To give my elderly dog away

[Piggyleroux]

I am so distraught that I can't think clearly.

I have a 15 yo JRT bitch and a 23 mo ds. Here's the problem:

In the last three months, ds has taken a sudden interest in the dog i.e wanting to ride her, chasing her relentlessly wanting to cuddle her. She is elderly and snappy and I have had to resort to putting a babygate up in the kitchen and keeping her in there while ds is up and about. I have repeatedly told him, no, leave doggy alone, to no avail.

Walks are a major issue. It is a fight every morning to get ds to put a jumper on, let alone a coat, he won't sit in the buggy or get in the car without a massive fight and if I let him walk, he wants to hold the lead and we end up walking at a snails pace so the dog doesn't get any decent exercise.

She has started exhibiting behavioural issues, barking and scratching herself and seems really unhappy. I am so stressed with it all I cry every morning.

Dh works away during the week, so she does get a weekend walk with him but it's not enough. We can't afford a dog walker.

My inlaws called me last night (I've told them about the issues) and said that their good friends have just lost their westie and would love to take pippin on. They live in north Wales on a small holding so if she went I would never see her. i have met the couple, they are in their late sixties and are really lovely but that makes it no easier. I feel so shit about this, I can't bear to give her away but she has a such a shit existence here, no walks hardly, and being stu in a kitchen while ds is awake is really stressing her.

Advice? This is tearing me apart.

You need to sort out your childs behaviour, he seems to rule the roost

this ^^

your poor little dog you must be really upset , i think you are struggiling with your toddler at the moment and I think letting your dog go to the couple to retire is a lovely thing to do , Let the dog go it wouldnt be fair if he bit your toddler and have to be put down ,

Poor dog :(

I'm also in the 'you need to be much former with your child' camp. That's speaking as a mother of 4 who has lived with two elderly dogs. You can't let your ds decide about walking / going in the buggy or wearing or not wearing his jumper / coat. He is (nearly) 2 - you are the parent and you need to be in charge. Giving in to whatever he wants now is going to cause you all sorts of problems later.

Op I don't blame you, I rehomed our elderly staff ie bitch last year after she began to show signs of canine dementia, she was also incontinent due to spay and old age and I just couldn't calm her enough after we had been out of the house, even for an hour. She was completely distressed and it broke my heart. I am glad I did it, she is much better off and I have now got a premature baby and there is no way id have been able to care for her as well on top of that.

I think that it would be a real shame to rehome a dog of that age. And in reality, if you've had this dog her whole life and love her, I think you would feel very guilty about it if you did. So maybe try and think of another solution. Keep the dog away from your DS, take her out for a quick walk around the block when you can fit it in, and know that she doesn't have long left and doesn't really want much. But I feel for you, because I remember the stress of having toddlers and feeling on your knees with it all.

I agree with being firmer with your toddler , he cant rule youforever

Wretched, sorry to hear what you went through, but I'm so glad you understand what the OP is going through
If we never rehomed dogs how would elderly people cope who want to have a dog but couldn't be sure they would out live their pet?
Granny in law had an elderly dog and when granny died her dog went to a wonderful small holding in North Wales near Conway and had a great 18 months there

My sympathies op, my daughter at that age was a nightmare, no matter what I did, or how firm I was. I posted here about her on a regular basis. I didn't have a dog then and knowing what I know now I do have a dog i'm sure I wouldn't have coped!

All I can say is that when dd turned three the difficult behaviour just stopped. Sort of. She still tantrums on occasion and she's stubborn, but she's manageable now. If you could ride it out for a while maybe it would be ok but I can understand your concerns, you probably don't want to risk it.

I know you say you can't afford a dog walker, but are there any teenagers you know that might be looking for ways to earn a little money? It might be worth asking around or putting an ad up in the local shop.

Not judging you at all, but I know i'd try to solve the problem rather than rehome.

Eaglewings that has to be the absolute worst reason for rehoming a dog I have ever heard.

To all those who are suggesting let the dog bite the child???? Shame on you. That would almost certainly make the dog unsuitable for future rehoming and be a death sentence. I had a staffie she was a diamond in the rough, a real lady and would never have bitten a child no matter how stressed, that I am certain of. I cried so many tears over leaving her behind, I couldn't speak for the rest of the day. I certainly didn't take my decision lightly, my kids still talk about her every day.

What about an ergo baby baby carrier-you could put DS in, in your back- they aren't that heavy once in a carrier and if you walk quite fast they enjoy it. My kids like going in it. Or one of those 3stage bikes where they start by sitting in it and you push them, much like a buggy- most toddlers love that as they think they are in a big boy bike. Jacket? Hmm apart from saying oh well no jacket then and putting it in your bag and then when he's cold, get it on then- not sure if he's old enough to comprehend that though? My 2 year old refuses to wear a hat though- they can be stubborn little buggers!!! Good luck

I think that the challenges you describe are inherent part of having a dog of any age plus a toddler. My children are a bit older now but I remember the struggle of getting them dressed to go out in bad weather to walk the dog but it HAS to be done. I really think that re-homing a dog of that age would not do well to be placed in a new situation. She's an old lady and wants her home comforts, even if she has to put up with a boisterous toddler. I also think that you'd feel guilty. Perhaps if it was a younger dog or one that was aggressive it would be an easier decision but I do think you need to be firmer with your son.

