I liked the opening pro dance: classy, I’m a sucker for silver dresses. I also loved song and later found it was by Raye.
In no particular order because I don’t know them well yet and had to look them up:
Diane and Will - Samba- I thought he was very unremarkable. How can you not shift your arse to that Robbie song? I was kind and said 6 but the judges were harsh tonight so I was way off. Maybe 4?
Shaun and Alexis - Cha Cha Cha - he was awful. Lacking in content and any ability. I can’t think of anything nice to say. Alexis is lovely but she should have got behind that bugger. I would use a stick! What is it about (men) footballers. I gave it 2 but it should be none.
Lawrence and Jowita - Paso. I used to love a paso but I’m so fucking bored with the Strictly version. Creepy Wollowitz vibes. Spanish line? More like a bus ride in off season Benidorm. 5
John and Katya - Foxtrot- pretty good, clean, light. Not bad 5
Graeme and Lauren cha cha - well I had a feeling he’d be ok. He’s a very dapper gentleman and animal training is all about how you position your self. Plenty of content and clearly well rehearsed. I liked the song (version of hound dog) I give him a 6 because he’s took it seriously and worked.
Amy and Chris - Tango - I thought they should have been in hold more. Amy’s dress got a 10 from me. But his dancing: 4 tops, she’s got her work cut out.
Cach and Maddie- Quick Step - well how stupid was that? He is a gorgeous gorgeous dancer but that wasn’t a Quick Step. Silly girl tried to use his natural ability to get marks, she needs to read the ball room rule book. I’m glad Craig and Shirley trounced them. Personally, I would have disqualified them. Zero .
Tabby and Mark - jive - good first attempt. Her kicks were ok? But were her legs wonky? Does that matter? But her athleticism and ability will make her a contender I think. I liked Mark too. 6
Sarah and Julian - quick step - nervous performance but I think she has potential. 4
Stacey’s mum and Alijaz - cha cha - oh! not the omelette joke. She tried though. He’s lovely and clearly was helping her. I hope she gets a nice waltz next week. 4
Lacey and Vito - yet another cha cha - oh she wasn’t bad, nervous but tried. I reckon Vito has worked her hard this week. He is so lovely (at risk of sounding like the old ladies in Night of the Nearly Dead here) and she’s fallen on her feet. I gave it 6.
Jaime and Carlos - she looks disconcertingly like her dad - two daughters of cockney hard men in this. Disco Tango . Only I don’t see much tango. Loved costumes and song. Where are your arms and shoulders darling? 5
Delta and Kai - Samba - muito bom! Well not bad anyway. More samba than other sambas this week. I say not quite an 8 but definitely she’s going to be very good. 7
Dani and Nikita - samba - she’s been to dance studio every day for a year I bet. It nearly paid off but her footwork was suspect in my view. A generous 6 from me because she can move.
Bethany and Nancy - not just trying to be right on here but I thought they were lovely. They’d clearly worked hard. Kept thinking of Ozzie and Kelly in Changes at start. But it oozed confidence and ability. Nice quick step all the way. 7
I don’t know who was more useless out of the two male presenters? Johannes trying to talk over applause or widdicome missing all his cues and grinning at some joke no one got.
I’d keep Emma and I quite like the idea of an ex pro receiving the dancers when the scores come out but J needs a lesson in interviewing technique and basic television skills.
Sack the little year 7 man altogether. Or let him add up the scores. Why did he get job?
Anton’s joke about “blow dries” was awful. Later in series a bit of risqué banter might work but everyone was nervous.
As ever, the real stars were the band and set and costumes designers. The floor manager needs to be tighter, who was on the autocue? Should ensure JoJo and “Joshie” know it’s there.