To give my elderly dog away

[Piggyleroux]

I am so distraught that I can't think clearly.

I have a 15 yo JRT bitch and a 23 mo ds. Here's the problem:

In the last three months, ds has taken a sudden interest in the dog i.e wanting to ride her, chasing her relentlessly wanting to cuddle her. She is elderly and snappy and I have had to resort to putting a babygate up in the kitchen and keeping her in there while ds is up and about. I have repeatedly told him, no, leave doggy alone, to no avail.

Walks are a major issue. It is a fight every morning to get ds to put a jumper on, let alone a coat, he won't sit in the buggy or get in the car without a massive fight and if I let him walk, he wants to hold the lead and we end up walking at a snails pace so the dog doesn't get any decent exercise.

She has started exhibiting behavioural issues, barking and scratching herself and seems really unhappy. I am so stressed with it all I cry every morning.

Dh works away during the week, so she does get a weekend walk with him but it's not enough. We can't afford a dog walker.

My inlaws called me last night (I've told them about the issues) and said that their good friends have just lost their westie and would love to take pippin on. They live in north Wales on a small holding so if she went I would never see her. i have met the couple, they are in their late sixties and are really lovely but that makes it no easier. I feel so shit about this, I can't bear to give her away but she has a such a shit existence here, no walks hardly, and being stu in a kitchen while ds is awake is really stressing her.

Advice? This is tearing me apart.

What do you do with your son when you need to be somewhere?

No one sounds happy with this situation, give yourself a break and rehome.
Don't feel guilty, it happens.
There are place that specialise in rehoming elderly dogs. The only thing you may need to do is give some. Only towards the costs of vet bills etc that your dog will need in the coming years.
Good luck

Just read the last bit of your post again, it sounds ideal!

Well he's going to have to put on a jumper and sit in the buggy sooner or later isn't he? To go to the shops/doctor/nursery/whatever.

So I'd be tempted to fight it out until he does and take her for a walk every morning. My dog is only 12 and doesn't need much more than that (arthritis) - surely that would help.

Keep her in the kitchen while he's playing and if he has tv time or is drawing at the table or whatever, let her out. Invest in many disgusting pigs ears and chews to keep her happy perhaps? Presumably he naps and/or goes to be around 7 - so she's out then too.

She's 15, he'll be at nursery soon enough or she may pass away (sorry, but you know). If it were me, I'd make it work for her last year or so if I possibly could.

Just my opinion though.

i think you need to be firmer with your son, tbh.

my 17 month old ds knows & understands "leave the dog alone", because i set the ground rules from day one.

God what a horrible position to be in Piggy.

Given her age and the signs she's stressed and unhappy I would re-home her. I would be completely heartbroken though. I'd only do it if I was sure she would be happy in her new home though, and it sounds like it will be a good home.

I feel for you, it's a horrid decision to have to make.

Erm, you're going to rehome your dog because your toddler is willful and doesn't like jumpers?

How about making the child go in the buggy?

I have a JRT and their life expectancy is around 15yrs.

Are you sure the couple can handle that, considering they've just lost their Westie?

Goes to BED I meant, clearly.

There are two issues here. One is the dog's welfare. If you genuinely believe that she would be happier with the friends then I don't see why anyone would give you a hard time except that people seem to love to about dogs. The other issue is your DS. He does need to be taught that when you want his coat on it goes on and when you want him to leave the dog alone he has to. This may be the hill you have to take for the sake of his future behaviour.

I was wondering that too Worra. They must be okay with that possibility though as they've offered to take her?

I agree with Sue, OP.
And I would be firmer with your ds too.

Hard choice. Does sound like it's the child that needs training more than the dog though! (I have a wilful toddler myself btw!).

Could you let her go for a holiday, see how things are? Work on getting your dc to do what you want, when you want without the stress of a dog possibly snapping at him.

You need to be firmer with your son, will he just continue getting his way from now on?

Having had 2 very different kids but used the same parenting with both, don't tell the OP how to parent and make her feel worse. How do we know how hard she has tried to get her toddler to go for walks and leave the dog alone?
My DS hated walks to his core, would not leave the dog alone. Dd loves dog walking and was always careful with our elderly dog.
Difference with us to the OP is that my DH worked from home and could walk the dog twice a day and our dog preferred being upstairs asleep and wouldn't try and join us in the room where DS was

I wonder if they've really thought about it threesteps

Also look at the cost of taking on a dog that age when poor health comes along.

Really not sure what I'd do.
On the one hand, yes, the toddler needs to understand that he must do what you say but that takes time. If the dog was a puppy, then it would be worth persevering but she's not - you could lose her by the time he 'gets it' and leaves her alone and what a miserable end to her life.
OTOH, at that age she may not take well to being rehomed.

So I can't say anything useful but what a horrid situation for you - much sympathy.

Totally agree you need to get a grip and try harder! to train your son, i honestly do not understand why you are letting an almost 2YO control you such a way, to re home a 15 year old dog would be bloody cruel in my opinion!

I think she'd take to re-homing better than staying where she was if her day-to-day life is miserable. I think you should make 100% sure though that the re-homers wouldn't get rid down the line. As Worra said, cost of vets bills etc. for an elderly dog ...

Horrible dilemma, OP, I really feel for you. I also agree with Sue. You need to be firmer with your son, coat on, in buggy and now it is the dog's time. When the dog has had a long enough walk you may get out for a run round. That's what I have had to do with my two year old - he wants to trail around holding the lead and it simply wasn't working. It took a few tantrums but he now gets in happily enough because it's not every single walk, just the ones which are "for the dog". I have had to be very firm about hitting the dog as well. He still does it sometimes but much, much less than he was before.

What about walking to the park so the toddler wants to go? Or getting him his own dog on a lead to pull/hold?

While this is a difficult situation, at least it sounds like there is a really good rehoming option if your DS remains intractable.

Sit him down with yourself and your DH and very seriously explain to him that if he won't treat the dog properly and do as you tell him, Pippin will have to go away because he's making her unhappy. Tell him she is an old lady dog and needs to be treated with respect. He's nearly 2 - he should be able to take it in.

Good luck, however it works out!