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The doghouse

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Original poster

Having wibbles...

22 replies

SmileAndNod · 12/10/2015 12:01

After thinking about getting a dog for about a year, and starting the process back in March by contacting a breeder we are now the stage where we will be visiting puppies this week (though very probably not allowed to handle them)

So after being desperate for this day to come, why am I having doubts? We have been preparing, reading, buying, researching. But I'm feeling a bit, well, scared I suppose.

What if it doesn't get on with the children? What if I can't keep the dog safe? What if it runs off and never comes back? What if we pick the wrong puppy? What if we're making the wrong decision in getting a dog in the first place?

Are the wibbles normal?

OP posts:

SweetLathyrus · 12/10/2015 13:13

I don't know if it its normal, Smile, but I certainly felt the same. I think it is because you have put so much thought in to it, and that is the best start your pup can have.

Girolle · 12/10/2015 15:00

Hi SmileandNod,

I am in a very similar situation to you having done aeons of research etc ( I remember dragging my family around Discover Dogs for HOURS last year when narrowing the breeds down).

I am thinking about every permutation so much that I have reached total paralysis for fear of making the wrong move. I worry about what I would do if my parents became ill ( I'm an only one) and all sorts of scenarios ( which I never contemplated as much when I had my 3 children).

It sounds like you and I both are aware of the commitment and challenges involved and I would hope that level of thought would make us good owners. As a friend said to me, there is no perfect time. We are so used to micromanaging everything these days, that sometimes you have to go with the flow even if it does turn everything upside down a bit in the early days.

I think it's a good sign you are not blasé about it. My thought process is, 'Down the line, will I look back on my life and regret never having had a dog in it?' and that helps me answer my own wibbles.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I feel like I am going slightly mad with thinking about it all. I suppose you just need to do it, then there will be no time for thinking as you'll be too busy ??. Good luck!

Original poster

SmileAndNod · 12/10/2015 17:07

I feel reassured that I'm not going mad! Thing is, i've owned a dog before first on my own and then he agreed to my husband becoming a member of the family. We had him for 17 years, but that was before we had three children and all the chaos that brings

I don't remember feeling this worried when getting him as a pup, but maybe that's because there weren't children involved or maybe I just wasn't as anxious in those days. I do have a tendency to over think stuff to the point that it stops me doing things

How far are you in the process girolle?

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AnotherDame · 12/10/2015 21:07

We got a pup this time last year. I had a bit of a wibble before but I also had puppy blues about a week or two in where I thought: "What have I done!?" But then the toilet training started to improve, he learnt a few more tricks, was generally all lovely and I couldn't imagine life without him! x)

Btw in my limited experience the pup will choose you!

Girolle · 12/10/2015 21:15

Your point about over thinking is exactly me too SmileandNod.

Subject to litter size etc and the waiting list, I could potentially have an opportunity of a puppy at the beginning of Dec. I'll know where I stand when the pups are born this week and then I'll have to make a decision. I think part of me is conscious of the slightly manic run up to Christmas. However, on the other hand we would have have the holidays free of the school run and routine etc so we could focus on the puppy's routine and training.

The big ( and embarrassing ) block for me is that I think my parents will completely freak out. They are not big on animals and I can just see it being another issue. They thought I was mad when we had a third child but they wouldn't be without her now. I'm an only one as mentioned earlier so there is no sibling to talk them round. They live about 1.5hrs away and I can't ever imagine being able to visit them with a dog ( the irony being that they love going on big long walks). I'm 43 FFS and used to be a City lawyer and look at me now - like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

I am sure when you visit those puppies, it will all become much clearer. Let me know how you get on and hopefully there will be words of wisdom from those who had a similar mindset and are through the other side!

Original poster

SmileAndNod · 14/10/2015 17:34

Will do! You sound very familiar to me then girolle same age. same number of children (sadly not a lawyer though), still look to parents for approval

I'm actually feeling very nervous about the visit. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because we won't get to hold them and therefore I'm not confident in making the right decision. The pup needs not to be too bossy but not afraid to hold its own in a house with three noisy children

Been feeling really down about the whole thing today. Ironically getting a dog is supposed to help with my MH well-being!

OP posts:

TrionicLettuce · 14/10/2015 18:56

I'd say it's pretty normal to be having doubts, I always do!! Plus the "What the fuck have I done?" moments once the puppy is home

My last puppy was from the same breeder as two of my other dogs, I know her well and we talk regularly. I was waiting for him long before she'd even settled on a stud to use (she had a shortlist of two, both of whom I liked very much) and I still had a bit of a wibble when it came to actually bringing him home.

If you're worried about picking a puppy yourself then ask the breeder for help, they may suggest which one they think would suit you the most or narrow it down to a shortlist for you to pick from. They'll know the puppies best and will be able to give you a much better idea of which are likely to suit your family than you will be able to tell from a single visit.

