Annoyingly unrealistic things in soap operas

[Floogal]

Ones I've noticed are:
People frequenting cafés and pubs, especially when the characters are supposed to be skint (I'm not skint thankfully, but I can't afford to do that).

People who seem to earn a good wage working for the local family firm or start up.

In the case of doctors, GPs that are caring and read between the lines and chase up patients. Oh and the reception staff rehearsing for a dance competition

Children are magically seen and not heard (or neither seen nor heard) for months and months, sometimes years at a time and frequently reappear looking entirely different No parent ever needs a babysitter, unless the babysitter is (a) evil or (b) due to be the next murder victim.

A person runs in saying "I'm going to be late" then grabs a piece of toast or bacon etc, off someone's plate and runs out of the door. Or they talk to someone privately but it's accidentally played over the baby monitor.

Everyone who works for the council planning department is bent.

Every elected ward councillor has the powers of an oligarch and the negotiating authority of Ursula von de Leyen.

All council employees are well dodgy. Every single one.

Any regular character who stands for election wins.

The number of people that appear to live in a tiny terraced house/the pub.

The number of people who have been in prison

The way people turn up at a surgery and are told there is a drop in surgery today so take a seat.

If a woman vomits once, she’s pregnant.

Everyone eats out, or collects a takeaway - no matter your income.

If they do happen to Cook At Home, it’s a big deal - but then no one eats it because of some drama that Can Not Wait until after the meal! So many delicious-looking tv meals go to waste 😤

And if a character’s child/parent leaves, we never hear of them again!

(Looking at you, lovely addictive Home and Away )

The way people ask for and get a 'trial shift' in the pub/garage/cafe/shop/hairdressers then on the basis of a few hours there are given a job on the spot with no CV, interview or references needed.

They are always daft enough to say "This'll be the Best Christmas Ever" forgetting that every other year there has been :
Murder
Kidnapping
Power cut
Mass outbreak of food poisoning
Fire caused by dodgy lights that everyone bought off the market
Wedding that everyone has gone to but didn't go exactly to plan (ie disaster)

But every year , someone says it

On Xmas day, there will be some kind of situation that means several neighbours will turn up unexpectedly for Xmas lunch, with more than enough space and food for them. Can you imagine the aibu!

All patients are ushered through A&E triage in minutes and all visitors are allowed. Hospital doctors tell anyone asking absolutely anything.

No one had a bath/shower, goes to the toilet.
No-one has a washing machine at home.
Everyone eats all their meals in the cafe/pub
No one ever does driving lessons but they can all drive and have really nice cars that you never see parked in the street or on the driveway.

Oh and ...
Half the street / square is allowed in to the hospital to stare through the glass at the patient gravely ill in bed.

Mum says "come on kids, let's go" and they all get into the car without being asked 50 times to put socks on, get water bottles, find a coat and so on.

Former couples whose break-up traumatised them and all their children have a five minute chat and ‘get back together again’.

A village the size of Emmerdale could never support the businesses they have.

The magically vanishing children that no-one bothers to raise.

Everyone seems to have very flexible hours or barely ever works.

Schools in soaps are never realistic.

If there is a wedding or funeral they all turn up in amazing new outfits .
The factory in Corrie employs about 4 machinists, who spend most of their time chatting, drinking tea and eating at their machines, their are loads of office staff who spend the whole time gossiping about their love life, how it makes any money beats me.

They have elastic houses that expand at will. Eg. 10 people living in a 3 bed terrace.

Yep I don't think I've ever seen a scene with people chatting walking round Morrisons (other supermarkets available) then again I don't like soaps- I used to but then got out the habit --

No one ever needs the bathroom

Everyone leaves never having to tidy up lose ends and no one ever clears their rooms as they have a suitcase and someone else moves straight in

No clutter anywhere or shoe/coat mountains

People arrange prison visits within minutes.

And everyone who goes to prison gets sent to the local one, whether it’s for murder or fraud.

When they go shopping for clothes and come back with paper gift bags as the shopping bags, never plastic store bags or material shoppers.

All women wake up with makeup on perfectly, just foundation though if the character is meant to be ill or rundown.

The children come to the cafe for lunch. Most of of them get the bus to school. How are they supposed to get the bus to the cafe, mess around in the cafe and get back to school in an hour?

People never eat the food they order. It just sits there in front of them or they will get up and leave it untouched.

People only go out for food at the restaurant across the road, like going to your neighbour's for a meal. And people going out for curries at lunchtime in Corrie? I don't know anyone who regularly does that.

Also, there was a strange time in Emmerdale a few years ago where everyone picked up children who were about five years old and older. Very weird seeing them pick up such big children to leave somewhere.

If a character works in a hospital, they will appear working in whatever department their neighbour ends up in i.e. Martin Platt from Corrie- seen in A&E, ITU, Labour and Delivery.

Random barely related people turn up at strangers houses and just move in-see numerous Slaters, random relatives of Pat Butcher's ex husband arriving on her doorstep etc.

Nobody uses toothpaste when they brush their teeth.

Yes no one phones in advance to see if it's ok😀

Can always park their car in location of the soap