oh dear dad to 20 kids

[ButterflyMcQueen]

why would he change anything, he gets to swan about, pissed, having kids allover the place and us mugs pay for it ( btw have never read the daily mail in my life but thinking of getting a life membership after watching this)

It is scary what the thresholds are now to get child protection in. Neglect? Emotional abuse, surely? Plus those children will grow up, have 6 children each, not be able to parent them, and so it goes on...

This kind of family exists in every town though. Very scary how different some children's lives can be. I live in Brighton and know that some children here have never been to the sea .

can't form proper sente

listers- are you serious

Twas very , I only watch these type of things to reassure myself I'm just a crap parent, bot a really crap parent.

*not

I am on so many levels.

That people live like this.
That they see living like this is acceptable.
That SS have not intervened
That child neglect is seen as acceptable and as entertainment.
£2000 on presents and yet their basic needs are not being met.

I suppose really what other posters have said.

The little girl who had her birthday - I just want to scoop her up and pop her in my warm spare bed and give her wholesome food and give her quiet to do her homework and show her that there is an alternative.

yes she was a delight

And the stress those children must be under - intolerable. The baby in the nappy throwing the games console at the TV - how, how, how?

Ped - oh, yes I am serious. I also know families where the childen don't have their own clothes, they have whatever they can find. Same with toothbrushes, everything really.

Oddly, quite often there is a big f*ck off TV in the lounge and a leather sofa .

Children who have gone into foster care to be delighted that thye have their own pj's, and a whole bed to sleep in and dinner is cooked for them, and isn't tinned tomatoes on toast every night.

Yep, tis all horribly true. And, you know what, it is hard to blame the parents for all of this, because they weren't parented either. A significant number were so f*cked, literally and metaphorically by their own families, that they don't see that what they are doing is odd or cruel or anything other than normal.

Listers - that is what is so frightening - that this is a cycle - we learn our parenting pretty much from our own parents and thought we may "modify" the basics are probably still there. What was so sad about this family is there really didn't seem to be much chance for the children to see anything better.

i think to say we cant really blame the parents because of what their parents might have been like is rubbish. my dad and his 13 brothers and sisters were brought up in very similar circs to this and none of them live like it now

There are some sucess stories of children breaking out and being determined to do better by their own children - often with a supportive partner not from the same community. However, they are in the minority. Fast-forward to that family in a few years and see how many grandchildren that man has, and how they are being brought up...

However, research has shown that aside from really abusive families, most children do better with their shite parents than being brought up in care - hnce why SS are reluctant to take children into care (and it isn't just money, although that does come into it). However, I suspect the damage is done by the first few months if the parenting is as poor as that programme demonstrated. Children whose needs are not met when they are so young are always likely to have difficulties with relationships which will affect their own ability to parent.

Families like this are the reason things like Sure Start were set up - to get early interventions. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have worked.

I watched this and it really upset me.

Vvvqv - Do you really believe what you said in your post ??

'They are doing their best in a far from ideal situation'

They were not doing their best at all, they weren't even trying.

Those kids were bringing themselves up. The mother was never pictured doing anything other than sitting on her arse and smoking/drinking. I didn't see her cook, clean, do washing or anything. The elder dd seemed to do all of the cooking, and no one seemed to do anything else.

I think it is disgusting that SS would leave children to live like that. You can buy a bloody bed sheet from primark for a couple of pounds fgs, but no they chose to let their kids sleep wrapped in a curtain or duvet cover, or on the floor because they forgot about them.

I was parying that they would say at the end that all of the children had been taken into foster care.

a friend of mine sadly is bringing up her three children very similar to this.

Seeing the children on the programme sleeping on bare beds with no sheets etc lookied so familiar to me as I've seen the state of my friends childrens bedrooms. I went upstairs once and her kids had nothing not even toys in thier bedrooms not even curtains on the windows.

I gave her some spare bedding and curtains but was it 8used, was it fuck, she sold it behind my back to buy god knows what.

Guess what.. she had a brand new telly, dvd, playstation etc.

Yes she is a single mum on benefits etc but then again so am I (on benefits) and my kids do not do without and neither is my money spent on drink and fags

Exploitative TV at it's very best
I hate this kind of programme

I switched it off, sensationalist crap. there are tons of children living like this, there was NO benefit whatsoever in making that programme

Disgraceful.

I hope that the BBC had the sense to report these useless fecks to SS once they had finished filming.

In fact the cost of making that programme probably could feed, clothe and educate one of those children.

Agree carmenere
I meant worst in my post
Lol

I am generally on the 'exploitative tv' theme.....but this programme really did shock me. I didn't think it was made in a particuarly judgey way. I thought it did something quite interesting - it shocked me for the stereotypes and prejudices I unwittingly hold (about benefits etc) because it really showed the neglect and total moral vacuum that those children were raised in - and that is not often explored - it is generally all a bit 'lets laugh at the chavs' but I didn't think this programme did that.

I think it did the opposite - there was nothing to 'laugh at' - and also no-one to definitively blame.

I hate this kind of programme too. You only get a sensationalist side of the story, which is rubbish.

You don't know what really goes on - truth is with all of those kids, only one exclusion they must be doing something OK, even though that wasn't shown.

However, if I was in social services, I would be round there asking why on earth they cannot put a toddler to bed.

Naively I thought, when I saw the title of this programe, it would be about someone who was a single dad foster parent or something. I mean it's on the Beeb!

Am so glad I missed it now.

It is disgusting that in this day and age these poor children are allowed to remain with parents who obviously are incapable of caring for them appropriately. I had neighbours who were druggies, quite happy with the status quo, they had 9 kids between them but only 2 lived with them - the dad was quite open that with kids the courts would be less likely to send him to jail. Nice.

I don't know if the programme mentioned it but alcoholics are given extra benefits to pay for booze - unbelievable but it would mean the rest of their money should be free to spend on the children. Perhaps if this was happening they should be given food vouchers or something instead of money? Anything to get them to buy food not booze. And yes, it is always the case that while the poor children are left in squalor, there is always a huge tv, dvd player, stereo etc. etc. It will continue until someone steps in to say that this is not on, the children deserve better. What was the lesson from that story on the woman whose child was taken away - its In The News section? You can keep your kids if you are a blatant neglector but heaven help you if you come across a frustrated official?

Does anyone remember a documentary made a good few years ago called 'Hannah and her sisters'

I often wonder what happened to them. They were being brought up in similar circumstances.