Adolescence

[heartsinvisiblefury]

What an amazing piece of television. Stephen Graham is exceptional. Highly recommend this - on Netflix.

You just watched the one episode then

I do t think it sits well as a binge watch. It’s too intense. Episodes 3 and, 4 in particular, need some time to digest. I cried my eyes out at Episode 4.

It’s definitely being pushed on social media, to be honest that’s how I know what to avoid 🤣

It started off well, but got more and more boring as it went on! The school episode was ridiculous and it went downhill from there. It could have been a great watch with that story line.

How did the police know it was Jamie on the first place? I know everyone swears all the time in TV dramas but do the police, teachers, school kids and parents shout 'fuck' at each other all the time? It's so predictable and depressing. Also, I got fixated on how the detective walked around with his hands in his pockets all the time during the school visit. On the whole, for me it's not as stellar as the critics have been saying.

'I also think Stephen Graham is highly overrated and always seems to play a version of the same role'

Totally agree, I've never seen him play anything other than himself. He is so massively overhyped. The long stares, the constant sniffing.

Only seen 2 Eps, watching as it gets such good reviews. Ep 2 was ridiculous all those school scenes and as if he'd tell his colleague about the incel/bullying disclosure from his son infront of the school staff member showing them around 🙄.

Also that is some quick policing, a murder at 10.30pm and CCTV reviewed and the perp identified and arrested all by 6am the next day. Why didn't his dm know her 13yr ds was out at 10pm on a school night?

Thr police station scenes were interesting, I'd no idea a 13yr was interviewed and kept in an adult facility.

I'll keep watching to see if there's a twist or interesting development and try and ignore Graham's annoying character.

I’d definitely keep watching. Of the four episodes the school is probably the … least strong. Episode 3 is dynamite.

I was also wondering why a parent would let a 13 year old hang around outside at 10pm on any night. Did they even know he was out?

Stephen Graham carried it. I thought the boy was rubbish! Mediocre at best and definitely don’t understand the hype.

How did he carry it? Don't you think he was exactly the same character as everything else he's been in? So, bent prison officer in 'Time' long stares and sniffs, ocg (or was he undercover I forget) in Line Of Duty long stares and sniffs.

I'm maybe wrong and he has been in something where he has actually acted and played a different character but I haven't seen it.

I wonder how much knife crime is down to teen girls bullying 13yr old boys. I'd guess nil.

Surely a more useful drama would've been about knife culture, gang culture and drugs.

I’m not disputing he’s often the same character type - but he does a good job of it. I think he’s an excellent actor and he carried this show where half of them were rubbish. The kids were all crap, episode 3 could have been good if Jamie had been half convincing, and I was disappointed with the police man because he was great as Dushane.

Was a bit distracted by the one tracking shot of the episodes. Kept dissecting how cleverly all the actors had to do their timing, and what if someone forgot their lines???!!!
found it rather long and dull. Kept trying to fast forward.

Really enjoyed it, heartbreaking and perhaps not my best choice for a Saturday night 🤣
a scary and real insight into how families lives change forever.
there’s no doubt that parenting style and life experience shape our kids future, including what goes on at school and social media.
that said there was a great part where Steven Graham made reference to his daughter and asked the mother ‘how did we manage to raise her’ (meaning she turned out so well) and the mother says ‘just the same way we did with him’ . Heartbreaking

We thought it was absolutely excellent.

The polices man's relationship with his son just highlighted he faced the same issue with his child that the other parents did - he didn't know/understand the issues running in schools with social media and non-violent bullying (you think everything is fine if you're child isn't coming home with a black eye - you can punish physical bullying). It could just as easily be his kid - was the point of that interaction. When he said the bit about not being the right parent for his kid - this hit home and was really powerful.

The psychologist episode was fascinating. On the face of it- you have a charming, bright and amusing young teen. When you scratch a bit deeper you uncover a child painfully sensitive to rejection, suffering from really low self-esteem, who feels like an outsider and is lonely. You can see exactly why this child is vulnerable to the likes of Andrew Tate.

The lessons DH and I took from it that we talked about after watching:

• with the Internet these days, just because your teen is home doesn't mean their 'safe' in their bedrooms (we'd thought the safety issue was more for primary school kids)

• kids pick up behaviours from their parents. The part where he talked about being bad at everything (something reflected by his parents about themselves) - DH and I said - this reinforces that it's not just about building DC's self-esteem it's also about presenting a strong self-esteem ourselves. Let's be honest about things we're good at and the things we are bad at.

