Annoyingly unrealistic things in soap operas

[Floogal]

Ones I've noticed are:
People frequenting cafés and pubs, especially when the characters are supposed to be skint (I'm not skint thankfully, but I can't afford to do that).

People who seem to earn a good wage working for the local family firm or start up.

In the case of doctors, GPs that are caring and read between the lines and chase up patients. Oh and the reception staff rehearsing for a dance competition

Weddings and funerals.

All your neighbours turn up but not your family.

No one specifies a brand of beer, just 'a pint'

Hidden pregnancies.

Long lost relatives turning up.

Nobody shops at asda or tesco, they all go to the newsagents on the corner and a market stall for fruit.

People always announce life changing news in a packed pub.

They all work v near where they live

After a few weeks / months other members of their families move to the area

They never go on holiday

They will go to the local cafe for a cup of tea (when they live 2 doors away)

Lunch HOUR in the pub

So unrealistic!

No one ever goes overdue with a pregnancy, or has to be induced. I can’t remember the last baby born ‘normally’ in coronation street.

Homeless men who look far too clean and scrubbed for someone living on the streets (looking at corrie again!)

People with something very important to say that would clarify a terrible misunderstanding immediately and stop this awful public argument just can't get a word in edgeways.

Everyone marries someone that lives in the same street or village as them. And then later has an affair with someone who also lives on the same street/ village.

When someone leaves, they have two suitcases.. when I go on holiday my car is full to bursting.

They are all able to produce elaborate fancy dress outfits for a party they were invited to the day before.

Kids who skive school but end up with above average grades

That they drink from paper cups that are obviously not empty ( see also suitcases). I never understand why the props people can't whack some water in the cups to make it more realistic.

Big dramas at Xmas, if you are pregnant you will go into labour.

If you already have a baby something will happen, they may end up in hospital.

Your relatives don't visit unless they are the ones that live on the same street.

Teenagers spend years upstairs.

Very few people have pets, if they do it is a dog.

Lots of unusual deaths and injuries happen.

Paper cups that are obviously empty!!

Nobody has a cat, everyone uses a laundrette.

If they arrange to meet in the pub/cafe they never say a time, just ‘see you there’.

They never go for a day trip anywhere, and if they eat out it’s always in the restaurant/pub on their street.

Nobody says a proper "goodbye" on the phone, they just hang up

People make phone calls and arrange to meet but never say a time they just hang up and also don't say goodbye

People with appalling brain damage and life-changing injuries just sort of recover and it’s never mentioned again.

Quads live in a secret room upstairs and have done for years.

People blather on about ‘investing’ in piss-ant little businesses like anyone cares what they do with £2k when it wouldn’t even pay the staff wages for a week.

Having so much free time when they have a young child or children. No explanation given of where all the dc are seemingly every evening or night when they're out and about!

Labour starts spontaneously in public with waters breaking.

Babies are likely to be swapped or abducted by their neighbours

High percentage of arguments end in murder to each other that live in the same street. Marry in the same street, have affairs in the same street.

Never use a pub, hairdressers, cafe apart from the local.

No one ever finishes their food or goes to the toilet

Nobody ever works a months notice or has to train their replacement when they resign.

Buy your groceries from the local convenience store not supermarket

Only ever marry/date someone in the same street (though Mel went off travelling in Eastenders and came back with A New Bloke who just happened to be Roy Evans estranged son )

Live near an Underground but no problems parking . Only Bradley Branning ever commuted out of the Square for work.

One shag and you're pregnant

Wlak past your perfectly useable kettle to get a ropey cuppa in the cafe (take out)

Childcare appears as if by magic, kids get into nursery nstantly .

There's always an vailable house or flat

And after buying your clothes from the market (the type that are so shoddy they'll fall apart after one wear and no nylon-ey you'd better not light a ciggie ) you take them to the Laundrette for an All In The Drum Together wash..and they come out pristine .

A horrible evil resident will always have a complete personality change and become everyones best mate ...or the nice ones turn out to be Seriel Killers

I stopped watching Eastenders because no one could be happily married.
Or they get married and within hours one of them dies. Or sleeps with someone else the next day. Like really. EVERY TIME?!

Also I hate that deaths are always received with the next of kin being very stoic and just stare into space. They never throw things or vomit and they are upset for about a week then they move on very quickly.

ALSO - when a woman is in labour. Their waters break and they start screaming hysterically straight away. Two pushes and the baby is out. Does my head in

Also why do they turn the TV off when the door knocks? Who does that!