our new dog seems sad

[higgle]

Does that sound a bit silly? We rehomed a 9 year old Staffie from rescue kennels about 6 weeks ago. He is lovely, kind, mild mannered dog who behaves very well indeed, all things considered.

He knows what living in a house is all about and seems to think he should be allowed on the sofa with us and to go into bedrooms and lie on the beds. We had to take the decision not to allow him on the furniture because he is moulting non stop ( white dog, so very noticable) and also claws as he turns round 3 times to settle. He is allowed on the tatty old sofa in our play room - opposite our living room - where he has the advantage of being able to see outside onto the street.

He tends to sit on this sofa rather than come into the sitting room ( where he has a dog bed) with us and generally looks rather miserable a lot of the time. Sometimes he seems pleased and wags his tail when we come in, sometimes he doesn't look very bothered.
The only health problem our vet has found is that his teeth are totally worn down to the gum, and he has to have them all out once he has settled in with us. I am just a bit concerned that although he is very friendly in some ways - likes to sit on your feet, sometimes climbs up and sits on my knee - a lot of the time he sits on his sofa and doesn't get up to greet DH or DS2 and he seems generally to be a bit sad and tired.

He likes a good walk in the afternoon and gets very enthusiastic about this, but doesn't like going out for his early morning walk at 6am - until it is underway when he is quite happy.

We took him to the local farmers market one Saturday and he behaved really well, sat nicely outside cafe, didn't bother other dogs or embarass me by having a poo

I'm just wondering if, despite having had a pretty poor home in the past, his old owners might have been a lot more fun for him - I imagine him going out in a van with someone, and seing lots of people for example.

Is he sad? just a bit old and tired? still settling in? or worst case scenario in pain from his teeth or something else the vet hasn't spotted?

I suspect this sounds a bit paranoid but I have really fallen in love with this dear dog and want to be sure he is happy.

I'd say it's probably still really early days. The teeth may be a factor but more likely he's still a bit confused and disorientated; I doubt he's pining for any van-riding social whirl :)

Well done for taking on a rescue x

Thank you, CK, we wonder so much about his old life and I'm just hoping he isn't pining for something more exciting than he gets with us. The reality is that he was a stray that ended up on death row in Swansea before being rescued, and then very sadly having a new home that didn't work out because the other resident dog hated him. If he is hankering after a life of bed sharing and eating Pizza interspaced with trips to the pub I'm afraid it isn't going to happen with us!

That is a really touching op. It's great for your lovely dog that he has such a caring new home.

One thing I want to mention about the 'seeming sad' is that our terrier (a PRT) didn't really come out of his shell until a few months after we got him. He was only four months when he came to us, but it seemed like it took him a while to build up to his full confidence. I didn't realise how subdued he had been until he became more lively. It was like he put his puppyhood off and became an old man for a while.

Also, he is still quite a self-sufficient dog: he genuinely likes to have a bit of social 'downtime' when he is alone in his own space.

I don't know what more you can do beyond what you are doing. I don't think you should reverse your decision not to allow him on most furniture: moulting is a nuisance and I'm sure he can adjust to accept comfy dog baskets etc.

I'd be tempted to allow him to be alone as much as he wants and make social time v friendly but also quite low-key, taking the lead from him a little bit about what sort of contact he wants.

Absolutely agree with Eleison's last paragraph.

It sounds like a number of things. Firstly, it's quite possible those teeth are giving him pain - unless your vet has advised against it for medical reasons you've not mentioned I'd be getting those sorted out sooner rather than later.

We see a lot of greyhounds who come off the track and they often have awful teeth - if they are up to a GA this is one of the first things to be fixed - being in pain is utterly miserable for them and the bacterial issues from teeth problems can also impact on other organs. When they have teeth done they often seem to have a new lease of life - can make a remarkable difference.

Secondly, rescue dogs often take a while to settle in and come out of their shell. I'd expect any rescue dog to gradually "unfold" over a period of about a year. Again, we see this a lot with greyhounds. They start out being quite quiet and withdrawn and eighteen months later they are love sponges who are upside down on the sofa or being my sous-chef in the kitchen. One of ours spent most of the weekend supervising/assisting DH in the garden (actually, mostly getting in the way, but they were both happy). Would have been unthinkable when they first arrived.

