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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Really need to do something with the dog.

133 replies

Dogneedsahome · 29/05/2012 16:59

I have a staffy, or rather it's my dp's and always has been. We have had the staff since he was 14wks. I'm not a dog person never have been and my DP knows this. When we got him we lived in a flat but had our own massive garden about 150m x 40m so really big for him and the kids (we have two, very young)

we talked it over at length for months before we got the pup as he had always wanted one. That it would be my dp's, he would walk it everyday despite our large garden, as we also lived close to a park. He would pick up all poo's & pay any vets bill etc. as I said I'm not keen on dogs as I didn't grow up with them and I just prefer cats (we have one cat also) I worked part time, my DP full time.

Fast forward 2 years, we have moved house (been here a year now) we have a significantly smaller garden we both gave up our jobs so we could live here. The distance to commute wouldn't be worth the money we'd earn to stay in our jobs. My DP has been looking for work constantly and have finally got one and starts soon.

Problem is:
he stopped walking the dog way back when we lived in our flat probably about 2months after we got him the novelty wore off. It wasn't so much a problem as we had a big garden then. He hasn't kept up with flea treatments. I am fed up of being bitten fortunately they only seem to bite me though. He hasn't trained the dog, it doesn't know sit, no, paw, or any of the obvious. I've tried walking the dog a few times when I've felt sorry for it, but as he not used to being walked he pulls and it's really hard for me. The dog has eaten so many of mine or the kids things which my DP has not replaced though he said he would, which is frustrating enough.

We argue constantly with him not walking the dog, not flea treating him after a lot of nagging he brought some cheap supermarket stuff but it didn't work. You can now just see them covered over him(he's white) and i feel sorry for the poor thing) I nag to take him to the vets but he won't. The dog doesn't leave our garden for weeks at a time unless it's to come inside at night as I don't want him in to infest our home. Again.
Him not picking up the dog poo's, as I said we now have a tiny garden and with two kids it's disgusting.
I'm pregnant and due in a couple months, so with 3 small kids soon and my DP starting work soon I'm not going to cope I'm angry with my DP and the situation it's got to.

He a lovely dog, soft and playful, just my DP is lazy and too tight to pay for him. I don't need to be flamed for this, I'm at the end of my teather already and have coped as best i could. and am just looking for advice as to where is the best place to rehome him. As its obvious he'd be better off elsewhere.

OP posts:
AllOverIt · 30/05/2012 15:57

This situation is really sad. Your DP sounds like a waste of space. What's he like with your kids?

No way I could sit back and see any animal being neglected in this way. And it IS neglect. Sad

midori1999 · 30/05/2012 16:04

Situations like this thread are one of the reasons if people want a dog, the whole family must be in agreement and be prepared to take responsibility. If you weren't prepared to do that then you shouldn't have got a dog.

What sort of person sits back and watches a dog suffer because they don't want to do something? (eg. walk the dog in this case) Angry

Original poster
Dogneedsahome · 30/05/2012 16:14

DP back from vets and has now got something called stronghold which is suppose to be strong and not wash off etc. has to take it every 4 wks, so I can only see how it goes.

OP posts:
Ephiny · 30/05/2012 16:16

Poor dog :(

I'm not sure why you'd look 'ridiculous' walking with your kids and dog, lots of parents do this Confused. And surely the welfare of the dog matters more than how you look anyway?

And yes we understand that you want to rehome (and I think the fostering sounds a great idea if someone can be found) but you have to understand that there are not a queue of good homes out there waiting to take on a dog like this, or indeed lots of vacant rescue kennels, so it might not happen instantly.

You don't have to run around at the park if you're not able to - you can keep the dog on his lead, in fact this would be a good idea if he hasn't been taught recall yet!

Original poster
Dogneedsahome · 30/05/2012 16:21

I can barely manage to walk on my own, let alone try an take a strong dog that pulls incredibly hard for a walk. I am not going to put my back out completely for a dog, no matter how many times anyone will say, he is not my dog. I have a support band i have to constantly wear and physio I have to do, to even manage what I can do. Walking him myself. Not an option. Even without a toddler in tow.

OP posts:
Ormiriathomimus · 30/05/2012 16:24

Poor bloody dog.

I don't see it having much of a future.

Original poster
Dogneedsahome · 30/05/2012 16:24

ephiny sorry I was responding to someone who said I got the dog as some sort of status thing, which to me would be ridiculous, and why I thought it would be.

OP posts:
nightswimmer · 30/05/2012 16:26

Staffies are lovely dogs that have got a undeserved bad reputation from being made fashionable as a 'tough street dog'. they are not like that at all, they are lovely and goofy if not treated badly.
Is there not anyone on mumsnet who would consider taking him? I have two already and not in UK or I would offer. Anyone, considering it and needing a nudge? There must be someone suitable reading this who could take him on and give him a good life.

maddiemostmerry · 30/05/2012 16:29

Actually op, I think you do have to justify why your non working DP cannot walk your family pet.
When he does start work, you could pay a dog walker. After all a dog is nothing compared to the cost of another baby.

