Off to meet a new behaviourist tomorrow

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

Quite nervous, actually. We're meeting at 9.30 because of the heat. I've spoken to her on the phone, and she seems to understand his issues and wants to assess him tomorrow using her own dogs. She runs training classes for 'problem' dogs, so the idea is that we go tomorrow for assessment, and then take part in her obedience classes. Wish me luck

Thanks moose and Idirdog. You honestly can't know how much your kindness means to this anxious dog lover x

I sympathize about the stress. I have a dog that is fear aggressive towards men (my other doggie died recently btw). I am always a little tense when walking her. It is ok if men just walk pass, but if they speak to me or go to stroke her she barks and sort of lunges at their legs (no bites though). Even when I say she is afraid of men, a lot of men will persist and try to stoke her (dumb or what...must be a man thing ).

So walks are not as relaxed as they should be.

Great post moosemama, my feelings exactly.

I'm not familiar with the background to this but have you come across Lesley McDevitt's "Control Unleashed" methods of training?

controlunleashed.net/

Reading your post, and especially the description of the behaviourist and her methods reminds me of what I went through years ago with my fear aggressive dog and a behaviourist whose methods and approach just did not gel with me, and stressed me out and made me feel inferior as described above. I then came across Control Unleashed and it was a breath of fresh air, working almost as much on my own anxiety as my dog's.

I'm unfortunately without dog at the moment, but when the time comes to get another I will be training using Control Unleashed from the word go.

At the time, there was an active forum inspired by the book on Yahoo groups which Lesley actually participated in, and there are a few groups who train this way in hte UK - really worth checking to see if there's one in your area.

Good luck - and do not be bullied by this behaviuourist. If it doesn't feel right to you, it isn't.

Also meant to say, happy to chat more, so PM me if you like. Sending you massive hugs and support x

I rung the trainer this morning and told her I wouldn't be coming back, and that I just couldn't use such techniques on my boy. She was ok about it, although clearly thinks I'm a soft touch.

Thanks for the info, daimbardiva, I'll look that up x

Aw chickens. Feel so much for you, I think we are not unlike you and I!

Can you describe the incident that caused Jas to become fear aggressive? Was it just one incident? Just wondering that, if you detailed the events, the experts could maybe give very specific advice maybe you could see exactly what triggers your tension? Just a thought, don't worry if not.

I would say relax, I know that ain't easy if you are just not that sort of person.

I also tend to probably transfer stress in other parts oft life into resenting the restrictions of the dog sometimes (not at the moment as I love and adore him!!) but sometimes find it useful to see what other shit is going on first, even just fatigue.

Probably a load of old cobblers but you seem a lovely person trying hard.

Ps. We have a slip lead for our spaniel but don't jerk or yank him around, just find the thing so much easier to take on and off and then work hard on heel, or dh does anyway, more honestly! I genuinely hadn't viewed it as a negative training aid. If anyone has any advice regarding my sister in law buying a shock collar to control her dogs recall then I am all ears!!'

For you needa No shock, no prong, no choke

I have a fear aggressive dog, and have spent thousands (literally) on trainers, behaviourists, advice etc. Positive reinforcement, BAT, all of that - no help what so ever. I personally think that if it is a genetic trait inherent in the dog you largely have to live with it and just find a routine that suits them.

My DH has had the best results of anyone with the dog. He is very calm, and not even slightly bothered or stressed the problem. He simply holds the dog very firmly facing away from the other dog. I'm not sure if it is the fact the dog can't easily move, or that he feels that someone else is in charge, but whatever it is he doesn't kick off. When I walk him he does!

Probably no help, but just wanted you to know that it is hard, and even the experts don't have all the answers. Don't waste money on a trainer if you don't like them, their methods, or if they aren't making any progress.