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Strangers Making Babies

104 replies

zafferana · 26/03/2021 10:03

I can't believe there isn't a thread about this programme!

I watched it last night and found it depressing, extraordinary and just ... odd. The thought of interviewing someone to have a baby with and then having to co-parent with a complete stranger is just horrible IMO! Imagine handing your newborn over to someone you barely know for half the time? Argh! Unimaginable. Donor sperm I can understand, but this? No way.

The candidates too were not at all what I would expect. Venicia struck me as the kind of attractive, bubbly, warm person who would easily find a partner to have a family with if only she would actually make the effort to date, rather than spending all her time looking after other people's DC.

As for the men she was matched with - two guys much older than her and older than the upper age limit of 42 that she was comfortable with - one being 16 years older and already with two kids. It's a shame she and Vik didn't have any chemistry as he was by far the best match otherwise.

And Sarah - being matched with one guy who lives in Manchester when she lives in Reading and other who almost died from a serious heart condition. WTF? I can only think that C4 were short of male candidates for their bizarre programme.

Did anyone else think it was just ... I dunno ... weird and slightly unpleasant?

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 05/04/2021 13:57

I got really bad vibes from the start. Arrogant and narcissistic hiding behind a wall of jokes and ‘look how cool I am’ he gaslit the lady that picked him and had checked out by the time they met for the weekend. I suspect his ego was bruised when she made it clear she didn’t fancy him.

Sarah doesn’t want to co-parent. She wants a baby but wants financial help and so she can say it does have a father to save her the stigma (or her perceived stigma) of going into it totally alone. The guy she does it with will be no more than a prop.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 05/04/2021 13:57

*bad vibes from Nigel I meant.

RevolvingPivot · 10/04/2021 09:47

@zafferana

I am presuming zafferana was looking in the telly addict section for the thread.

Exactly! It wouldn't occur to me to venture into the bearpit of AIBU to discuss a TV programme.

Ok I usually type it into the search bar.

Nigel is a bit creepy. I think he thinks he's funny but it comes across weird.

RevolvingPivot · 10/04/2021 09:54

The last episode I saw was them choosing someone to go away with for the weekend. Have they shown that?

Keepitonthedownlow · 10/04/2021 22:21

They're all on All4

orangegina · 13/04/2021 17:04

Ahh Venetia, you came across very well

Nigel is a man child, I don't believe he is ready to be a parent and I guess he never will be ready. He didn't have the courage to go through with it

Please don't give up on your dream to be a mum. If you don't meet the right man, please go it alone! You'll he a great mum with or without a man in your life XX

RevolvingPivot · 14/04/2021 10:28

So basically the show is to prove it can't work lol ???

Any update on Sarah and Ian? I hope he didn't move to Cornwall.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 14/04/2021 10:30

I really hope Ian didn’t give it all up for Sarah. I honestly don’t know why she’s not using an anonymous sperm donor.

purpleme12 · 14/04/2021 10:40

The man who didn't work - what did he do for money if he didn't work?

purpleme12 · 14/04/2021 11:02

Mmmm i see why JP didn't want to continue seeing Trinity if she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it or not!

purpleme12 · 14/04/2021 11:02

Now someone else is having doubts!

Boc86 · 15/04/2021 09:46

Just finished it! I’d love to know what happened with Sarah and Ian, I do worry for him after what she said to the other guys about giving him the sloppy seconds or something in regards to seeing the child! She needs a sperm donor not a co parent.
I swear in the previous episode I saw a clip with them two at the bottom of the stairs and her saying she was upset she’d never properly conceive a child and he walked off? Presuming she wanted sex and he didn’t? Then nothing like that was shown on last nights final episode, unless I’m going mad and making things up!

Venicia/beebs it’s good to read your input here. Absolute bullet dodged with Nigel! I cannot believe the change in him this episode! He’s sore you didn’t want to get with him, laughed my head off at the end when it said he was single again lol he was awful to you at the end!

orangegina · 15/04/2021 12:35

At the end of this series, I feel strongly that if I were in this situation, I would rather have an anonymous donor. Not a co-parent. I don't see how that works. Unless the parents are people who are friends with a very strong relationship. And live near to each other

purpleme12 · 15/04/2021 23:53

I didn't know how to take Venecia and Nigel in the end but as PP says above if they left stuff out, that might be why

I really hope people are wrong on here about Sarah and Ian and that he is involved in the baby's life

Limer · 16/04/2021 08:28

I watched this series with complete bafflement. None of the women wanted to co-parent, they just wanted to have a baby!

