Issues with Puppy and 5 yo DD

HollyBollyBooBoo · 2015-10-20T20:25:08+00:00

Had our CVCS puppy for 3 weeks and things are really strained. The puppy is amazing as puppy's go, the best I have ever had but DD is really not adjusting well to having him here. I think mostly because he is doing things any normal puppy does - nipping, charging around, lots of energy etc. I'm also sure there is a bit of jealousy, it has been just DD and I for as long as she can remember and is not taking kindly to sharing me. Anyway, it all culminated tonight with DD in floods of tears saying she doesn't like the puppy let alone love him, she doesn't feel comfortable in her own home and she wants to go and live with Nanna. As you can imagine I was devestated and feel guilty and responsible for introducing the puppy and leaving my DD feeling like this. Any thoughts? Do we stick with him as DD is saying she wants him to go and I am in floods of tears at the thought of that and upsetting DD.

Mamia15 · 20/10/2015 21:29

Is she involved in helping with feeding, grooming and walking?

Please make sure your puppy has its own space where she can relax/sleep - quiet times are when you can focus on your DC.

Original poster

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/10/2015 21:33

Yes she gets involved in everything, and that gives me really mixed messages, she wants to be involved and wants me to take him upstairs and help tuck her in etc.

yes he has a crate in the kitchen and we've been through the fact that is his bedroom, we can't disturb him there etc etc. DD gets loads of 1-2-1 attention, especially this week as we're on half term.

OP posts:

Mamia15 · 20/10/2015 21:40

Sounds like you are doing the right things.

I think it is a matter of time and consistency - give it say a couple more weeks and then decide.

Wotsitsareafterme · 20/10/2015 21:40

Hi op - we have a now 6 month old cocker puppy. I have dds 3 and 6. They are split up at home by a baby gate. I thought the kids should have some space from the dog when they have their wind down time. So typically when I get in from work the pup is in the kitchen with me and they are next door in the living room. After tea he comes in with us heavily supervised and chastised if he jumps up or is too boisterous with them. We have been building up this time but I think they will need time apart every day for a good few months yet.
He is not allowed upstairs and they know their barbies etc are 100% safe in their bedroom.
I am a single parent so they are always with me for walks but they love that - I plan the longer ones around places they like and kit them out for puddles etc and we walk at their pace. I imagine it's not that that bothers the op dd though it's the manic puppy behaviour. Therefore I suggest containment and let dd come back to the puppy. Dd1 often sits by the baby gate stroking and singing to our pup.

Really hope that helps - dd1 is in love with a King Charles puppy at our puppy training class they are really sweet and less manic than my hooligan!

Original poster

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/10/2015 21:44

Great advice, thanks Wotsits. Maybe the puppy needs to be in the kitchen more and as you say I'll supervise him more when the 3 of us are together.

He is so adorable I and sitting here in floods at the thought of giving him up.

OP posts:

BirdyArms · 20/10/2015 22:35

I think puppies and young children are a tricky mix, but the puppy will grow up relatively quickly. Mine is 9 months and nippiness and general nutty behaviour have recently calmed down significantly. My dc are older (8 & 10) so it's been much more manageable for us but they have gone through periods of being absolutely sick of him. And I don't really blame them, he nips them a lot more than he has done to me, he's not the most affectionate dog (an aloof saluki) and has a very obvious preference for me over them. But he is turning into a lovely well behaved dog.

I think if you can stick it until the puppy is a bit older then you will be giving your children a great gift of growing up with a family dog. Sounds like he's a lovely puppy and hope you can find a way of making it work.

BirdyArms · 20/10/2015 22:36

I think puppies and young children are a tricky mix, but the puppy will grow up relatively quickly. Mine is 9 months and nippiness and general nutty behaviour have recently calmed down significantly. My dc are older (8 & 10) so it's been much more manageable for us but they have gone through periods of being absolutely sick of him. And I don't really blame them, he nips them a lot more than he has done to me, he's not the most affectionate dog (an aloof saluki) and has a very obvious preference for me over them. But he is turning into a lovely well behaved dog.

I think if you can stick it until the puppy is a bit older then you will be giving your children a great gift of growing up with a family dog. Sounds like he's a lovely puppy and hope you can find a way of making it work.

BirdyArms · 20/10/2015 22:37

I think puppies and young children are a tricky mix, but the puppy will grow up relatively quickly. Mine is 9 months and nippiness and general nutty behaviour have recently calmed down significantly. My dc are older (8 & 10) so it's been much more manageable for us but they have gone through periods of being absolutely sick of him. And I don't really blame them, he nips them a lot more than he has done to me, he's not the most affectionate dog (an aloof saluki) and has a very obvious preference for me over them. But he is turning into a lovely well behaved dog.

I think if you can stick it until the puppy is a bit older then you will be giving your children a great gift of growing up with a family dog. Sounds like he's a lovely puppy and hope you can find a way of making it work.