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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

My dog went for my 18 month old

143 replies

tobytoes · 07/01/2014 19:10

I have two Bichon Frise both have been spolit since ive had them,one is 8 and the other 7. Since having my baby they have been okay with her,just curious but never showed any sign of aggression atall. Now my daughter is getting older and has found her feet she has also realised we have the two dogs and will not leave them alone,she pulls their ears hits them all sorts,everytime I tell her off and I have showed her countless times how to stroke them nicely. Today she grabbed the older dog by his ears and would not let go I was shouting and trying to get her hands off him and the dog went for her just as she released her grip,I managed to pull her up as i already had hold of her hands. My question is what do i do? This is not my dogs fault and my husband is all up for shipping them off to his mums to live. What would you do?

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EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 07/01/2014 20:56

Good for you for taking the advice, tobytoes.

Can you make a special corner for your dogs in the kitchen, maybe a couple of beds and some treats / toys they can only gave when in there?

Casmama · 07/01/2014 21:05

I think it would be a kindness to your dogs to give them to your MIL. It would also be safer for your DD.

While I totally understand why you want to keep them it is requiring compromise of the dogs quality of life and your DDs access in her home so that you get the benefit of keeping the dogs.

Original poster

tobytoes · 07/01/2014 21:06

I have just found a stairgate in the flippin shed that fits my door. (Feeling a bit of a prat now) Its up just need hubby to tighten it. My dogs have a big bed they share downstairs and ive just moved it into the kitchen with all their toys. Toys which they havnt been able to have because my daughter thinks there hers.

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specialsubject · 07/01/2014 21:11

it's not your dogs' fault, it is yours. You've had a warning, with no harm done. You may not get another. You have been very lucky.

sort the house out so that the child can be kept safe and separate from the dogs. If the house is not big enough then you need to reduce its population.

RightInTheKisser · 07/01/2014 21:11

Great advice. I have a 15 month old child and a 5 year old dog. They are never together. I have stair gates on the baby's room, kitchen and a divider across the living room. The dog is a lazy arse which helps! She lays about wherever she is shut quite happily. We walk as a family every day. She is allowed in the living room if we are all in there under very strict supervision and isn't allowed in a million miles of DS if there is food about. She comes and hoovers up under the high hair once he has finished and I encourage him to throw food down to her when I am holding him so she thinks he is nice.

He strokes her through the gate sometimes which she loves but only when I am there. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a dog I wouldn't let him in the kitchen anyway, seems very stressful!

I was terrified of bringing him home to her. I cried a lot when she came home from dog sitters. She is great and has adapted beautifully. Dogs are very flexible! If your dogs wanted to bite her they would. This was just a warning.

Original poster

tobytoes · 07/01/2014 21:17

Thanks kisser makes me feel a bit better. Thinking back my dog was right by her face when she grabbed him and im sure your right,just a warning. Im listening to the warning mind and going to do everything I can from now on to seperate them. Everything is in place now just got to wait for dd and dogs to get up tomorrowand start gettimg use to it.

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NorksAreMessy · 07/01/2014 21:18

This is looking very positive. Dogs need their own space and the kitchen is a good one with toys/nest etc.

But please don't separate DD and DDogs all the time. Having dogs is one of the most positive experiences of my DC's childhoods. Yes you will need to supervise, but you can do this in a positive way t teach your DD how to be caring and respectful of all dogs, not just your own

(dog lover and owner of four little pooches, including half a bichon)

JugglingIntoANewYear · 07/01/2014 21:21

I would take up DH's suggestion and let the dogs go to his parents home for a while til DD is older. (But then I'm not a doggy person - more of a cat lover - but we do fine with no pets. We just borrow other people's for a quick cuddle/walk occasionally)

Original poster

tobytoes · 07/01/2014 21:23

Yes norks absolutely. I love my dogs to bits and tomorrow will be very hard...although at the moment the gate is open and my older dog has deceided to go to sleep in his bed in the kitchen. How would you suggest I help my dogs and baby interact?

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PeanutPatty · 07/01/2014 21:24

HoneyDragon your set up is very similar to mine. We all cohabit brilliantly.

HoneyDragon · 07/01/2014 21:28

You are not compromising the quality of their lives at all. They will happily accept a part time access to the fire place if it means a full time lack of ear pulling and eye poking.