Make sure your partner never gets another dog.

nightswimmer · 30/05/2012 16:32

I don't see the helpfulness in endlessly chastising the op- the family made a mistake in getting the dog, they're not dog people, so the best thing being to re home it and not get another one, of any sort. All this giving out and and scolding is not going to change their overall attitude towards the dog, so even if they went through the motions the dog would pick up on the resentment and disinterest. Rehome, it's the only solution.

nightswimmer · 30/05/2012 16:33

Dogneedsahome, do you think you will try to rehome the dog?

boohoohoo · 30/05/2012 16:41

Jesus, wtf did you get a dog, and you cant blame it all on your DP, you are also responsible for this dogs welfare. Its not rocket science knowing what a dog needs before you got him, walking him is fundamental really isnt it Confused

If I was your neighbour, I would be reporting you for neglect.

Hopefully someone on here will be able to point you in the right direction to get this dog re-homed so it can have some sort of life.

Original poster
Dogneedsahome · 30/05/2012 16:44

maddie trust me I already know how much of a knob he's been, I can shout an argue and he'll do it that day, then it's another argument the next day to keep him carrying on doing it. He starts Monday, so may have to get a dog walker in the mean time until baby is here. But after it'll just be something I wouldn't be able to afford. And I know DP won't pay it,

OP posts:
Scuttlebutter · 30/05/2012 16:49

OP, have you contacted any of the charities/rescues that I mentioned yesterday? The sooner you start this process the sooner this can all be resolved. The current situation isn't good for anyone and will be even worse once the baby arrives.

midori1999 · 30/05/2012 16:53

What on earth do you mean 'DP won't pay it'? You're a couple having a baby together and you get no say in this?

He sounds like a right arsehole catch...

maddiemostmerry · 30/05/2012 17:01

Dogs, would your partner really not pay? Don't you get any say? That is really terrible and not a good role model for the kids.

Try all the local rescues and get the dog somewhere better.

Technoviking · 30/05/2012 17:16

I'm guessing your "D"P does sod all with y our children too?

Does he work now, or is he sitting about doing nothing?

You're happy to get rid of a dog but not your dp, too? why? what does he bring to the relationship, aside from an unwanted pet?

Mama1980 · 30/05/2012 17:48

What do you mean he won't pay? He has to pay! There is no choice here for any decent human being. And don't you have a say? If so pay if u have no say something is very wrong.

MuddyDogs · 30/05/2012 18:26

There are so many things wrong here, I can't even begin. I don't think there's any way you're going to find a home for this dog, so I'd mentally get your head around the idea that you're going to have to take care of it yourself as your DP is obviously a totally unreliable knob-head (is that too harsh?). YOU allowed a pet to be brought into your household, YOU are just as responsible for your new family member as he is .... Lots of women have managed to walk their dogs with babies and toddlers in tow, or with limited mobility. If you can walk to the park pushing a toddler, you can walk a dog with a halti. I broke my pelvis running a couple of years ago and still managed to get the dog out for a walk everyday when DH was away or working late and couldn't help me, I hobbled but I did it. It doesn't matter that you're not a dog person; it's just the RIGHT THING TO DO. The problems you've mentioned, fleas, pulling on the leash, poop in the yard are very easy to fix so there should really be no need to rehome this dog. You've made your bed and now you must lie in it.

outmonday · 30/05/2012 18:59

Staffies might be lovely dogs in ideal homes but most of them are bought by irresponsible people then neglected. They can never be trusted with other dogs and dogs' homes are full of them.
An unwanted staffy is not precious, have him PTS and solve the problem.

higgle · 30/05/2012 19:38

Outmonday - those are dreadful things to say. We have a rescue Staffie he is a lovely dog despite the fact he has come from a really dreadful background and was nearly PTS twice. We are responsible people ( Care Manager + Civil Engineer) and several other people we know have adopted staffies because they are a load more fun than a rescue greyhound ( puts tin hat on) and have lovely friendly temperaments. Some are not keen on other dogs, ours is OK unless the other dog is a lot bigger than him and bounces all over him. If my neglected, threadbare toothless old chap could find a home with us aged 9 then I'm sure there is hope for this one yet. I would consider this dog myself but unfortunately mine is on chemo for Leukemia at present and it wouldn't be fair on him when he needs so much attention.

OP - have you contacted any of the rescues yet - "Happy Staffies" seem to have rehomed quite a few recently and they might be able to help.

Marne · 30/05/2012 19:44

outmonday, you obviously know nothing about SBT's Angry, yes dog homes are full of them, thats because of useless owners and the bad press SBT's get, they are fab dogs, great with kids and most (like any other bread) are fine with other digs. No dog should be put to sleep unless it is dangerous or sick.

There are plenty of rehoming centers which can rehome him, the fact he used to children and pets should make him easy to home.

shockers · 30/05/2012 19:56

OP, whereabouts are you? (apologies if this has been asked earlier, I don't have time to read it all)

There's a very good rescue near to us that cherishes the multitude of Staffies that are brought in.

I go from time to time to walk them... they are lovely gentle dogs.

Scuttlebutter · 30/05/2012 20:20

OP is in Suffolk and was given a list of local rescues yesterday. I've asked today if she has started working through the list, but as yet no response. Sad

Ephiny · 30/05/2012 20:26

Staffs can be lovely dogs even despite less-than-ideal homes, they tend to naturally have a very nice temperament IME. They can be fine with other dogs, as long as they're socialised and not trained for fighting/aggression (same as for most breeds really).

Unfortunately though I think outmonday has a point, I do fear that the future is not looking good for this little dog, and realistically PTS is a common outcome for many nice healthy young Staffies who find themselves no longer wanted by their owners :(

It's worth trying though, there may be a home out there for him.