I sometimes used to bribe mine (children, not dogs) with a favourite snack or special toy when I needed to get them bundled up and into the buggy for a dog-walk. Is that something you could try? Or perhaps as other posters have suggested put up a flyer around the neighbourhood and see if anyone might be willing to walk her around the block a few times a day? I'm imagining she doesn't need to go out for very long at her age?

an inherent part...

We have a dog behaviour type person in at the moment, I was just trying to think of some of the things he's told us. Apart from the walks (huge issue with us too as the little bugger is so strong he can pull me over).

He has suggested wearing the dog out mentally as well as physically. Playing in the garden, hiding treats and letting him find them (in the house, like doggy hide and seek). Could you involve ds in some games with the dog maybe?

Just chucking my lot in....

I have a 2.5 DD. She's a terror. The most willfull, stroppy little madam ever. Hates the buggy, hates putting on her coat, jumps all over her big bros, is queen on the telly remote, chucks cereal all over when the mood takes her, the list goes on. She's a toddler, it's part and parcel. However, the one thing she does NOT DO, EVER, is bother either my dog, or her grandmas dogs of she's round there. You do need to be consistent with it, keep telling your DS no, it takes ages and is mind numbingly boring repeating yourself, BUT IT CAN BE DONE!!

Every morning after school run, DD is strapped into her buggy, car seat ect and we walk the dog. Every single day. She screams, she howls, she stands up in the buggy. If walking, she throws herself to the floor, into bushes, stamps her little feet, and is generally a shit bag. But we still go. It's so hard sometimes, I feel like crying myself! She'd much rather be playing with her babies on the sofa. However, I'm pretty sure she'd quite happily eat only Cheese sarnies and weetabix, never brush her hair and have a go with my lippie, too. Not an option, I'm the grown up, she lives in my house!

If she's good, we walk ome via the shop and a Peppa Pig mag/lolli is purchased.

My school of thought is, "she'll get used to it". Your DS will, too. eventually. In the mean time, Im waiting to be accosted by social services.

My Dad has an elderly JR (13) and I can't imagine how she'd cope shunted off to someone elses to live out her days.

It sounds so stressful for you, OP, good luck!

Just to echo what sue said above, at least three of the dogs on my daily walking round are taken out by retired ladies who love dogs but don't/can't have one of their own. Might it be worth asking neighbours or walkers if they or any friends might be able to give your dog a turn around the block? The local WI, maybe? I've often taken my neighbours' dogs for a walk if they've been in a bind.

Callisto?!! Why is rehoming the dog of some one who has died bad?
I'm saying that if we thought all rehoming is bad, then we should not take on a dog if we can't guarantee we will live 15 years, thus making the elderly unable to have a dog

OP, your dog is fifteen. That means in human equivalence she is probably in her nineties. Realistically, she is not going to be with you for very much longer. JRTs are tough, long lived little dogs but she is likely to have a year to eighteen months at max.

If this couple exist (and I must admit they do sound like the mythical "farm in the country") then what guarantees do you have? There is a very strong likelihood that your dog will not enjoy the best of health in her last few months. Very few dogs just die in their sleep. With older dogs, it is nearly always the case that their last few months are spent with illnesses of various sorts, often costly, necessitating frequent vet visits, special medications, careful attention to diet, etc. By rehoming in this way you have no guarantee at all that this couple are willing or even able to meet such vet costs, and could quite possibly just dump the dog or have it PTS if it becomes too much bother. For a dog who has been a faithful companion for fifteen years that doesn't seem to me to be fair dealing. Is it really what you want - that your dog could end up in a pound or abandoned? If she does end up in a pound, she will undoubtedly spend a week being traumatised and then she will face the needle. No pound will even bother to try to rehome her at that age.

Can I also say that dog walkers are not terribly expensive? IIRC, your DH is a doctor and you are a SW, so should be able to afford this? Round here, most dog walkers charge around £10 per session, or you could go with the option of asking a neighbouring teenager/student etc.

As others have said, your DS can learn to co-exist peacefully with your dog. It's really important also for his own safety that he learns that not all dogs can be poked, prodded and harassed. If he does this in the park or at the school gates when he is a bit older, he could end up being bitten very easily.

It's ok to put our elderly human relatives in a home...........

Inthepotty, is your dd my dd? I love the phrase "queen of the telly remote".

Op, good luck. I do agree that rehoming at this stage of her life would be miserable but I do sympathise on the stroppy toddler front. I often dread the school run but it is getting better.

Eaglewings - "If we never rehomed dogs how would elderly people cope who want to have a dog but couldn't be sure they would out live their pet?" sounds like you are making the case for rehoming elderly dogs when people can't be arsed with them any more. Glad if I got that wrong.

I'm not sure I agree that it is ok to put elderly rellies in care homes either, but the two are not really comparable anyway.

Put your son in his buggy, give him a lead fastened to the dog to hold, clip another lead on the dog for you to hold and off you go. I did this with mine and I dont think my son ever worked out it wasn't just him 'walking' the dog.

Nice one SP0104, I never thought of that, very cunning.

OP it sounds like keeping the two apart is too annoying for you and getting rid of your dog is the easier option.