Julie Goodyear photo - Bet Lynch

[littlecottonbud]

The husband has released a photo of Julie Goodyear - I feel this was best kept private, and to remember her how she was a glamorous blonde fierce bombshell, and not looking a shell of her former self. She has dementia so thankfully won't be aware of the published image (which I won't post here)

People are saying she would have hated it but I think her husband who she has been with for over 30 years might know her a bit better than people that have watched her on Corrie. She may have consented, while she was still able to him posting things to highlight the cruelty of dementia.

Is she not worthy as an octogenarian?

Your post is very very ageist. She is NOT Better Lynch. She is Julie Goodyear. And she is fabulous.

I think you have missed the point.

Her dh has since removed the photo because of comments like this. Because of strangers saying they ‘want to remember her how she was’. As if her current state should be hidden away shamefully. It’s disgraceful. He posted that photo because it was a happy moment. Who the fuck are the general public to tell him he’s wrong for doing so? People are pathetically entitled. Let those closest to her decide how to honour her. She was and still is fabulous.

On a side note my personal favourite memory of her was in CBB telling heather trot ‘don’t talk SHITE’ and throwing a glass of water on her as part of a secret task.

Exactly. The horror at ageing expressed on this thread is quite alarming. Why the hell should anyone only be remembered as they were in their prime?

I feel sorry for the poor bloke facing this barrage of criticism on top of all the stresses of loving someone with dementia.

I actually thought he was right to share it. It was a happy photograph. We should allm celebrate those moments. Did she have to have make up on to seek anyone's approval?

She is an ill lady that looked really happy. I thought it was nice to see

People are entitled to have opinions, and if he didn’t want to read any he shouldn’t have posted the photo.

I also think it’s alarming that there’s people on this thread who struggle to comprehend informed consent. Google is your friend - it takes just a few seconds to find out.

So many comments on this thread made me really sad. I know of someone in his 70s who just doesn’t visit his wife anymore now ( in her 70s with dementia in a care home). How loving and lovely that JG’s husband visits incredibly regularly, takes her out on her birthday and posts a photo on FB as so many do. The emphasis on her looks and the import attached to that is frightening - we all age and as we get older all that matters is that we’re still loved, with or without dementia. Even if we cared a great deal when we were younger about our looks, that doesn’t mean we’d continue to rate that as so important as we got older. I was also truly shocked at the viscous comments about her husband being paid for the photos - says much about the posters.

Nobody is questioning or criticising JGs husband for taking her out to celebrate her birthday and making a fuss of her. The central discussion is around consent and the sharing of an image on social media when the person concerned doesn't have capacity. The fact people are conflating these things shows how pernicious Social Media has become in blurring boundaries and human rights around consent.

It’s the missing teeth though. Poor lady

The most likely explanation is that she simply doesn’t want to wear them for whatever reason. For those of you fixated on consent, this would be up to her, wouldn’t it?

The issue of informed consent is doing a lot of heavy lifting on this thread isn’t it? If it had been a glamorous photo of her would anyone have mentioned whether or not she’d consented? But the issue would have been the same - JG is clearly not capable of giving informed consent. The photo is only unacceptable to some because it’s unvarnished and they have problems with the realities of ageing and dementia. Informed consent is being used as a smokescreen.

One of the key factors in dementia care is finding moments of joy and connection. It looks like this was one of those moments- you can see real happiness in her eyes and affection towards the person taking the photograph. Maybe he was sharing that, a happy time during challenging circumstances?

Her husband has been an advocate for dementia awareness. I think lots of the responses to this photo show there is still plenty of stigma about the disease and a wish to hide it away. Many of my friends share pictures of their parents, with dementia, on SM.

Exactly. My aunt in law with dementia had a wonderful 90th birthday celebration. Lots of happy photos on FB next day. Someone said that she’d have forgotten all about the party by then and didn’t really know what was going on but I thought that she’d been happy in the moment and that remained true and valid. I also think those who love and care for people with dementia deserve to be able to share and validate positive times with the person they love. To get some maybe defiant joy from the moment and not just past memories.

It’s not a lovely photo. I’d be fucking mortified if someone posted that of me.
It wasn’t his call to make and she can’t give consent, so …
A cynic might say it gave him 5 minutes of fame.

Yes it's lovely to share precious moments....with the family, not the whole world.
🙄

All the people who say how lovely and happy she looks, I wonder if in 10, 20, 50 years time, if they are unfortunate to be suffering from dementia and have no say in what their 'carers' are sharing about them, they would like the photos, of them, toothless, wearing a track suit...(which is a million miles away from how this woman presented herself to the world) to be published in a national rag??

Not many I am guessing.

Well, from the point of view of not having been diagnosed with dementia as yet, I'd say fine, if I'm happy, it would be nice to have photos showing people with dementia can be happy rather than the currently advertised living dead (the 'Mum died once when...' adverts which the PILs find immensely distressing because it reminds them what their future is going to be like - and DP as a result).

And from the point of view if I had dementia - well, I wouldn't have a clue really, would I? - I'd just be happy.

Other people's revulsion at the sight of somebody looking old compared to their professional image from thirty odd years ago, is more of a concern to me. Which is what the 'She'd be horrified' is really about in my opinion; 'I'm revolted by her appearance and she would be upset by my revulsion'.

It has nothing to do with revulsion, it's about respect.

When Toni Morrison, the great.American writer, was having a photograph taken when she won an award, the photographer reassured her that he would remove lines and wrinkles from her portrait. She sharply forbade him to do any such thing saying that she had earned every line and wrinkle on her face.
I was.pleased to seeJulie's picture in.her old age. She.is obviously happy and relaxed in spite of her dementia.. This is a good photo.

That’s a daft comparison because Toni Morrison didn’t have dementia.

You can't tell from the photo that Julie has it.
.She looks happy and relaxed. Her husband probably loves that pic because it is proof of a good day.
.

So he should treasure that memory and look at the photo often, just as many people do with their loved ones who can no longer make decisions.