I wondered whether there was a sub-text here of wanting a wealthy father to their baby, to provide a lifestyle?

Beebs101 · 16/04/2021 09:35

@Limer I’m not sure which of the women you’re talking about or what show you watched, but I certainly took part to be a coparent. I can become a mother with a sperm donor and no drama. So if you think this was the easy way out you’re wrong and I have a comfortable lifestyle with very stable finances. Thank you for your input.

To everyone else!! Hi I will reply over the next day or so just been super busy with work and dating a fantastic amazing guy!! Thanks for your kind words.

Keepitonthedownlow · 16/04/2021 22:48

I agree @Beebs101 the women in the process were in no need of a man in a financial sense, that wasnt an issue at all.

Personally I was really rooting for Sarah and Ian, they both came across as lovely people, I'm sure the could make it work.

Also @beebs101 that sounds exciting, good for you!

Sammi17 · 16/04/2021 22:51

Beebs 101...
I wasn’t too sure what I would think of the programme but I’m so pleased I watched it.
I think your amazing with such endearing vibrance and energy. I think as others have mentioned that is a real shame that you’ve not managed to meet that special person with whom you’ve wanted to start a family. It was a very bold and brave decision to pursue co-parenting (especially when being filmed!)
I would just like to comment on Nigel as I was so confused by his sudden U turn on the last episode...I can’t help being a bit suspicious that he may have invented the girlfriend to provoke a reaction from you? Suddenly we hear at the end of the programme that he is single again...It just didn’t add up when he supposedly was ready to be a Dad but then suddenly he needed so much more time when you were right at the end of of the process...!
Maybe you’ve had a lucky escape or I could of course be misjudging! (Who knows!)

I wish you every possible happiness in the future and I truly hope that one or more very lucky little people are out there somewhere waiting to choose you as their Mummy x

purpleme12 · 16/04/2021 22:59

I think Ian was possibly my favourite out of all of them. I would like an update on Ian

Beebs101 · 01/05/2021 08:15

Hi everyone I’m doing an interview with Juliet Gee at Supreme radio! Feel free to tune in, I’ll be answering some questions :) x

tun.in/seSJw

user1471604848 · 01/05/2021 08:29

@Beebs101 Hi Beebs, I haven't seen the show, but you come across incredibly well on this thread. Wishing you every luck in the future!
For context, I had twins via donor sperm in my 40s.

MagpieSong · 01/05/2021 09:17

@Thewinterofdiscontent

As gently as possible, I think the point you're missing is that loving and wanting a child aren't enough. What children need, generally, to become functional adults, is routine, stability and a stable sense of identity.

A Nanny knows all that. And frankly, she has the practise which many mums don’t. I think the spanner in the works is the father not the TV show, He’s going to be where the parenting issues occur.

Not necessarily. We knew a nanny who didn’t recognise these things at all and found parenting very difficult. Experience of caring for someone else’s children within a set time frame is not the same as being a parents and being on call all the time for children you have to make the big decisions for. The nanny we knew didn’t have a stable sense of identity herself, so couldn’t give that to her child. Not saying that’s necessarily the case here, but pointing out a job role does not equal great understanding of child development or psychology. Attachment is an ongoing theory with huge amounts of modern research, so old documentaries can be updated with much more recent research as well - like styles varying depending on each relationship for that person or being a mix of different styles.
ferryblue · 01/05/2021 10:48

It all sounds a bit Truman show to me. Let’s create a baby in these conditions and watch how it turns out for our own entertainment, sod how it affects the innocent child. I know reality shows documenting children’s lives from even before birth has been going on for years but this is the first one I’ve heard of where the child is created for the purpose of the reality show being able to follow it.

Beebs101 · 01/05/2021 12:32

@ferryblue no child would have been “created for the show” but thank you for your input.

Beebs101 · 01/05/2021 12:50

@MagpieSong yes I believe being a parent is a whole different ball game. All nannies are different as are people. I have a university degree studying child psychology-including attachment theories. I have helped raise many many many children over my 20+years as a nanny, maternity nurse and sleep trainer. I’ve worked as emergency cover and long term roles often working as 24/6 as a proxy parent. So yes thank you for your opinion, but I feel more then ready to become a mother. ✌🏾