We actually took one of ours plus middle nephew to a fun dog show two weekends ago at a local church hall. I don't know who was more pleased when nephew got a rosette, him or me. I was so proud of them both I got a bit teary. This was a dog who just over a year ago was given up to the charity as being anti-social, with multiple behaviour problems.

Dogs do vary in how social they are - and how much entertainment/stimulation they need/like. What might be suitable for a collie or a JRT would turn our greyhounds into nervous wrecks.

The final bit of the jigsaw might be that he misses canine company. Have you made any doggy friends on your walks or at obedience classes? If you don't do obedience classes they are worth doing as they will help strengthen the bond between you amazingly.

It sounds as though he has landed on his feet though - congratulations to you both.

It took nearly a year for one of our rescue dogs to feel truly settled with us. She came from a very abusive background and was very wary of us for a long time. She has been with us now 3 years and is a totally different dog, loves attention, pleased to see us and wanting to be part of the family, not watching from the sidelines.
It helped her that we already have another confident dog and she learned to trust us through watching us interact with her.
Its great that you have taken on a rescue dog, just give him time to settle and you will be rewarded by a fabulous, loving dog.

What a lucky dog to have found you op. I agree with others, it took Devil Dog a good few months to reveal his, erm, true pain in the arse self.

If you want him to come in the room more often you could start hiding treats etc in his bed to make it more appealing to him. Or maybe get a throw for the sofa so he can sit up and cuddle you [big softy]

Chances are he will come out of his shell when he is good and ready.

I wonder also if he is a bit stiff in the mornings, since he is initially reluctant about his morning walk? A bit of arthritis perhaps?

He sounds such a lovely dog. All the staffies I've met have been lovely. I am sure it will work out fine. He is a very lucky dog.

our rescue dog (x breed terrier) took about 6 months to really become 'part of the family' when we got her (she was a year old)

perhaps your dog has just become used to not getting much attention and it will take a while for him to adjust to his new, loving home?

agree re: getting the teeth sorted asap, just in case they are painful or start causing problems

I echo what everybody else has said about it taking a while for a dog to settle in. Our rescue dog didn't play with toys for the first six months we had him. Once he started, he ripped all his toys to shreds but that's another story!

By all means check out the things other posters have advised. But don't feel down or think you're not giving the dog enough. He's so lucky to have owners who care so much.

You could try a DAP collar. It has a pheremone in it,or simulates it can't remember which, but it helps to calm a stressed or anxious dog.
Our dog came with one on to help her settle in.

Our dog took a couple of weeks to settle in and stop being wary of us - and he'd come from his breeder at 10 months, (absolutely no abuse, they were sorry they couldn't keep him). He was just disorientated and maybe a bit worried whether he might be 'moved on' again.

Just keep on loving this 'dear dog', Higgle. He may indeed be a bit sad at the moment, it must be strange for him - new routine, new people. I'm sure that with someone so caring as to start this thread he will become a contented dog.

We were looking at photos of our rescue dog (we've had him 2 years) taken in the first few weeks he lived with us.
He looks unhappy and tense - his eyes look really sad.

It took him ages to relax and settle in - he still won't play with toys but he is a really happy settled little fellow.

He might just have been tired from a long walk on Friday over the weekend, he was far perkier last night. When I got back from the gym he jumped up and gave me a lick and we lured him into the sitting room with a couple of treats and he settled on his bed nicely - think he will get there eventually! I am very interested in his previous life, he is very interested in cars - tried to climb in one the other day - and on walks he notices if garden gates are open and tried to walk up the path of houses where they are - he obviously led a sociable life of some kind, perhaps he belonged to a drug dealer! Thank you for all the suggestions, we will be taking him to the vet's next week for his dental work, just hope he understands it is for his benefit.

My rescue staffie is the same about cars. Loves going in cars, buses, trains. Any car that pulls up, she tries to get in

I sat and cried about a week after getting our rescue dog that he wasn't happy and he didn't like me!

