The happy Place Café is still open - 2024

[sashh]

Morning.

I'm just starting this before the last one fills up.

Morning.

Well it is busy. @lovinglaughingliving tell us your worries while I make the coffee.

I'm on the mend but I have a need for honey so honey on yoghurt, on apples and in the tea.

Florence is making honey cakes and fernando is serving mead cocktails.

I'm here too @lovinglaughingliving

Maybe post for help and have it deleted later?

Daisy has disgraced herself and had to be bathed....

Thank you for the tea.
Can I have some yoghurt too please.

@lovinglaughingliving
Harsh bit first. No - you are NOT broken by this. This terrible thing happened to you, was done to you - you are a victim and had no control over it.

You have control now - you choose how it impacts you now, you choose what happens in your life now. You choose how it defines you and how long you let it live in your life. You choose not to let it break you.

You are not broken, you are a survivor.

I forgot to say, I didn't do it. I would never ever EVER harm anyone.We do not hasten and we do not delay, we treat symptoms as they arise, the end. I am kind, generous, sometimes funny(!) and I would have said before this a good palliative care nurse. Now, I'm not so sure. I just feel so... unsettled. I'm really don't want to leave, but I have no choice. How can I stay and work for an organisation like that?!! What if it happens again? I won't survive it, I don't think.

Firstly you need to decide
Stay or go

Then accept neither is a perfect option - and the drawbacks to each are not your fault, but they're a fact and it's easier to just accept them as such

Then decide what if anything, to do about each

(If you go, you can return to palliative care down the line)
Eg
Take action against your accuser? Possibly won't win but you can make a complaint anyway

You don't need to state your innocence 🙂
And at this point, it doesn't matter in terms of advice
Stop disaster managing into the future, telling yourself you're broken, you wouldn't survive it etc. stop telling yourself stuff like that

So far you're 100% successful at surviving disaster

Its so hard 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
My heart says stay but my head says it's time to go.
I adore my job, the actually job, sitting on the floor with the patients, chatting to them, enabling them to do whatever they want to do , laughing, cuddling relatives when they need it and just my job. I love my job. I love the hospice environment, I love having time, which I know I won't get in the acute setting.
But... but... I don't trust the people I work with any more. And how can I do my job which is such a great privilege and a joy whilst all the while looking over my shoulder?
With an organisation that hasn't looked after me at all? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Follow your head I think

You need time to heal and recover your strength, a new place will give you that space. Time to regain perspective and context. A stopgap.

Yep, I think you're right.
I'm terrified of the negotiation process with regards to my notice and relocation package repayment.
I guess I'll just say how I feel and see what they say, haven't got anything to loose have I!

Are you out side the UK @lovinglaughingliving ?

Surely they have a duty of care to you?

There must be some form of disability discrimination legislation too.

So sorry this is happening, I know people can make a workplace hell.

As a nurse you probably put other people first, but this time you need to look after you.

Erm, yes and no. Outside the UK but the King is our King but they have thier own laws and stuff! The milk here is good too! 😁
They essentially don't care about me, they pretend to, but they only care about themselves.

Ask for what you want and see if they'll meet it or negotiate you down

Pragmatically they probably want you to move on for your sake and others.

Don't say how you feel - this is a practical negotiation, they don't care how you feel. Make them want to make it worth your while to move on
Negotiate from a position of strength, not by appealing to them to feel sorry for you

Remember you were falsely accused. Made ill by the process
Moving you is damage limitation

What I want is to essentially be paid my notice and to not have to pay my relocation back (I think 4k!) but I don't think they will agree.
I also don't want to leave on bad terms, but I know I can't have it all.
I am a people pleaser, and really really really hate asking for stuff!

OK, I've got you.

As @Tilllly said, it was a false allegation and it made you ill.

You are in a position to take legal action and/or go to the press to warn other nurses not to make the move.

But you want to go to the other department, you are still in the same country and hospital so you should still get your relocation.

They probably want you to go quickly and cleanly. So it is in their interests to pay you off and probably to gag you.

Are you in a union?

The hospice is a charity here, separate from the hospital (which is states). It's me that owes the hospice, they paid for me to move over here to work for them.

@lovinglaughingliving sorry I'm not being much help, you have been put in an awkward position.

You are being lots of help, it's just nice to get it off my chest.
Sorry if I came across as blunt before 😖

@lovinglaughingliving not blunt at all.

Agreed

Not great , 10 hrs a week less than I need , it's advertised as full time but was only 30hrs pw .

@lovinglaughingliving , I didn't get yo read your post but from what I can gather it's sounds like you have / feel you have been betrayed and made by work and your colleagues.

I would say trust your instinct and get out when you can.
Take care of yourself, uou have been looking after other people for a long time. It's time to put you forward now.

Morning.

I hope things are improving for everyone even though the woods are dense.

I think we need a bit of a treat so Florence has been busy with making cakes and buns.

Black forest gateau, lemon drizzle cake, chocolate fairy cakes, victoria sponge and of course madeleines.

Fernando is making rum cocktails and I'll be making tea, coffee and hot chocolate.