Really need to do something with the dog.

[Dogneedsahome]

I have a staffy, or rather it's my dp's and always has been. We have had the staff since he was 14wks. I'm not a dog person never have been and my DP knows this. When we got him we lived in a flat but had our own massive garden about 150m x 40m so really big for him and the kids (we have two, very young)

we talked it over at length for months before we got the pup as he had always wanted one. That it would be my dp's, he would walk it everyday despite our large garden, as we also lived close to a park. He would pick up all poo's & pay any vets bill etc. as I said I'm not keen on dogs as I didn't grow up with them and I just prefer cats (we have one cat also) I worked part time, my DP full time.

Fast forward 2 years, we have moved house (been here a year now) we have a significantly smaller garden we both gave up our jobs so we could live here. The distance to commute wouldn't be worth the money we'd earn to stay in our jobs. My DP has been looking for work constantly and have finally got one and starts soon.

Problem is:
he stopped walking the dog way back when we lived in our flat probably about 2months after we got him the novelty wore off. It wasn't so much a problem as we had a big garden then. He hasn't kept up with flea treatments. I am fed up of being bitten fortunately they only seem to bite me though. He hasn't trained the dog, it doesn't know sit, no, paw, or any of the obvious. I've tried walking the dog a few times when I've felt sorry for it, but as he not used to being walked he pulls and it's really hard for me. The dog has eaten so many of mine or the kids things which my DP has not replaced though he said he would, which is frustrating enough.

We argue constantly with him not walking the dog, not flea treating him after a lot of nagging he brought some cheap supermarket stuff but it didn't work. You can now just see them covered over him(he's white) and i feel sorry for the poor thing) I nag to take him to the vets but he won't. The dog doesn't leave our garden for weeks at a time unless it's to come inside at night as I don't want him in to infest our home. Again.
Him not picking up the dog poo's, as I said we now have a tiny garden and with two kids it's disgusting.
I'm pregnant and due in a couple months, so with 3 small kids soon and my DP starting work soon I'm not going to cope I'm angry with my DP and the situation it's got to.

He a lovely dog, soft and playful, just my DP is lazy and too tight to pay for him. I don't need to be flamed for this, I'm at the end of my teather already and have coped as best i could. and am just looking for advice as to where is the best place to rehome him. As its obvious he'd be better off elsewhere.

Some dog charities that operate in your area of the country.

Norfolk and Suffolk Animal Trust here

Suffolk Animal Rescue here

SOS Dog Rescue here

Blue Cross may be in your area here

I found these quickly and easily on Google - please give them a call about urgently rehoming this poor dog.

Other people have already expressed their views on your DP. Mine are similar. You might want to consider that cruelty and neglect of animals is a strong indicator of cruelty and neglect to children.

You've also said that your children are your priority. If this is true, please consider the example you are BOTH setting to these children. In particular, your DP is modelling that it is OK to lie, OK to break promises, OK to be cruel, OK to be lazy and OK to lose interest in a living breathing creature that he has responsibility for. By failing to pick up poo, worm or treat fleas, he is also showing that he has no interest in your children's health.

You have modelled that it is OK to be lied to, to be disrespected, and that it is OK to be cruel, as you will stand by and do nothing. I cannot understand why you would want to have more children with a man that treats you with such disrespect, and shows such cruelty to a creature in his care.

If an animal welfare prosecution was made, you would be equally liable to be charged. Saying you did not want the dog is not an excuse.

This thread is really upsetting. We have just adopted a 2yr old terrier from a rescue centre FULL of staffies. She had numerous odd habits and wasn't house trained, we thought. Just like a new partner, an older pet comes with baggage. Two months later, lots of walks and time, consistent instructions and she is a fully integrated member of the family. You and DP bought the dog for the familial home, but you don't treat the dog as part of the family. Excuse, excuse, excuse. The fleas can be treated cheaply and quickly. The dog wouldn't poo in the garden if you took him out (are your entire family indoors all day every day?). The dog can be trained by joining classes , or if you're too skint/busy/pregnant by reading training tips online. It will behave better with regular contact, not shutting outside. Question: what kind of role model are you to your children? Rather than post in forums and argue with your DP you could have had this sorted by now. What a complete waste of time, or if you don't sort it this will also be a waste of your dogs life.
As they nearly say, "A dog is for life, not just until you get bored of it"

You and your dh have both been unemployed for the last YEAR and NOBODY has walked the dog in that time.

That is despicable! What the hell have you both been doing all day????

This dog would be better put to sleep than living a life of neglect. It's impossible to rehome staffies. He is not loved, gives you no pleasure and has no quality of life. Take him to the vet, a humane end is much better than a miserable existence.

No! Not pts . He sounds like he could be a beautiful pet if only someone would give him some time.......

And i'm sure someone would give him the time, someone who knows the bread and has time to train him.

Do not get him PTS. Someone will help.

Only rehome him through a reputable resue.

My DP isn't particularly 'doggy', tbh, but he likes our dog, will walk him etc. However- he would never ever stand by and see an animal neglected like this. I struggle to see your side, honestly I do. It wouldn't be an argument from me- I'd be bloody well telling him he needed to do something!

We have a small garden and I have 4 DC, 3 who are under 6. You just get on with it!

Horrid thread. Poor dog.

I'm afraid that although you have said you don't need flaming for this, I'm afraid I think you do.

Your family dog is being neglected in every possible way.

No health care, no training, no affection and living in squalor and BOTH of you, as ADULTS, are responsible for it. Bleating that you are not a dog person is just not good enough and pretty irrelevant.

And add to that neither of you are working and STILL neither of you can manage to meet even the most basic needs of this dog and I am disgusted.

