Right. I have to say I’ve lost my nip. I’m struggling to find enthusiasm for it (I used to be on pins for it) and I’m struggling to care for any of them.
With that in mind - this will be dry.
Tayah is striking. She seems to have perfectly good cheekbones so I’m not sure why she has decided to draw on a bigger pair.
25 my saggy arse. I’ve got tights that have held up better than that and they are 30. Sob story noted.
Adam. Serial shagga. So why Mafs? You’ve been in more holes than a grave digger. And lone rider? Nope. You had lotsandlotsandlots of pills for that not to be true. You rode in pairs.
She wants babbies. He wants perma-flue. Well done ixperts…
Alexis - already turned off by her ‘aks’ - the word is ask. Don’t get me started on the inspiring or the pillow. And another sob story. Never mind love. You don’t need to be guarded in the relationship. Your bastard talons are a deterrent.
Jordon. Hostel sobby. And a nan. And as much personality as my insole.
The ixperts are saying the contestants have to get past the tick box mentality. How? You have them the bassad check list.
Tayah maw and her ‘that’s not who we are…’. Still forced your coupon on the telly though didn’t you love? But you spoke sense at the table so fair doos.
Jordon and his wife for life. Yet his vows said merely for the rest of their time together. So not life then.
Kiss the ring? Is that the celebrant taking the mick cos he knows it is all a nonsense?
Adam’s vows. Treat you with the love and respect every woman deserves. Just not those that you shagged but didn’t date? I hope they had least got a maccys and a wet wipe.
And the girlfriend thing with mr chatty?
Enough. Enough already.
I’m struggling to ‘bear with’ producers. It isn’t entertaining.
I’ve had piles that I had more love for.