It's taken him a couple of months to find his paws (and become a bin-raiding, sofa-hogging loveable little ratbag) but you can just see the sparkle back in his eyes now and he's fantastic in a furry wrapping. I just can't understand how anyone would have dumped him - he's had training so he was obviously someone's loved pet once - the only thing I can think of is that someone lost their job with the recession or something.

I think I should add 'stories of unhappy dogs being loved back to happiness' to that 'things that make you cry thread - damp eyed anyway!

It definitely takes them a while to settle in after rehoming. We thought our dog must be tired or ill as when we let him off-lead in the park he'd just sit down and look up at us with those big sad eyes, wouldn't chase a ball or run around or play or anything. He just didn't want to turn his back or take his eye off us in case he got 'lost' again, I think. He's such an affectionate, loving boy, seeing how he's bonded with us I can imagine how distressed he must have been at losing his original family :(.

He's fine now, bounding around happily in the park or woods, and it was lovely to see him slowly gain confidence and trust, and be able to relax and just get on with being a dog. But it did take several months.

Crikey - I was bloody delighted when my springer stopped bothering me all day and took to lying under the chair asleep until time for the next outing.

What a lucky, lucky dog he is to have found you. Good luck with his tooth operation.

orridge!!! I did wonder when you would post something about him

He is SO beautiful, I really do think the best thing is for you to give him to me

I got my 9 year old Staff last September and it has taken her until now to really find her feet... and in many ways she is still finding them and tries a new thing on me every week. She did seem utterly miserable some days. When I first got her, she walked off lead at heel, so close I used to sometimes catch her with the back of my heel as I walked. I'm lucky to see the little blighter now - I can usually just see all the undergrowth rustling alongside me.

Oh go on.... get a cover for your settee. There's nothing they love better than a snuggle

• Porridge

Well, not so much "beautiful" as full of character - warts and all is quite literal with him! As I say he is much more friendly today so I think too much training with DH for his coast to coast walk might have taken its toll.

Lol!! They seem to have a tendency to get a bit warty as they get older. If he gets the dangly ones, the vet will tie a bit of cotton around them if you ask.

My old boy used to walk for miles upon miles, but he had done so all of his life so was used to it. I can't see old lady staff getting such silly distances - from what we can ascertain our best guess is that she spent most of her previous life asleep with an old man

higgle he sounds wonderful. I can only echo what's already been said - just give it time.

Our rescue greyhound is only just starting to come out of his shell and we've had him 4 months. It took us a month to get a shy little wag of his tail, and another month before he came to the door to greet us as we came in. It was another month before we really saw any signs of him being playful. I think his racing past meant he had never experienced the puppy stage, and toys and affection were a bit confusing! In truth he's changed so much in the last few months (all for good), but I think it will be months yet before he really settles. He's an older dog too and I do think that is relevant.

When we first got him there were some definite signs of stress - he used to sneak into the kitchen at night to eat and drink as though he wasn't really sure if he was allowed there. I think it's good that you've set boundaries, your dog just needs a little more time to adjust.

Aw higgle - he sounds lovely and I bet he really is very happy too.

I volunteer at my local rescue centre as a dog walker and I also have my own rescue dog whom I got from the same place just under 2 years ago. Apparently a lot of dogs go "into themselves" in kennels as a self protection mechanism and it takes a while for this to disappear. Our dog when we first got him was a catankerous, grumbly, moany suspicious bugger which surprised me as he was really waggy tailed in the rescue centre. For the first few months at least he used to slope around the house looking reproachfully at us, would never sleep without one eye open watching us, rarely showed affection and was ball obsessed. It took ages to build his trust but now he adores us and we adore him. He LOVES a cuddle and if we won't cuddle him he makes us by forcing himself on us. He has such a gorgeous personality and really is our sons best friend. He goes to bed with our DS and waits until he is asleep before coming back down. He is such a different dog but it really was worth the wait and your lovely staffy will be too. Staffies often worship their owners and you may soon be posting saying he won't leave you alone . Good luck - it will all be fine in the end