Really need to do something with the dog.

[Dogneedsahome]

I have a staffy, or rather it's my dp's and always has been. We have had the staff since he was 14wks. I'm not a dog person never have been and my DP knows this. When we got him we lived in a flat but had our own massive garden about 150m x 40m so really big for him and the kids (we have two, very young)

we talked it over at length for months before we got the pup as he had always wanted one. That it would be my dp's, he would walk it everyday despite our large garden, as we also lived close to a park. He would pick up all poo's & pay any vets bill etc. as I said I'm not keen on dogs as I didn't grow up with them and I just prefer cats (we have one cat also) I worked part time, my DP full time.

Fast forward 2 years, we have moved house (been here a year now) we have a significantly smaller garden we both gave up our jobs so we could live here. The distance to commute wouldn't be worth the money we'd earn to stay in our jobs. My DP has been looking for work constantly and have finally got one and starts soon.

Problem is:
he stopped walking the dog way back when we lived in our flat probably about 2months after we got him the novelty wore off. It wasn't so much a problem as we had a big garden then. He hasn't kept up with flea treatments. I am fed up of being bitten fortunately they only seem to bite me though. He hasn't trained the dog, it doesn't know sit, no, paw, or any of the obvious. I've tried walking the dog a few times when I've felt sorry for it, but as he not used to being walked he pulls and it's really hard for me. The dog has eaten so many of mine or the kids things which my DP has not replaced though he said he would, which is frustrating enough.

We argue constantly with him not walking the dog, not flea treating him after a lot of nagging he brought some cheap supermarket stuff but it didn't work. You can now just see them covered over him(he's white) and i feel sorry for the poor thing) I nag to take him to the vets but he won't. The dog doesn't leave our garden for weeks at a time unless it's to come inside at night as I don't want him in to infest our home. Again.
Him not picking up the dog poo's, as I said we now have a tiny garden and with two kids it's disgusting.
I'm pregnant and due in a couple months, so with 3 small kids soon and my DP starting work soon I'm not going to cope I'm angry with my DP and the situation it's got to.

He a lovely dog, soft and playful, just my DP is lazy and too tight to pay for him. I don't need to be flamed for this, I'm at the end of my teather already and have coped as best i could. and am just looking for advice as to where is the best place to rehome him. As its obvious he'd be better off elsewhere.

I've got two little children and a dog.

They are all my responsibility and I make it my priority to meet all of their needs.

I realise that the situation is of your DPs making but this dog is being neglected and you are aware of it and doing nothing to rectify it. You are complicit IMO.

I think your dp has no longer any say in the matter. He has proven (proved) himself to be incapable of looking after the poor dog.

You need to flea treat and worm the dog. And probably give it a good bath too (flea treat after the bath, not before)
Then show it some love and companionship.

Sadly most rescues are full to the brim so chances are he will be put to sleep.
And this is your dp's fault (and for a small amount also yours, you should not have let it get to this stage).
The dogs life will have been one of neglect, suffering and premature death by needle. Fab, well done your dp. What a great guy.

The dog's best chance is for you to find a no-kill rescue. But most of those are full to the brim and have waiting lists.
Sorry, did you say where you are? Someone may know of rescues in that area.

On a practical note, Effi pro is the cheaper version of frontline that my vet recommends btw.

That poor, poor dog. Is this a wind up OP? As I'm struggling to understand how you can be posting this and not realise it's a big issue.

"he would walk it everyday despite our large garden"

Anyone with that kind of mentality clearly has no idea what a dog needs. Of course you walk it despite a large garden. That goes without saying!

Grr, sorry I'm getting angry and taking it out on you, OP. But your DH is an arse.

Honestly, I'd rehome the dp then sort the dog out.

I agree Random. There is no way on this earth I could feel the same about my dp once I had witnessed him neglecting the dog. A dog is part of the family (or jolly well should be). A dog needs a family or a pack. That poor dog, being shut out in the garden on its own, he must have been so lonely and uncomfortable due to the fleas and bewildered and upset.

Come on op, please tell me you are not standing by a man like that? (in which case you are just as bad to be honest)

www.defra.gov.uk/publications/2011/03/26/code-of-practice-dogs-pb13333/
You should read this. Perhaps showing it to your 'D' P will move his arse a bit? :) (PA)

I know you don't want or need flaming so I hope this doesn't come across as harsh but why are you having more children with this man? I hope he treats his children better than this dog. But I would worry that if he is so selfish, lazy and frankly cruel to one vulnerable animal in his care, how is he meeting his responsibilities to his children?

Either take care of this animal or have it killed - because that is what will happen when you give it up. There are very few happy endings for fully grown unwanted staffies. What you are allowing to happen is cruel and a horrible example to your children.

I now know why Val got banned. I am really struggeling not to say what I really feel.

OP, let us know where you are and we can google for a rescue place. Chances are not good but it is worth a try.

