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Telly addicts

IF YOUR DH/DP WAS ARRESTED FOR DOWNLOADING PHOTOS WHAT WOULD YOU DO?..........BBC1....TONIGHT.....FIONA'S STORY....BBC1

194 replies

RTKangaMummy · 31/08/2008 18:49

TONIGHT

OP posts:
bentneckwine1 · 31/08/2008 22:45

Hi...I missed the start of this programme but have managed to find out that it is being repeated on Tuesday 2nd Sept at 2.05am.

Hope that helps those who wish they had seen it tonight.

bentneck

3andnomore · 31/08/2008 22:47

stick, I don't thin anon meant she was the lady in the programme, I think she was just saying that this happened to her....iykwim

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 22:49

Part of me wishes I had watched this now so I could tell how realistic it was.
For me the nightmare started with a knock on the door at 7.30am. By 3pm I had lost my job, been interviewed by social services and told my children would be put on the child protection register, and had to tell my husband on the phone that he had to move out.
It took 8 weeks for all evidence to be collected and him to be charged, during this time I didn't feel able to tell my parents (I guess I was hoping it was all a mistake) and afterwards they hated me for that blaming me for keeping it a secret.

3andnomore · 31/08/2008 22:52

why did you loose your job anon...?

slayerette · 31/08/2008 22:53

Be glad you didn't watch it - it bore no resemblance to what you describe and would've probably upset you. Husband didn't move out for months; wife stayed sleeping in same bed as him, lied for him, told him she loved him; social services popped round once; no restrictions on his access to their three daughters...

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 22:54

I worked with children, and as his wife I had to be investigated as well in case I was involved.

NotAnOtter · 31/08/2008 22:54

i bloody hope you are right slayerette

stickyj · 31/08/2008 22:55

OK Listen. I have been involved in this situation. What I was trying to say was that people like him who use porn of that nature might not be adverse to messing around with his own kids but it's not always a follow on. Somehow, from what I've gleaned, pervs like him are outraged (see the programme!!) that he would touch his own kids inappropriately and try and make the wife feel guilty about doubting him. I still say that he's making her feel guilty about his "sicko stuff" and that he's acting all sweet and light for Social Services. I cannot understand your horror at a term that is used in everyday speech, ie: you don't bring the police to this door, don't bring any trouble here young man, you don't shit in yr own yard.... ie, family stuff stays in the family (even if yr being abused and no-one belives you}

slayerette · 31/08/2008 22:55

about what, notanotter?

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 22:55

My husband wasn't even allowed to see our children at our home. He was allowed only supervised visits in a public place.

3andnomore · 31/08/2008 22:58

aww, that is terrible...surely they should or could have just suspended you, until the investigation was finished, etc...

what a terrible thing to happen to you

3andnomore · 31/08/2008 22:59

anon, thaT MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE THAN HOW IT WAS PORTRAYED IN THIS DRAMA...ooops,, caps lock, wasn't shouting

NotAnOtter · 31/08/2008 22:59

slayerette that the programme does not reflect rl

stickyj

stickyj · 31/08/2008 23:00

What is

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 23:03

I was suspended but by the time they reinstated me I was so ill I could not work anyway and couldn't make enough money on my own to pay all my bills so ended up on benefits.
I became so depressed I wrote goodbye letters to my children and started to plan my death. My parents hated me but wanted to have the children all the time so at weekends they would have them to stay and I would stay at home on my own taking sleeping tablets everytime I woke up so that I could just sleep and not have to think about anything.

stickyj · 31/08/2008 23:04

I was going to talk to anon etc but now feel I can't. I hope life has settled down in ways for you, mine still has repercussions four years later. If you ain't been there, walk a mile in my shoes and listen for the comments, the gradual destruction of my business and my gradual realisation that I'd been conned, really taken in and that every other "gossip merchant" in the playground was right.

slayerette · 31/08/2008 23:04

I hope it doesn't reflect real life. I can only base what I say on the case that I know about, a man I had worked with and had liked/respected for several years. He was caught in the same way (credit card details on an American website) and although he avoided prison, he was charged and sentenced and placed on the register. He left his job instantly and has since moved away. That's my RL experience.

stickyj · 31/08/2008 23:06

anon, I just wanted to say that you know it's not your fault and life is truly unfair sometimes. I a sorry that I was on the other side of the fence, as it were, and that you had to go through hell because of someone you thought you knew.

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 23:10

stickyj please don't feel you can't talk to me. My life is better now, although it has been changed forever. I still suffer from some bouts of depression but I have a wonderful new husband (who saved my life)and 2 goregous little boys that I wouldn't have had otherwise and I have another baby due in 6 weeks.
I have kind of come out the other side but it will always be there.
I think the worst thing was feeling completely alone, there were no support groups although other women were going through it we were discouraged from contact with each other as they considered it might put our children in further danger.

stickyj · 31/08/2008 23:11

I do however think thre are degrees of "whatever the word is for badness". If my dh was caught looking at 15/16yrs olds I would be shocked and mbarrassed but would hope that my life would not be changed if it was kept quiet. My children are old enough to have "flagged a problem" IYKWIM. However, if he was looking at stuff with ittle kids or babies, then he would go. Simple as that, the police could have him and hpfully get the bastards who make millions from this shit

stickyj · 31/08/2008 23:14

OK I can sleep now. Congratulations on your new little one due soon and your gorgeous boys!! You deserve to have come out this situation whole and you sound so strong.God Bless xxx

unknownrebelbang · 31/08/2008 23:14

The way he behaved I found to be quite typical (playing down his actions; playing the victim; etc etc).

There are wives/families that do stand by their men in these situations.

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 23:18

Men who do this hide it very well. I had no clue until I got the knock on the door. Our pc was in our living room not hiden out of the way. I still don't know when he did what he did or how he could do it with out me knowing.
The police gave me some dates it had taken place and I racked my brains trying to think when.
He initally denied it, then said he came across it by accident and didn't know what it was, then said it was curiosity but didn't do anything for him.
When he went to prison he refused to take any pictures of the children because he didn't want people like that looking at his kids.

shoot · 31/08/2008 23:19

Sorry I've not read all of this, only got 2 minutes before bed, but I had to say:

Why did the guy in the programme think he'd done nowt wrong? I don't get it. It was like he thought he was innocent and his wife was just being mean to him or something!!

vvvvvvv shocking!!!

wanttobeanon · 31/08/2008 23:20

stickyj - there are degrees of 'badness' the seriousness of the pictures are graded between 1 and 5 with 5 being the most serious.

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