I thought the interaction about 'aren't you supposed to say' was a wake up call too. Our kids know when we're placating or dismissing them. He wasn't ugly, but his parents just dismissed his feelings instead of asking 'oh son, why are feeling like that?'.

The one thing that didn't fit for us was the beginning when no one asked - who? Who has been murdered? I also agree the part with Jade felt alien to us - why is this young girl being so rude to police officers? But it was resolved when we found out at the very least Ryan was part of a conspiracy to murder.

Overall though we thought it was fantastic.
We thought the lad and Dad were excellent acting wise.

Yep! Completely agree. It demonstrates that for young teens they are strongly influenced by friends/social media etc. After primary things can often become beyond our control - meaning the need for strong open relationships are more important than ever.

It is precisely why this type of programme is important.

This movement is much more insidious and from the reaction to this film you can see it has hit a nerve and has everyone talking and thinking.

Parents do need to be aware of this as the impacts go very very deep into the wider relationships with self and the world.

Self reflection and Wake up call indeed.

Graham was asked in an interview was it based on a true story, no he says just identifies the knife crime problem we have massively missing the point that this is usually gang, drug based crime or extremists.

It'd actually have been more believable if it had been based on a true story but a well brought up kid, stable family life (only on ep 2 so perhaps he has been terribly abused and has a history of disturbed behaviour but initial signs say not) suddenly attacks a girl and kills hers. Yeah right.

Heartbreaking and highly reflective of the schools and boys I work with.

This report echoes what the show portrays about how vulnerable these boys are to consuming violence and porn online, and the consequences.

https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/CSJ-The_Lost_Boys.pdf

This isn't true though. And if you want a true story see below. 13yr old boy who was stabbed in a very wealthy area of Manchester - these were not gangs or drug lords. They were teenage boys attending private schools.

BBC News - Yousef Makki: Teenager denies 'red mist' led to stabbing death - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-48884210

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/teenager-yousef-makki-hale-barns-cheshire-manchester-b2430595.html

'Yousef Makki, 17, was fatally stabbed on 2 March in a row over a botched attempt to rob a drug dealer, Manchester Crown Court has heard.'

Yes as I said usually drug, gang or extremism related. I'm not suggesting those attending private school can't be involved in any of those things.

I'll watch the remaining 3 eps, perhaps he isn't a stable, well brought up nice boy in a nice family and we find out he's been messing about on the dark web or something for years. If the parents didn't know where their 13yr old was at 10pm on a school night there must be more to his actions.

I know it was probably to say anyone can be a murderer, but I think it would have been better if Jamie was older, or bigger, in it, he was hardly threatened to the psychologist.

Yes this lost me as well and the whole ‘never heard of Andrew Tate’ thing - teachers know who he is and understand the radicalisation of young men and SM!

also, for a programme about toxic masculinity there was zero focus on the female victim or the impact on her family- with the exception of her friend which I felt was badly done.

episode 3 was superb though

It wasn't quite like that. I don't think 2 lads arguing over £45 worth of weed is a 'drug gang related' stabbing. They were impersonating being gangsters - something, if I remember rightly, the documentary covers, they weren't actually gangsters. It goes to the point about social media influencing, in this instance, not the Andrew Tate influence but the glamorising of gangster culture through music.

But you raise the point that DH and I discussed - kids committing such a heinous crime surely would come from a much more dysfunctional homes. This family didn't feel so dysfunctional to produce a lad who would go that far. But I think the point being made was a warning - and probably one as parents we can still see as valid.

I thought it was very clever in the final episode where we saw Stephen Graham displaying toxic masculinity whilst simultaneously wondering how this happened to his son.

Obviously he is stressed but the wife and daughter are called ‘girls’ , disregards his wife cooking, makes a mess, he orders them around, can’t find a sponge without his wife’s help, decides what they’re doing and where they’re going, comments on them liking to shop and spend money, humiliates them when he loses his temper, frightens them when he chases down the teenager and causes damage to the shops car park.

The entire time he remains kind and civil towards them but it showed how visceral this stuff really is.