That poor dog. What an example to set you your dc

What an utter arse!! You know the best thing you could do would be to put the poor little bugger to sleep!! How on earth can you be responsible enough to rehome him?? When you wont even buy some fucking flee treatment? Your parter and you are a joke! Moaning about the flee bites youve got FFS!! Just think how the dog feels? I bet the poor fucker is burnt to a crisp to after all this hot weather

Whenusee- I know how that can sound but what I meant was when we were discussing it pre-dog I would have thought missing like one day a month of it not being walked it wouldn't have been a big deal because of the garden. That's all, sorry if that sounds wrong.

From the beginning I had no interest in dogs. I just don't. I'm not a dog person I didn't grow up with them, don't have them in my family, but my DP's family do so i thought he'd look after it. I had no doubt in my mind at the time that he wouldn't.

I've shown my DP these msg's and he got an appointment for vets tomorrow. So hopefully will be fully dosed on what flea stuff he needs. We did try a petsathome prisciption stuff a few months ago but that didn't completely shift them. It's all well saying get rid of DP, but it's not about that, I wouldn't keep the dog anyway.

I just want him sorted and in a home that'll look after him, I know even when he is treated it'll just eventually go back to being the same. It's a cycle of me arguing that it's not being looked after, 2 days of it being walked and poos picked up, then back to square one. Will put a sign up in petsathome tomorrow, is preloved any good?

Behindlock- in Suffolk

No!! Pre loved and other such sites are full of wankers looking for bate dogs for there fighting dogs to rip to shreads!!

Just tell people where you are so that someone who knows what theyre doing can advice on a suitable rescue.

I'm in suffolk

You need to phone round all of your local rescues, find out if they are no kill rescues if not, go further afield.

As PP have said with your dog (and it is as much your dog) being a Staffy it will be difficult to find it a new home. Rescues are full of them because of people like you and your 'd'p.

I personally think you are as responsible for this dog as your dp.

there is not being a dog person, and there is standing by and allowing an animal to be neglected on your watch, in your home. I am getting more and more angry reading your posts.

I fear this will end with the poor dog being put down. Stories like this make me furious. How much effort is really required?. I know you're angry because your partner said he would do it all but in the meantime how can you sit by and watch this animal living such a miserable life? Agree with all previous posters. De-flea & worm him and hopefully you will find someone willing to take on this poor animal. He deserves better.

"I just want him sorted and in a home that'll look after him" there is no such place for an adult untrained staffy. if you dont believe us google a few rescues there are too many staffies been bred for idiots like your dp (and yourself) to neglect then pass on.

Bullies in need or Happy Staffie Rescue might be able to help you

Work/ not wanting a dog/ children are excuses and not reasons for neglecting a dog, and whilst I appreciate you are trying to sort DP out, by using the neglect of a dog as the bargaining chip, you are also responsible for this poor animal's mistreatment.

However for the sake of the animal, contact : www.staffordwelfare.com/ who should be able to help. You had time to post on Mumsnet, so you have time to find the right solutions for YOUR dog. By the way, it took me about 20 seconds to find them on google, so you can not have been trying terribly hard. They are however a wonderful bunch of people, and they will do their absolute best on behalf of your dog.

Fleas - for staffies, try Advocate - it treats fleas, mange and also acts as a wormer. It suits Staffies really well. IF you really do put your children first, then this is essential since an unwormed dog poo can cause all sorts of medical problems with children. For the same reason, pick up the poo in the garden - even if you don't care about the dog, you should do it for your children.

Walking - contact a dog walker and bill your dp if he can't be bothered doing it himself.

To quote your Opening Post

"Fast forward 2 years, we have moved house (been here a year now) we have a significantly smaller garden we both gave up our jobs so we could live here. The distance to commute wouldn't be worth the money we'd earn to stay in our jobs."

In a period of recession and job cuts across the nation you gave up your jobs just to move to a different location ?

If I have understood this correctly, and coupled with the decision to get a dog in the first place, followed by the decision to have another child when neither of you were earning then....... well, words fail me.

Are you for real or is this a wind-up ?

If not, please rehome the dog as soon as possible with someone who is capable of rational thought and decision making.

Pretty sure this will get deleted but it sure needed saying out loud ! I usually refrain from posting such thoughts as to people's dilemmas of their own making as it is not generally helpful after the event but I'm hoping a reality check will benefit the pets/potential future pets in your lives if nothing else.

what grrr said...

Wish you lived nearer me and i would take him.

The fleas are probably coming from the cat (my staff never had fleas until we introduced the cat into the house) so you need to make sure you treat the cat too.

'Staffie rescue' are great (you can find them on fb).

My dh is not a dog person but he does try to help me train the dog (has never walked her though and i'm the one who treats the fleas and feeds her etc..), she is a part of our family though and she gets treated as well as the kids do.

I also think the 'chewing things up' and being hard to train is due to not being walked, if i miss a day of walking my staff she is hyper and naughty. They don't need huge walks, just a 10-15 minute walk each day is often enough (as long as they have a garden to play in). My Staff is quite lazy and will happily sleep most of the day but she does love a walk each day.