I am Ruth. Channel 4.

[Tirrrrred]

Anyone going to be watching this Thursday?

I saw the advert a couple of weeks ago and meant to Google the daughter. I thought she was Kate Winslet's daughter IRL as they look so alike. She is.

I love all "I Am" programmes. Although they are very deep and thought provoking.

Wasn't keen on the Suranne Jones one.

You're welcome! And I didn't realise there were so many either! I will watch them all over the next couple of weeks.

I am sure it helped not make it any worse. I think some of the messages coming in in the middle of the night and the lack of sleep for teens is like a form of torture.

But you are right, there have been troubled teens, self harm, eating disorders etc well before there was ever phones or indeed screens of any kind

Phones have been a massive part and cause of their severe mental health issues even though we limited them earlier .It makes no difference. Parents really are struggling with a huge problem. You can’t remove them but they are hugely damaging. I think some children are less able to cope with them but they’re damaging for all.

@BytheSea6773 Totally agree , one of mine is fine with the phone, the other one it’s the source of so much upset

It’s godalming :)

And it’s not just social media.It’s apps like Myfitness Pal, live,steaming sites…

Its a nightmare.

Beautifully acted but I felt a bit underwhelmed having been through similar, and still going through it to a certain extent with DS. Once CAMHS, the police and social services come on board, you learn to not be embarrassed. I remember the powerlessness and swinging between shouting and being gentle, anything to get some sort of reaction or connection. But, I've become desensitised to it so was getting a bit exasperated at the sad music and the general sense of doom and panic.

You are not on your own @RoseBucket big big hug for you. X

I watched with my almost 13 year old daughter as she's at the age where her phone is becoming increasingly important. I think it depends on the individual child. My DH wasn't so keen for her to watch but I felt it was something quite powerful to watch together as it showed both sides and the breakdown of their relationship, all caused by the online world.

This wasn't quite what I expected from the talk on the radio and TV about this. I turned it off half way as didn't enjoy the way it was filmed but did think KW and daughter were very good, . I felt like she became disconnected from mum and withdrew into her on line activity rather than the other way around.

To be honest the drama didn’t go the way I thought it might as the fact it was called I am Ruth I thought it maybe was the mother who was going to end up losing herself and in more crisis than the daughter . She did seem like she was really struggling and all those say she needed to be stronger for her daughter obviously have not suffered with mental health issues . Often passed down to them from one of their own parents . Everything can just get on top of you especially around middle age .

I thought it was excellent. Both my DCs have suffered w their MH esp through the lockdowns with one behaving similarly to Freya (apart from the cutting). As a parent you really don’t know what to do for the best so I sympathised with Ruth - my DC also spent a lot of time in bed at that point. I did eye roll at the camhs bit - at 17 you’d ne an adult before reaching the top
of the list - they needed to address that.

This was a hard watch for me also.
I have a 14 year old with mental health issues. I recognise a lot of the feelings and conversations.
As pp have said though Cahms is a long process and not a magic bullet. My dd is there every week but nothing seems to get better. She is refusing school. The girl was 17 my dd is 14. Wishful thinking we would be through it by then.

The smoking thing was a but weird as for most Mother's I have spoken too its often the child vaping and smoking weed and making bad decisions drink too.

To balance the phone thing I do get the social media aspect and the addiction but they have been a life line for my daughter for friends contact ( luckily she has a good set) texting me when she feels she can't say something and a distraction from her intrusive thoughts.

In a way made me feel less alone.

This was a tough watch and I really feel for the families dealing with this on a daily basis.
My friend is going through this with her 14 year old DD. It's been years already and I'm sad there are probably more years to come.
My friend has lost a lot of weight with the stress of it and even had to give up her job.
I am still strict about no phones in bedroom at night even though my DS is now in sixth form. He would most definitely not be able to switch off from it. Not sure what will happen when he goes to uni but he will be an adult then and have to work that out for himself.

I've watched half of it and will watch the rest in a few minutes.

The mum (Kate Winslet), irritates me somewhat. Do people really carry on like that with their teenage children? I understand she is concerned about her daughter but she never lets up! Talking on the 'phone to her eldest about his sister - not just once - is simply not on. If my mum was like that I'd run away to get some peace!

Daughter seems like a sullen, podgy teen; there are many like that, quite normal, they generally outgrow it and frequently blossom.

I'll see how both characters develop. There may be some surprises.

Nice bit of fat-shaming there! PODGY? FFS! She most certainly was not!

She wasn't podgy at all! Jeez no wonder we all have issues.

Podgy!! Bloody hell! No wonder teenagers are under so much pressure with comments like that 😡

Fuck off with your podgy @LBFseBrom

is she fuck. I though she was beautiful.

No one seems to have mentioned the "slut shaming" bit, but jumped on someone for the podgy comment, minus the blooming bit, of course.

@NeelyOHara1 I totally get where you are coming from. However, in my opinion, Ruth slut shaming her daughter was a reactive comment as part of the story about a mother not knowing how to deal with the problem and not handling it well.

The podgy comment was from a real person and an unnecessary, incorrect and damaging comment on a young woman's figure and not comparable at all to the story. For Mia to be labelled podgy just demonstrates what is wrong with our society and contributes to the story that I Am Ruth is trying to get across about the horrible side of social media.

I cried. And cried

I identified with the daughter.

I identified with the hurt from the things the mum said. And the lashing out.

I identified with the feeling that they love the other child more.

But I kept mine secret. No one would give me a hug anyway.

God I still feel the pain and the programme's finished

@purpleme12 ❤️

i was v uncomfortable w the slut comment in the show but that was part of a drama, albeit realistic.
The OP mentioning that Freya/Mia us lodge us completely out of order as she’s not at all, plus this is a real persons figure we are talking about - exactly why the character is having issues. Because she’s shamed
on SM. Ffs.

@LBFseBrom - you’ve got that totally wrong esp w the podgy comment.