She seems to think I is unreasonable. She bites me. Her friend bites me too 
She smell sooo good right now. I is walking round attatched to her bum most of the time. It very difficult to do this when she keeps walking about. Have you ever tried walking on two legs? It not easy.
My person keeps shouting "Wrap it in, porno dog" I not know what this means but I know it not good coz she don't give me cheese for doing porno dogs.
I don't know why I hump her. Some bastard half inched my bollocks, so I can't actually do anything. I just need to hump. I has to hump the chair or the small people's stuffed animals when she go in her bed. I not allowed in her bed.
PS: If your person talks of neutering, RUN! I trusted my person. I go'd to the nueter man and I woke up with no bollocks. They gonna 'spey' my housemate. I keep telling her no good will come it. She won't listen.
She not too bright my housemate. They let her run with no lead and she actually comes back 
. She could be freeee! Free as a bird to eat squirelly things and grass all day and all night. My person not let me eat the squirelly things