This thread needs Lorne quotes.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Were you able to sleep, Lorne, or did you still hear that humming?
Lorne: Oh, I got some earplugs. Put 'em in and slept like a baby. Cried and wet the bed all night
Lorne: [singing to baby Connor in Brahms' Lullaby tune] Go to sleep, lullaby / You've been fed and you're sleepy / You'll be with Uncle Lorne / Who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet / And is certainly not thinking / Of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer...
after seeing Harmony throw a tantrum and storm out]
Spike: I must be in hell.
Lorne the Host: Ah, no. L.A. But a lot of people make that mistake
Lorne the Host: They need the hotspot because they're going to Pylea, my home dimension.
Agnes 'Aggie' Belfleur: And you're not going with them?
Lorne the Host: Aggie, I'd rather have a hydrochloric acid facial. I'd rather invite a hive of wasps to nest in my throat. I'd rather sit through a junior high school production of "Cats"! You see where I'm going with this?
Agnes 'Aggie' Belfleur: Not Pylea.
Lorne the Host: Exactamundo.
Landok: Your Mother's burden is terrible.
Lorne: Misses her little green boo, does she?
Landok: She rips your images into tiny pieces, feeds them to the swine, butchers the pigs and has their remains scattered for the dogs.
Lorne: Sounds like Ma
Host's Elder: Each morning, before I feed, I go out into the hills where the ground is thorny and parched, beat my breast and curse the loins that gave birth to such a cretinous boy-child!
Lorne: My mother!
Host's Elder: Your father was right. We ate the wrong son
Lorne the Host: I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say, if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then, at least, leather pants.