I can not imagine the conditions your family dog lives in. Surrounded by shit, riddled with fleas and itching more than I can imagine and nothing at all to look forward to.

Poor, poor dog.

Shame on you.

I wish I hadn't read this. You don't have to be a dog person to show some basic compassion for a fellow living creature and do the bare minimum to ensure its needs are met :(.

Tell your DP that dog poo can make children blind.

I am so agreeing with Daisy

"I'm not a dog person" does not free you from being responsible for a dog that is in your care.

I think it is disgusting that you are allowing a defenseless animal to be neglected like this.

Do you know that you could be causing flee anemia to your dog not to mention all the rest. Poor poor dog.

You don't deserve to keep any animal.

Call your local staffie rescue or any none kill rescue.

Any place would be better for your dog than being in your so called care.

The cat has a flea collar and is treated with the cheap stuff which works for it,
grrr we lived in a completely rough area to put it nicely, we had junkies setting fire to their flats, they were trying to get into my flat during the night, neighbors ongoing parties, and loads more. The type of work I did you can find the jobs anywhere, and I did within a month of moving here. plus i had a seasonal job. My DP left his temporary ongoing job, so it wasn't like that was permanent, As he was self employed but work wasn't coming in, so he was working for a friend. so when we were given an offer to move, we did. There was nothing keeping us to stay before the move.

We were both working when we got the dog, and I was working when I got pregnant. Also my DP did find some work with his original self employed work since moving here although admittedly this hasn't been consistent. But still although not ideal I don't regret getting pregnant.
Sorry if I didn't put all this in first but it didn't seem relevant tbh, and my post was long enough. I now seem to be having to justify my life to you, when I don't. I'm asking for advice on the best place to rehome our dog, not on why I moved house.

Right, first of all, PLEASE do not rehome this dog yourself, except through a reputable, no kill rescue. This may mean a long wait whilst you keep the dog with you. If you do not rehome the dog this way (ad is Pets At Home, Freeads, Gumtree, take the dog to the pound, any other rescue etc) the chances are it will end up as bait to train fighting dogs or be put to sleep. There simply aren't any homes, let alone good ones for all the dogs that need them.

In the short term then the dog absolutely needs to be wormed and de flea'd for it's own welfare and the welfare of your DC. You will also need to treat carpets, soft furnishings etc. Talk to the vet about this.

Obviously longer term someone needs to train and walk the dog. A halti may be a temporary solution to help walk him, but obviosuly even a well trained dog that gets walked once in a blue moon is going to forget it's manners when it gets out the door! If no one walks him, doing some training or throwing a ball in the garden is better than nothing, though in no way ideal.

I have to say, there really is no excuse for this situation, you can hardly say you don't have enough time and personally I would be devastated if my DC thought this was an acceptable way to treat an animal. My father had a number of dogs when I was growing up. I never thought anything of it, but now, as an adult looking back on it, I am disgusted by how our dogs were treated. They never had lfeas, but they weren't properly house trained, never walked, frequent rehomings etc. I am not in contact with my Father, nor would I want to be, his treatment of dogs sums him up IMO and my Stepmother for allowing/joining in with it.

God your dp sounds like an utter waste of life. How desperately sad for that poor dog. Your dp nees re-homing. I'd lose any respect I had for anyone who treated animals this way. What a shit. I can't understand why someone with fuck all to do all day can't get off his pathetic arse and take his bloody dog for a walk. Wtf?????

Pathetic. Just pathetic. Have to go away from this thread as I may burst.

This thread makes me think of those desperately sad news articles where one parent neglects and abuses a child while the other parent does nothing to protect that child.

How can you stand by and just observe this negligent treatment of a defenceless animal?

Pick up the shit covering the garden, treat the poor dog for fleas and worms and just hope that the RSPCA don't get called because the next people you will receive a visit from will be social services once the RSPCA have contacted them.

Oh blimey this is so sad... I'm not going to join in having a go at you. It's already all been said.
Last Chance Animal Rescue in Kent do runs to pounds around the UK, they have a waiting list, might be worth calling them for advice. The other one, run as a Facebook page is Dogs on Death Row. Loads of Staffies in both!
I'll repeat what has been said before: rehome ONLY through a rescue centre... Do NOT place any ads - very likely he will be torn to shreds.
And look after yourself and your kids too. Best of luck.

That poor dog.

You should BOTH be ashamed of yorselves. No excuses. Animal cruelty is animal cruelty.

Look, at least Dogneedsahome is on mumsnet trying to do something about it , there are plenty of dogs/people in similar situations where nothing is done at all, and the dogs live out their lives with no hope of change. So good for you, Dogneedsahome, for at least putting this out there. Do follow up the advice you've been given, take the next step that needs to be done so he can have a better life.

Sorry but I'm getting a lot of "living in squalor" actually it's not like that at all we have quite a nice garden for him and kids, he does pick up the poos I just have to nag a lot, when I said its disgusting I mean if there's one or two left there. Not that the garden is littered with the stuff. He's not put there and left to rot like an RSPCA advert, at all.

He has shelter out side, food put out twice a day, water, loads of toys, and does get played with everyday. DP just won't walk him or pay what it costs to permantly keep up with flea treatment, so I've had enough of it. Seems some of you jump to conclusions.

Thank you scuttle, I'll have a look at all of them.

"You can now just see them covered over him"

That is what you said about the fleas on your dog. Which neither you or your DP have treated the dog for.

No one is jumping to conclusions, the dog is being mistreated.

Nightswimmer - yes - at least she's on here and can read the advice offered.

Please read through the constructive advice and help the poor creature. I accept the fact that you don't want your dog... But you need to sort this situation out.