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The doghouse

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Original poster

Should choice of dog be a whole family decision?

28 replies

Canshopwillshop · 21/09/2014 21:58

Me, DH, and DS would love another labrador as we recently lost our old black lab. DD (9) is saying she doesn't want another labrador, she wants something different. I can't believe that she would not love a lab pup if we were to go ahead but I feel uneasy about it.
We wouldn't get another black lab, we would go for a different colour.
In reality it will be me who is going to be with the dog all day and the one doing all the training etc.
Question is should we press on regardless with our preferred choice or what ...?

OP posts:
EdYouKateShaun · 21/09/2014 22:05

I think the decision should lie with the parents in the house but I'd want to know her reasons for wanting a different breed. Is she made to go on long walks in all weathers and get 9 year old self is fed up? Was you old lab really bouncy and in your face? Does someone she knows have a different breed that she likes?

tabulahrasa · 21/09/2014 23:05

Usually I'd say, parents always get to pick...but, I always get a completely different dog after one dies because I just can't stomach having one that looks like the one that's gone Blush

If it's for that reason I would at least consider other breeds, based purely on how I react though.

Wolfiefan · 21/09/2014 23:11

Why does she want something different? Does she have a certain breed in mind?

PitchSlapped · 21/09/2014 23:14

If shes got a good reason and has a researched breed in mind I would consider her request carefully. If she hasnt really thought about it carefully and cant argue her case, just get what you want.

Scuttlebutter · 21/09/2014 23:19

YY to what PitchSlapped said, but also to add that by the time you get this pup she may be nearly 10, and bear in mind she'll prob be leaving home at 18, by which point the dog will still only be middle aged. You will have it a lot longer than she will be at home for. Also some breeds are considerably more expensive to run than others in terms of issues like grooming, healthcare etc - it's fair to raise these points that she may not have considered (and as a 9 year old, rightly wouldn't have thought about).

Original poster
Canshopwillshop · 22/09/2014 07:22

Edukate - Initially we were going to get a dog to be with old dog and we were looking at labradoodles. Friends of ours have one and they are meant to be low shedding etc. these friends include one of DD's best friends so this is probably a factor and she has now got a labradoodle in her mind. However, now we have lost old dog, I just want another labrador.

Tabulahrasa - initially DD said it was because she didn't want a dog which would remind her of old dog but I explained that if we went for a completely different colour there wouldn't be too much familiarity. She then said she just didn't want a lab and can't explain why.

OP posts:
soddinghormones · 22/09/2014 08:13

When we were discussing which breed to choose ds(16) wanted us to get a border collie as that was what my parents had when he was little. He went on and on about it but we vetoed a BC because I knew how much exercise and stimulation they need and didn't think a suburban lifestyle would be suitable plus he would probably not be living at home for the majority of the dog's life. Once we brought the puppy we chose home he was smitten despite it not being a collie and I suspect your dd would be the same.

tabulahrasa · 22/09/2014 08:50

I know you said it would be a different colour...that wouldn't be different enough for me.

If you think it is just, but I prefer a labradoodle like we were talking about, I'd ignore it, if it is to do with grieving I'd think about letting her get a say - just because, it's hard when you lies a dog , especially at that age.

But ultimately it is your dog so you need to be happy with it.

tabulahrasa · 22/09/2014 08:51

Lose not lies, don't know what happened there, lol

firesidechat · 22/09/2014 09:03

I can sort of understand why your daughter wouldn't want another lab.

My mum has had guide dogs for years and they have mostly been labs and retrievers. They were lovely, well behaved dogs, but for some unexplained reason I would never have a lab myself. Boredom possibly?

There are lots of fantastic breeds out there and it might be fun to have something different.

Original poster
Canshopwillshop · 22/09/2014 12:25

Soddinghormones - thanks, it's good to hear that it worked out for you and your DS, I am really hoping the same will happen with my DD.

Tabulahrasa - yes, I really need to get to the bottom of why she is against another lab.