Noitsnotteatimeyet · 14/10/2015 22:29

I'd done masses of research before getting our pup - had gone to see the breeder before the litter was even conceived - but I had such a big wibble that when she phoned to say the puppies were born and there would be one for us that I nearly said 'no'.... Looking now at my unbelievably gorgeous dog who we all adore I find it hard to believe that if I'd said no he'd now be living with another family ..

Original poster

SmileAndNod · 17/10/2015 21:12

It's the eve of our visit and I'm feeling very scared indeed. We have asked for assistance in picking a pup as we're not going to be able to tell personalities in a short visit. Will update tomorrow.

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KittiesInsane · 17/10/2015 21:14

Good luck! What breed are you going for?

DD is currently desperate for a dog and says she'll never forgive us if we finally get one just before she leaves home.

Original poster

SmileAndNod · 18/10/2015 06:48

It's a b,agle. Actually the children aren't that desperate yet which is a good thing in case we don't decide on one. I'm still wibbling.
Have been awake since 4 - don't know if it's excitement or nerves!

OP posts:

honeyroar · 18/10/2015 12:53

Good luck. Bear in mind that puppies are hard work. They can be clingy or hyper as puppies, they will go through a boisterous stage and a playful biting stage which you will have to manage. You will have a lot of training to do (house training, socialising, basic commands etc). Try and find a good puppy class in your area and enroll ASAP so you have back up if need be. Once you've got through all that and done the work you'll have a lovely family pet that you will all adore for years.

LumelaMme · 18/10/2015 13:03

What honey says above: expect lots of hard work and train, train, train.

It does all settle down eventually. I can't imagine going back to not having dogs: it is all worth it once you're past the puddles on the floor, bitten ankles and chewed slippers.

JohnCusacksWife · 18/10/2015 13:37

I think what you're experiencing is completely normal. We had a dog for 15 years and are now considering whether to get another one. Part of me is desperate for another dog but part of me is still scared despite being an experienced dog owner. Our old boy was so perfect and I knew him inside out. The thought of getting to know a new dog is daunting. Will a new dog ever measure up to our old one? Will I love it as much? There's a big part of me that kind of wishes someone would just leave a dog on our doorstep and then we'd have to get on with it! The older I get the more I overthink things and find big decisions paralysing.

honeyroar · 18/10/2015 14:44

Every dog I've had I've loved as much as the one before. They've all been different, both in breeds and character, but they were all without exception, wonderful. Every time a dog goes it takes a bit of your heart, but the next dog you have gives you their heart to help fix it. It's just going to take a bit of settling in time.

Did you ever see the thing about a Dog's Legacy? Something about when you lose a dog it can only leave one thing behind in it's will, and that's for you to pass on the wonderful home and love you gave him to another dog in need. I think it's nice.

Original poster

SmileAndNod · 18/10/2015 16:29

We've had our visit. Oh my, they are gorgeous. Completely squidgable, soft - all big brown eyes and pink tummies. We got to be cuddled and licked and nibbled. We are completely in love.

So. We've paid a deposit and we are going back to choose our pup in the next week or so! Squeeee we're getting a dog

I do hope that my old dog doesn't mind. He had a lovely life and I hope he doesn't mind another dog sharing us. I will always miss him.

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JohnCusacksWife · 18/10/2015 17:03

Oh honeyroar, you've made me cry. Of course you are right. I remember feeling the same when I found out I was pg with DD2. How could I ever love someone else as much as I loved DD1? And of course I did! I just need to pick a dog and get on with it. Scouring the rescue pages (again....) as we speak.

BestIsWest · 18/10/2015 19:34

Tear in my eye here too. We lost our beloved boy in August and put down a deposit on a puppy yesterday. I am terrified frankly. I'm not sure we're doing the right thing at all even though I've had dogs all my life. I know in the long run it will be fine but at the moment I just want my lovely, good natured, well behaved boy back.

JohnCusacksWife · 18/10/2015 19:47

Best, that's it, isn't it? What I really want is to have my gorgeous old boy back. But that can never be so I have to move on.

honeyroar · 18/10/2015 20:25

Sorry I made you cry. You all sound lovely dog owners, your future dogs will be very lucky.

Smilesndnod good news. Can't wait to see the pictures.

WellyMummy · 18/10/2015 20:43

I lost my pack leader in July, just reading of others' losses brings a tear, or two, to my eye!
I don't think it's disloyal to get another dog when you've lost one, I think it's a tribute to the dog that you've lost that they meant so much that you want to love another.
Meanwhile I will enjoy reading of others' adventures with small paws. No puppy for us for a few more years we will enjoy the three woofs that are enjoying the log fire so much that they won't move away despite being too hot!

Girolle · 19/10/2015 21:17

SmileandNod, that is fantastic news! So pleased for you. Sounds like you will be the perfect owners and you can now concentrate on looking forward to welcoming the new member in your family. My DH gave me an ultimatum that I either went for it this time or there would be no dog as he knew I would continue to dither and agonise. It helps to crystallise my thoughts somewhat! Good luck with your gorgeous new pup.

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