kennels. But I bet their dog isn't up to date with its jabs so kennels won't take her.

Maybe we will just be suddenly busy that week end!

I do love the idea of a mil free year!

I said the to my dh. What if one of the kids gets bitten? But he just gets all argumentative. Every time his parents are involved we just argue.

I think as my little one is now crawling and he is used to our friendly dog. She is so general with him. So he will crawl straight over to yappy dog and expect it to be the same. That's made me more worried. My other 2 are older and understand it's not a friendly dog.

My

Why should your dog be locked outside?!
Have you got a room you can segregate their dog into?

Personally, I’d message them now and say that now the youngest is crawling, you don’t want to risk any accidents from their dog in the house, nor any aggression between dogs and children, so they’ll need to keep their dog crated while at yours.

If they can’t bring one, no problem because you’ve got one you can borrow from a friend to use while the dog is at yours.

Can they rent a dog friendly place for them to stay for a few days?
No bloody way would I allow a dog to stay that would pee everywhere. And a dog that growled at my kids? You'd be absolutely stupid to allow it to stay.

You’ll need to tell your mil that her dog cannot come.

My girl dog is not good with other girls (that’s why the rest of my dogs are boys)

If your mother in law turns up with the dog, you’ll need to tell her to take her back to her house or leave her in the car as the dog can’t come in.

I’ve had to do this with friends.

I'd have a crate ready and say that's where dogs going. Or don't lock your dog away. Sure MIL will think differently if her little precious might get hurt

Tell them and dh if they bring the dog there are rules:

Their dog has shown it is stressed around children so it is either caged, in another room or on lead away from dc at all times. It is not allowed on furniture or in beds. It sleeps in their room in cage ( they provide cages). Your dog is allowed free roam as he is not a risk to the children and is trained to follow the rules.

Dh ensures garden stays poo free and clean up any indoor accidents immediately, throughly and without complaint.

Any deviation of the rules means they forfeit bringing the dog on future visits.

If your dh refuses to discuss with them tell him to come up with an alternative solution which prioritises his children’s safety which you agree with before they are allowed to visit again.

Second hand play pen. For her ddog!!
Or ask dh what is his position when your baby gets bitten? Will he side with mil or tell her it needs pts?

I am actually very angry (on your behalf op) that your dh doesn’t grow up and take the responsibility of telling his parents they aren’t allowed to bring their dog.
Why have you been left with this problem?
Your home and their dog aren’t compatible.
I have a dog, I don’t take it places where it’s not suitable, or where they might be unhappy/stressed.
I’m quite a strict dog owner, it’s not allowed upstairs or on the sofa in my home etc, but I always try and respect its comfort and security.
Why on earth is your dog (even putting aside you and your children) being made to suffer in order to accommodate their horrid dog?
Makes no sense to me.

The problem is your DH
He would rather risk chaos and the possibility of your dc getting bitten than stand up to his parents
Your Goldie could kill the other dog ( I have one and they look like teddies but are big powerful dogs), how will he handle the fallout from that?

I know we’re not in AIBU but YANBU!!

Sadly you have a DH problem not a dog problem. He hasn't yet clocked that his own nuclear family - you and your children - now take priority over his mum and dad in a direct conflict of choices.

You’ve invited them for Christmas?

Totally understand them wanting to bring the dog, fees for kennels would be expensive.

But the dog isn’t invited so they can’t bring it unless they agree to your terms.

Don’t put your dog outside

Tell them that because of the resident dog and children, their dog will need to be crated or in their bedroom at all times. If they can’t manage that, she'll have to stay behind. Bear in mind they probably won’t find someone with space for the dog this close to Christmas.

There's not one chance I would back down over this. The fact your DH dare not 'rock the boat' just proves they are extremely hard to deal with anyway. They can stay at home and be one less stress as far as I would be concerned.

This is one thing I really wouldn't mind falling out with the in laws about. If they do come, the second it snaps or growls at your children, pick it up by the scruff of the neck and pop it outside the back door. And lock the door. No argument, no explanation.
Tell the in laws to go clean up their dog muck or it will be going home in their luggage. And do it. They have NO respect for you taking over your home with an unwelcome animal that pisses in your house then they deserve the same rudeness back.