Fireside - thanks. Yes, I wonder if she thinks the breed is a bit boring. We adopted our old lab aged 11 so obviously liked the quiet life. I am hoping that if she sees some pups she might change her mind.

OP posts:
insanityscratching · 22/09/2014 13:18

Perhaps she has visions of a lapdog? I think at 9 she's probably aware that the cute little puppy won't stay little for very long and would like something smaller. We have a shih tzu/poodle cross, dd (he's her dog) was very insistent that we had a small cute dog (we wanted small anyway) There is so much marketing of clothing and accessories with pugs on now I wonder if that is what's behind it.

ChippingInLatteLover · 22/09/2014 13:30

Sorry to hear about your dog Flowers

In my world, parents make the decisions - end of. I'm all for input and discussion, but it's not a democracy :)

However, I can see that a lab isn't as interesting/much fun/engaging perhaps as something like a cockerpoo or even a labradoodle. They are smaller, both are more bouncy in a manageable way for a 9 yo.

It's all very well showing her the pups and winning her over by doing that, but lab pups grow like weeds on speed - it wont stay small and cute for 5 minutes, then you are back to a big dog who will be more bolshy than the one you just lost.

I can see why for adults labs are a good dog, I can see why for children they're a bit solid and not so much fun.

Original poster
Canshopwillshop · 22/09/2014 18:19

Insanity, yes she would love some tiny little teacup type dog but that is definitely not happening!! We have 2 cats she can cuddle in that way (I'd like to see her try and dress them up though!).

Chipping - thanks, you've put both sides down well - the child's perspective and ours.

Decisions decisions ...

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/09/2014 18:55

My 9 year old and her friends are into all these little pug/chihuahua type dogs they could put in a handbag - not happening !!

mrslaughan · 22/09/2014 20:53

No, I think the parents make the decision. At 9 - yes she will interact with it, but she won't be it's primary carer., plus at 9 I would be worried that she was influenced by trends, but can't fully grasp all the aspects that you take into account, when making a decision about a dog and what breed.

I told my husband on the weekend that I will be making sole decision on our next dog, as I do everything.

tabulahrasa · 22/09/2014 21:46

Oh if it's because she wants a little dog to carry round and not about grief I'd ignore that if you want a lab, lol.

Though, how about a toller? Smaller than labs, still retrievers and a bit more cute and fluffy.

I mean I like the way labs look, but they're too solid to be cute in a toy dog way.

hmc · 22/09/2014 21:50

In our house it is me who decides on what breed of dog - because I do 90% of the walking, feeding and general care.

Original poster
Canshopwillshop · 22/09/2014 22:01

Tabulahrasa, I'm off to google a toller - not heard of it!

Hmc - same here being the person doing most of the looking after. Problem is I am not confident enough to completely take the lead on this.

OP posts:
soddinghormones · 22/09/2014 22:05

Voila! A Toller Smile

Should choice of dog be a whole family decision?
hmc · 22/09/2014 22:08

My friend has a toller - he is a nice dog but a bit nervy

Mmeh · 22/09/2014 22:16

I think it might just be a case of your dd fancying a change and the allure of novelty, which will of course wear off in time! This is fine if you're upgrading your old phone but not necessarily when looking for a new dog.

Op I think the final and overriding choice should be given to the person who does the most work with the dog. If you are used to labs you will have the benefit of experience if you get another one.

Mmeh · 22/09/2014 22:17

By the way, we own a fox red lab. I defy anyone not to fall in love with one!

Original poster
Canshopwillshop · 23/09/2014 08:04

Sodding - that dog is gorgeous Smile. Still quite rare in the UK though apparently.

Mmeh - it is a fox red lab I'm after! I think they are beautiful.

OP posts:
DontPutMeDownForCardio · 23/09/2014 08:12

Even if the dog is another colour its still a lab so will be very similar in looks to the old dog. I wouldn't get the same again I can see where she is coming from. Labradoodles are not that different to labradors though so it sounds like she hasnt really got any solid reasons. It might be that she's just not ready for a new dog yet and doesn't know how to say it?

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