Bahhhhhumbug · 07/01/2014 21:30

My dog (a quite nervous rescue dog) has never bitten a child or anyone for that matter but every single time a child comes to my house he is put behind the side gate where he has his own kennel and a run and a bowl of fresh water (given a treat too so he doesn't associate the arrival of children with' punishment'). So zero risk. The only time I break my own rule is when my 10 year old very quiet and sensible DGS comes to the house because I know he will completely ignore the dog as I instruct him to. But most children naturally want to stroke and fuss and play with a dog however much you tell them it's not a good idea.

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 07/01/2014 21:32

Norks is right - don't separate all the time, it wont help their relationship, hopefully DD will realise that the dogs ears aren't to be pulled etc. I have to say that i was going to come on and flame your behind but in all fairness you have done all the right things now and you haven't got hysterical and talked about rehoming the dogs. Once the dogs get used to their beds being in the kitchen then they will choose to go there for a break and that is the time to shut the stair gate, to keep your dd away from the dogs rather than the dogs away from your DD, if that makes sense. When the dogs are in the kitchen it is no go for your DD though, that way they will learn that this is their haven.

The key to their safe interaction is food of course - but she may well still be at the age where everything she has goes into her mouth? But getting your dd to offer the dogs treats is a good way, so she sits quietly with the treats and the dogs go to her.

Bahhhhhumbug · 07/01/2014 21:34

He also is allowed to play footbal/fetch etc with the kids when we go on the park under supervision of course but he is not nearly as wary or nervous when out in open spaces and besides is totally focused on getting the ball , not the kids then

HoneyDragon · 07/01/2014 21:37

I love watching dd get a biscuit and tell the dog to sit, lie down etc, it's such a pleasure, makes me proud of dog and proud of child.

Bahhhhhumbug · 07/01/2014 21:43

Sorry reading back my first post sounds a bit heartless. When I say I tell my DGS to ignore the dog I mean let the dog come to him and then pat him on the head whatever iyswim rather than approach him to stroke him. The dog doesn't like being approached or being cornered or loomed over, he goes rigid and on occasion has given a deep growl in this situation. I would say he has been mistreated definitely and he just seems more relaxed if people let him come to them and then he is fine. Like I say he has never bitten but with children I just wouldn't take that chance because (bless them) they don't always do as you tell them.

ChippingInWadesIn · 07/01/2014 21:44

I think your title contributed to the 'grief' you have been given by some posters. It really isn't an accurate description of what happened and dogs already get a 'bad rap' on MN, so things like that tend to rile people up.

I hope your 'plan' works OK. If not, maybe them going to your MIL's isn't such a bad idea, it doesn't sound like you have much space there to keep them separate really.

Original poster

tobytoes · 07/01/2014 21:57

Thanks for all the replies. Obviously I want what is best for my daughter and my dogs and I am going to try anythin I can to help this situation get better. I know this arrangement will work,and if im honest the key is for me to be more in control of my daughter. I have also been abit lazy with praise for my dogs aswell since dd has come along,shes still not sleepimg through the night and att is waking 3-4 times a night,she has top teeth coming in. I need to try harder.......and drink coffee!!!!!!!

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Original poster

tobytoes · 07/01/2014 21:59

I know my post sounds awful now reading it back,I was in a panic,my hubby had just got back from work and had my dd in the bath so I wrote it quickly as I always take over bathtime half way through and put dd to bed (still breastfeeding)

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PeanutPatty · 07/01/2014 23:17

Toby stop fretting. You have a plan of action. You sound like you want to give it your best shot and you will.

NorksAreMessy · 08/01/2014 19:31

How did you get on today, toby

My bichon is asleep and snoring with his nose resting on my leg and he wants to know :)

EasyToEatTiger · 08/01/2014 19:45

Get a babycage. You don't need to train anything to put a child in one. Until the child is big enough to climb out, everyone is safe. I found ours a godsend www.mothercare.com/Lindam-Safe-Secure-Fabric-Playpen/450914,default,pd.html You can get them much cheaper second hand!

mistlethrush · 08/01/2014 19:57

Start training your daughter properly now too - I've had a toddler and a dog and he never once pulled her ears or hurt her.

Original poster

tobytoes · 08/01/2014 22:49

Hiya all. Today was awful. Baby screaming because she wanted to go through the gate everytime i closes it,i had to goband take a breather on other side of the gate away from her because she just wouldnt stop.

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Original poster

tobytoes · 08/01/2014 22:53

This is all my own stupid fault. When my baby used to pat the dogs it was all very innocent and i thought it was cute and now she is literally pulling their tail hairs out. Ive felt very depressed today at how stupid ive been. Ive never really told my dqughter off ever. In 2011 my baby was stillborn at 39 weeks and ive felt so grateful to have my baby girl and ive spoilt her rotten and let her get away with alot.

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