Couples Therapy Season Three

[crochetmonkey74]

Anyone watching.
I find this programme so fascinating I love it!

I didn't get what she was saying about Sean and deflectors

Watching episode 17.
Nadine just wants her cake and eat it.
I'm not taking to her

God now the other person (can't remember name) said she was in love with someone else anyway while they were in their relationship.
This is such a weird relationship

Brock says he wants a partnership where they commit to not hurting each other but Kristi says she can't do that?! I don't understand?!

I just didn't get Kristi and Brock

I really didn't like the way Christine was opening up about her trauma in Palestine and Orna actually stopped her and asked her if she knew her background? Christine said no, and went to carry on talking then Orna said "I'm Israeli'. It was as if she was 'warning' her or trying to silence her about the issue. Orna it's not about you!

@ivantheterrible101
hmmm, I think if Christine had laid into the Israelis and discovered afterwards that Orna was Israeli then she would probably have been mortified so I think Orna was trying to be transparent and prevent that scenario.

'so I think Orna was trying to be transparent and prevent that scenario.'

Absolutely. That was an important thing for Orna to disclose

Yay loved this

But Christine didn't sling mud at anyone, she didn't even make it an us vs them, she was reflecting on how the bombing made her feel scared. In the peer advocate session Orna said she had a lot of guilt because it was "her people" who were responsible for Christine's trauma. To me her disclosure was a way to protect herself from those uncomfortable feelings.
Your therapist is a professional, they shouldn't need to disclose anything about their private life/background as the therapy work is not about them. They are there to help the person unpack feelings about themselves, not insert themselves into the mix.
If I went to a therapist and said that I was assaulted in Germany and the therapist stopped me to disclose that her mother is German, I'd be thinking wtf, this isn't remotely relevant to my case.

You're wrong. It was important and relevant for Orna to disclose. It would have been bad practice not to. She wasn't making it about her. And Christine knew anyway.

Why though? I'm asking a genuine question. I wouldn't want to be paying a therapist good money for them to be interjecting with their own history/background that I then have to be mindful of. It's my session, I shouldn't have to consider policing my own feelings in order to protect or save theirs. I went back and watched it and Christine didn't even say which country she grew up in, Orna asked and Christine just stated West Bank. Orna then asked which town within that area. Then Orna said 'do you know my background?' and Christine said no and carried on. Orna then said 'because I'm Israeli'. That eliciting conversation didn't seem necessary to me at all.
Does that mean if I as a therapist belong to a church which holds beliefs against homosexuality and I have a client who mentions that he was the victim of homophobia that I should disclose this (hidden) information about myself?

I should mention I really like Orna and have nothing against her. It just seemed an odd conversation to me, we've never heard her ask anyone where they are from, let alone specific towns and coupled with what she said during the peer advocate session it seemed to me that it was a way to control what Christine was going to further say, in order to assuage her from her feelings of guilt. Maybe I should become a psychoanalyst.

I don't really understand what you're not getting. Christine said she was from Palestine, so Orna checked that she knew she was Israeli for full disclosure. It might have been the case Christine didn't know this and would be uncomfortable if she had known. As it turned out, Christine said yes, she did know. She had already decided to proceed on that basis. How is this Orna inserting her background? She was being professional. Using your analogy, if you went to a therapist and it turned out it was your rapist's father, would you not expect to be told?

'How is this Orna inserting her background? She was being professional.'

Exactly. She clarified that Christine knew she was Israeli, then moved straight on, didn't discuss her own feelings or opinions or thoughts at all. All completely appropriate

Oh wow thanks for the heads up about the new episodes. It’s so annoying that they’ve not put it as a new series, I totally missed it.

I'm genuinely just wondering why it's relevant to mention the therapists background when it has nothing to do with them. I don't see why she had to give disclosure that's she's Israeli? She wasn't giving her opinion on the matter (in which case I think it should be disclosed) and why would Christine care or it be relevant to Christine's trauma?
The father being a rapist analogy is not comparable at all. Unless Orna's father is planting bombs or she's an outward member of a pro Zionist group then her being Israeli per se does not mean that she even supports the occupation. Christine's trauma is not her fault.
I'm "not getting" how far this disclosure being professional goes within therapy, and I'm just trying to understand that. I'm sure therapists and their clients often have differing stances/opinions on things and if you are professional I can't see why it would matter. Eg if I spoke to a therapist about trauma from an abortion and she told me she's part of an anti abortion group, I'd be quite annoyed as I'm not paying to have her feelings/stances bolstered or protected, which I would feel that disclosure is about.

It's not about Orna's views but about giving her client relevant information so her client can make an informed decision about whether she is an appropriate therapist for them.

It's not about whether Orna can disregard her feelings, but about whether her client can disregard theirs.

If Christine hadn't already known, she would 100% have found out at some point. That's the context. Going back to your analogy, if your therapist were anti-abortion you might never know, unless you saw them standing outside your local abortion clinic with a placard - at which point I'm sure you would feel aggrieved if they hadn't mentioned they were a pro life activist.

I can imagine a scenario where someone with Christine's history might not feel comfortable with an Israeli therapist. As it turned out I think she saw it as a positive. So she hadn't even disregarded it herself in assessing whether Orna was right for her and Nadine.

I can't remember when, but at some point Orna has also discussed whether her black clients feel she's the right therapist for them.

And she said she might not be the right therapist for that dickhead Sean.

That's being more professional than just taking their money and disregarding what's best for them.

@Doyoumind thanks for that. In the case of sonething visible, eg the therapist's colour I can definitely see why it might be an issue for the client, as they may feel a power imbalance etc. I was just surprised that something hidden such as country of origin would be an issue.

Christ I’m not even reading Mau’s post

ridiculous to write that much about himself
like seriously 😂

Really enjoying this series

it’s funny as I’ve been in therapy for a year so find it more fascinating

I really like orna

I do wonder if this is screened in the US
they are so open I can’t imagine !?

Season 4 just arrived on BBC iplayer 👍🏼

Oooh hooray !!!!

Oooh yes, I’ve already binged it all!

Only 9 episodes. I've binged the lot already!