Max has delivered the baby what a load of b*ll*cks!!!

[frostythesnowmum]

Wish my labour was all of 10 min with a lot of panting and no screaming

lol it was rather funny!
Big,clean baby!

why didn't she faint, she was hyper-ventilating. and how nice that the baby was clean.

It was very impressive!
Does it not pop out that fast for everyone who is on their 3rd baby?

she still has her makeup intact, barely whispering, 'It's coming!'

And that baby is so clean!

What happened to all the gunk that comes out along with the baby?

Whilst we are on the subject of Eastenders can I just rant for 2 seconds about Honey...

They are skint how does she always look like she is wearing Whistles or Monsoon head to toe. Its soooooooooo annnoying!

And she has a new hair cut every few weeks!

That baby did have a bit of gunk on its forehead so they were obviously trying really hard to make it realistic.

But his hair is all clean!

Yah, right.

They just smeared a bit of ketchup on his head

Oscar!!!

He is quite cute though...sort of makes me want a new one....

sounds like my ds2's birth, and I don't remember him being majorly gunky!

friend at work delivered his wife and his baby on stairs at home!

I thought the hair was far too clean as well. And I know I made a fair bit of noise - but I'm quite sure I didn't sweat and pant that much. (NL really, really hopes not)

I didn't sweat as much because it was freezing when I gave birth to DD2, but damn, it's so anal I felt like I was being disembowelled.

Was second baby, had had forceps and maxed out epidural for the first so had no idea I was that close to giving birth.

Couldn't believe it when midwife told me I was a little over 9cm dilated upon arrival and only had a lip of cervix in the way.

I thought I was going to explode this time - waters didn't break till the last possible minute - I was under more pressure than Gordon Brown

And that's another thing - my waters have never broken till right before the baby is born - why on tv do they always break first - 'snot fair!!

My waters never broke till delivery with DD2.

She was born with a bit of caul on her head.

Lucky.

My father was that way, too, and that man's had the most luck of anyone I know besides my mother, who was also born with a caul on her head.

my waters have never broke they have been done for me. this time dd2 it was incredibly quick felt like i was going to implode!

See! - But on tv - it's always daft woman grabbing the arm of unsuitable bloke and saying 'I think my waters have broken' - cue end of arguement/wedding/armed siege and all transfer to hospital at speed of light for birth. Unless you're Daphne in Neighbours - in which case make yourself comfy and don't take your tights off!

I hope they weren't Calvin Klein tights.

Must have had quite a hole in the crotch.

I remember being wheeled into the delivery suite whilst in labour with DD2 as I hung onto the elevated top of the bed for dear life and the midwife saying, 'Sorry, but I need to take your PJs and pants off to examine you,' and my screaming, 'FFS, woman, rip them off for all I care, just help me get this massive poo OUT!'

And other midwife saying, 'That's no poo, that's baby's head!'

My waters broke an hour before labour with ds1, but didnt break till 2nd stage withds2. Apparently your waters are more likely to break early with just your first alot less likely with subsequet births, thats what I have been told anyway. I missed it, inconsiderate friends ringing when you want to watch something

As I recall they were quite a lurid colour - Daphne's tights not my waters.

the baby was rather big and clean, but at least it was a non traumatic birth scene! Usually in a soap mother / baby / both are much closer to death!

Any Neighbours birth is bound to be contrived, however.

Well, that goes for anything on Neighbours.

It's just so bad, it's good!

What gets me with 'soap' births is that the breaking of the waters is always followed immediately by screaming and clutching of stomach and/or falling to the floor. Then straight into the puffing and panting.
When the waters broke with my first I went back to bed and got a few more hours sleep!
Still, I suppose that would be a bit boring to watch on telly.....