MAFS OZ (spoilers thread)

[Sagealicious]

Starts here in Oz 30th January so thought I'd give everyone a heads up if you're watching in real time with us.

In case anyone needs a reminder this will be the spoiler/up to date thread. Someone else can start the UK pace one.

I agree completely. I don't think Jesse is doing this deliberately. I just think he doesn't have the skills or ability to communicate and empathise with other people.

I am reluctant to suggest ASD (although it did occur to me) because all too often, people suggest that to excuse shitty behaviour, but I think in this case it does really seem like he just doesn't understand the social behaviours necessary in any situation. It doesn't seem at all manipulative or deliberate, just clueless.

I think he's genuinely quite vulnerable.

Omg I'm late to the game! I only just heard there's a new series. I have some catching up to do. The last series was so awful but good

I’m conflicted about Jesse.

I think Claire has unrealistic expectation that’s she think Jesse should do and say everything she expects him to. And she clings on to fairly mundane comments and blows them out of proportion. And to tell the group the quite intimate details of his insecurities he communicated to her was a bit unnecessary.

Bronte is annoying me though. I hate it when the girls just go overly defensive of their ‘sisters’ and stir the pot more than they need to. Especially when Bronte’s marriage is massively in the toilet and she is married to someone who is half the man Jesse is and is making excuses for him.

Anyone else think Jesse looks like Russell Brand?

Also massive props to Melinda for being the only one to call out Harrison’s bullshit.

I'm watching it already, it's been pretty good so far.

Yes. I've done a 180 on her.

I also don't mind Jesse.

Jesse is basically perfect compared to Harrison. He has ‘fuckboy’ written all over him.

I love it when they have to rank the other contestants in terms of attractiveness, can’t wait for the next episode! It’s always the same - the men go on beat looking women and the women go for the least shittbag men

He is all I can see when Jesse is on screen

Harrison is 2023’s Bryce. Let’s hope Brontë sees him for what he is very soon

Just been thinking about Jesse again. I think the part where he was telling his side of the Shushing incident was telling.

It was cut away to him talking to the camera about how he was working out who was on his side and who was his 'enemy' - identifying Brontë as his enemy.

So black and white. No idea that, maybe, this questioning is the whole point. He should be able to defend his actions and behaviours - and if he can't, then maybe he might be the problem?

He genuinely doesn't know how the world works. He does need a gentle ally who he can take advice from. I hope someone befriends him and gets the message through in a way he can accept. I think that's what he needs.

He does like to put things (and people) into boxes. Right or wrong, friend or foe...

I find the whole over reaction (from Clare) to being shushed very interesting. My DH is SO loud, his voice Carrie’s really far and a normal conversation can sound like shouting especially in public when there’s background noise. I’m so pleased he’s not as sensitive as Clare as I usually say “Oi, mouth, they don’t need to hear you in the North Pole, pipe down” 🤣

Yes. I thought this was an overreaction too.

I think, like Domenica last series, she has obviously been told to shush a lot in the past and it has become a sensitive spot.

I don't like being around loud people either, so I do get Jesse's point of view.

I don't have a lot of patience with 'this is who I am' as a reason to not change a thing for the comfort of those around you. Dropping her voice by a few decibels isn't fundamentally changing who she is, is it?

The thing about not wanting her to make comments is more of a problem, though. Although I also understand being irritated by constant inane chatter. I wouldn't deal well with that either.

It's tricky. I think they may just not be compatible for those reasons. He needs someone a little more reserved. Sort of quirky, but quiet!

He just really hasn't handled the fall out very well, though. He obviously has rules about not making the first move, which is a worry. He hasn't learned to be the bigger man - and it seems to feed his insecurity to give an inch or to apologise unprompted.

I find Jesse frustrating and I agree that he has a black and white view of the world and needs some help with his social interaction skills but I don't think he's being deliberately rude unlike Harrison who knows exactly what he's doing. I've known people like him in the past, will always remain calm while telling the other person that they're wrong, crazy, angry, etc. Victim gets angry and the abuser remains calm making the other person look crazy etc. Harrison is playing the book to a T.

This 👆
Harrison gives me bad flashbacks. I have an ex who used to do this. He trained me to apologise and make it up to him when his behaviour had been atrocious. My reaction to his bad behaviour was always worse than the behaviour itself (E.g. getting upset 'just to make him feel bad')

It is hideous gaslighting - and a very deliberate way to avoid accountability and always keep the upper hand.

If she stays with him, she will learn to keep her feelings to herself and let him get away with all manner of absolute shit to avoid reprisals - which is exactly how he wants it.

It's evil.

The dinner party....Brontë run now and don't look back. Kudos to Mel for calling him out. I quite like her now and I was unsure before. Shaping up to be a cracking series

Yes Kudos to Mel. She has also gone up in my estimation too.

I have just seen a clip of guy that reminded me of Chandler being an absolute tool in tonight's offering (as well as Harrison of course but we knew that)

Jessie, I imagine.

Just watched episode 6 and am feeling a little bit shaken. When Jesse described his previous relationship it was exactly like mine, only I allowed mine to go on for longer. It's soul destroying because you constantly doubt yourself and question yourself and allow yourself to be badly treated over and over. I stayed with my ex for 4.5 years until it actually got too much for me and by the time I ended it I was taking medication for anxiety plus other issues. Jesse was more positive about it than me, he said it shows your level of love for the other person when you accept that behaviour, he's found a positive side to it. I'm disgusted with myself that I accepted that behaviour for so long, always believing that it would change. I have a lot of sympathy for Jesse now, I don't think I would be willing to take a risk and put myself in that position again.

I'm still clueless with who is who but one of the guys on the picture task was such a bellend...oh well I've not seen them without make up but I've seen you without make up, you could level yourself up (or words to that effect). F U mofo!

Thank you for this link - had a good binge watch!

On episode 7 now, going to do a ‘my thoughts on’ couple run down when I’m done.

I have to say I’m mainly watching for Lyndall and Cameron. If they don’t work out I may have to take a day to mourn 😂 they are so ruddy adorable

Funny someone mentioned Bryce - can you believe him and Melissa have had two babies and got engaged!! I follow them on Instagram and they seem really happy, their babies are gorgeous and they’re clearly doing an amazing job. It’s mad to think that was the same couple - with a really toxic, bullying energy from Bryce and walkover Melissa just took it all - we had to watch from behind a cushion 2 years ago!

I mentioned Bryce. I really hope that Brontë has more self esteem than Melissa appeared to have. I think Bryce learned a lot about himself and grew up. They do seem really happy now