Oh God the dog thinks he can talk!

[insanityscatching]

Eric is demanding to say the least but it's manageable with exercise, training and puzzles. If he gets bored he's like a dog on a mission to annoy as quickly as possible because frankly he doesn't care whether the attention is good or bad so long as he gets attention.
His latest craze is to talk to me. He sits staring at me until I acknowledge, if I don't acknowledge he whines until I ask him what he wants. Then I give him a list of alternatives and he barks to indicate his choice. It's quite useful when he has run out of water and it's good when he lets me know what toy he wants (although he could fetch them himself) but his demands for ham, walkies and bed drive me mad and he just whines until I offer the right choice although he does give in when I tell him no ham/walkies/bed.
Any ideas?

Enter him into Britains got Talent?! That's awesome!

Ddog sis in front of me, stares at me and whines very quietly until I ask what she wants. If it's 'dinner' she tilts her head to one side and wags her tail, if it's 'water' she shakes all over, if it's a walk she barks three times when I say 'do you want to go for a walk?' and I swear it sounds just like 'Yes I do!'. She always does the same thing for each question and if I don't ask the right question is insufferable until she eventually gives up and goes away....

Queen Eric does that pesters until offered the right choice and if I give him the ball instead of the badger when he's asked he barks until I get it right. It's amusing for about ten minutes a day but unfortunately he doesn't stop after ten minutes.

My dog can talk. She very rarely barks but will offer a monosyllabic bark to a preferred option:

Me: Do you want to listen to the Moral Maze?
Dog: Silence with head tilted in sympathy.
Me Do you want some chicken?
Dog: Woof.

My dog says "hello" to me every morning - I really ought to record it

Eve, my dog does that when I come home. It's like a drawn out "Ha-rooo" sound. It's only me that he says it to because he loves me best

Insanity, Eric sounds like a very intelligent, if irritating, hound. Congratulations

Oh yes we get the ha-roo too that must be universal dogspeak then Eric's a PITA a lot of the time it's a good job I love him really

Gawd i think i love eric the dog we taught our dog to speak not literally obviously but i think he was hit for barking before we got him so didnt bark or if he did he cowered so he barks on command.

He also does a growly dance combo when i ask if he is hungry

Mine got stroppy last night. Shopping was being delivered and he was having a good old bark at the driver. I said "Murphy hush" to which Murphy went quiet for a second then made a noise that sounded for the world like "no!".
Delivery guy was in bits. He said his dog answers him back as well.

He does do similar though, sits at your feet and whines whilst you run through a list of biscuit/wee/drink etc and he barks on the one he wants.

Patch does a meaningful stare when he wants dinner. If I ask him if he wants dinner, he does a happy dance and gallops to the food container (he's a horse, you see). If I don't ask, he whines. If I ignore that, he jumps gently and puts 2 paws on my shoulder.

If I ask if he wants to go out, he puts his head down and looks dejected if he doesn't want to.

He does a happy yowl if I come home and he wants a stroke.

My cat has been getting bored in the early hours lately. She has a lot to say about it around 4am. She likes to play fetch with her toys in the dark.

If I'm nagging anyone LurcherLil walks round behind me saying "yeah yeah yeah yeah". No wonder nobody takes me seriously!